


When The Stars Wish Me Dead

by cabbaj



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Astronomy, Bisexual Male Character, Comfort, Crime, Drama & Romance, F/M, Friendship, Hurt, M/M, Murder, Mystery, OC, Police, Romance, Serial Killer, Stars, ZPD - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2018-12-13 08:32:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 47,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11756010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabbaj/pseuds/cabbaj
Summary: Why do we exist? Up in the sky among the stars is where Jay looks for his answers. Follow the young maned wolf through Zootopia with his friends as he copes with everyday struggles. But as a dangerous serial killer starts to leave a trail of blood, Jay has to realize that the stars won't be always there to help him... Rated T for violence & language





	1. Prologue

_A great beast is walking through the sands, and they are climbing into the air, and now they are making a tear, and now they are gone, and now you are here. Little creatures are walking through the air, and they are dragging in places and echoes of lives, and they are asking me about God. I am going to tell you something, little creature. You are swimming further and further out to sea, and beyond are things blind and terrible, and I am showing you now. . . They are blind, but they are seeing you. And you are coming to them. After this, you are not returning here. I am climbing into the air and closing the sky. There is a hole at the center of everything, and it is always growing. Between the stars I am seeing it. It is coming, and you are not escaping, and the universe is forgetting you, and the universe is being forgotten, and there is nothing to remember it, not even the things beyond. And now there is only the hole. . . You are atoms, and your atoms are not caring if you are existing. Your atoms are monstrous existence. Little creature, you are not chosen. There is nothing to choose you. This is going nowhere. And the universe is forgetting you, and I am remembering you. Not because I am caring. The beginning is moments ago, the end is moments away. There is no time to forget before all is forgotten. -The Sky Cat, Night In The Woods_


	2. Welcome Home

_"When the lights shut off and it's my turn_

_To settle down, my main concern_

_Promise that you will sing about me."_

-o-

The calming humming sounds of the bus were the only thing I was able to hear over the music blaring through my headphones as the city I thought I had left behind passed me by. It felt weird to see the town again. It felt like I was taking a trip down memory lane, the nostalgic feeling creeping into my head as the houses, the trees, the mammals passed by. Nothing had changed. Houses were cloned, trees and bushes trimmed, mammals still faking their hospitality. Nothing would ever change in a district like the Meadowlands, the mammals were narrow-minded and unnecessarily bourgeois. I chuckled as I thought about the size of the stick up their asses.

But was I any different than any of them? Did I change at all during my time in college? We all like to think that we move like water through life, flexible and flowing, easily adjusting to any situation in life. But I had to disagree. I thought we were more like a rubber band, still flexible and formable, but no matter how much you adjust to your environment, deep down we all return to our old ways.

I thought I could make it through college. I really thought I had it in me, the dedication, the determination, and several other -ations. My family, my friends, hell even my grumpy neighbor Mr. Lesterson thought I could make it. I was a rubber band that had been stretched too far. I had stretched my expectations, and eventually I snapped.

It was strange. One moment we think we have it all figured out. The next moment the universe decides to fuck everything up and just leaves us stranded on an island full of uncertainties. It sucked. But that's just life.

The sound of tires screeching on the asphalt suddenly pulled me out of my mullings as my mind finally registered that I had reached my bus stop. Ripping the headphones from my ears, I quickly exited the vehicle as I stepped out into the cold night air. I could see my breath coming out of my long canine snout as I heard the bus behind me leaving the bus station, the air returning to its serene silence. Putting my paws into my hoodie pocket I started to move swiftly through the neighborhood, the few street lanterns luckily being the only thing illuminating the dark streets. It wasn't like I was afraid of the dark, hell no. Quite on the contrary, I loved night time, when everything was calm and quiet. No sounds, no mammals. Time seemed to be standing still during night, and it gave me the opportunity to think clearly.

My body was basically on auto-pilot as my feet carried me without any further ado through the neighborhood until I stood in front of a mediocre two story building. It was like flipping through an old photo album. Everything was the same, the worn white walls, the grimy window frames with the immaculately clean glass, the rampant weed in front of the porch no one wanted to get rid off, the dirty navy shingles on the roof, and the old rusted mail-box by the pavement.

A smile tugged on my lips as my blue eyes roamed the familiar building I had spent most of my life in. It wasn't much by anything, mind you. My mom worked by the church and worked her ass off in order to take care of us. I never knew my dad, that bastard left us as soon as he noticed that he didn't have any love left for my mother and me. So she had always been the only breadwinner in this household. We didn't have a car, we didn't have any luxuries like a flatscreen or a pool, but who the hell needs that shit? 'Stay humble," my mom used to say, 'That way you learn to appreciate the important things in live.'

I suddenly realized how much I actually missed home. Going to college was fun and all, but nothing beat the feeling of coming home, real home. Home is when mammals notice that you are gone. And I didn't need to read the hundreds of texts from my mom to know that she had missed me as well.

Stepping forward towards the worn wooden front door, I swiftly pulled out my keys, the movement seared into my muscle memory as I unlocked the door before stepping into the familiar warmth of home, not just the literal warmth of the interior, but also the warmth inside of me as my eyes roamed the place I cherished the most.

"Mom?" I called as I closed the door behind me, "I'm home!"

"Jay?" a muffled voice sounded from somewhere in the house.

Immediately I could hear someone frantically moving above my head, the floorboards creaking as a female maned wolf finally rushed down the steps. Her eyes lit up in joy as soon as they fell upon me and I just couldn't help but to smile upon seeing her.

"Hey mom," I greeted before she quickly crossed the hallway, enwrapping me in a bone crushing hug I happily reciprocated. God, how much I had missed this. Her smell, her touch. Immediately all of my worries, my issues just faded away and melted like butter as I could feel my tense muscles relax. Only a mother's hug could do something like this. I wasn't sure how long we hugged each other, but eventually we broke apart as I looked into the slightly teary eyes of my mother as she gently stroked my facial fur,

"Gosh, you look horrible. Are you eating enough?" she chuckled. I rolled my eyes as I answered amusedly,

"I missed you too, mom."

"How was your ride? Are you hungry? Or cold? I hope it wasn't too inconvenient. You know I would have picked you up if I had a car.." she rambled before I stopped her by putting my paws on her shoulders.

"I'm fine, mom," I chuckled, "Just tired, but that's about it. And besides, I'm twenty years old, I think I can take care of myself, don't you think?"

"You don't get to play the adult card, you're still my baby, no matter how old you are," she retorted, a smirk on her lips as she turned around to walk towards the kitchen, "What do you want to eat? We have pancakes, cereal, toast?"

I just shook my head as I followed her into the cramped space,

"No thanks, I'm not hungry, and I'm not a _baby_. I'm taller than you!" I joked as I took a seat by the kitchen table, setting down my backpack on the floor and watching as my mother turned around, crossing her arms and watching me skeptically.

"So you're a big baby, doesn't matter. A mother is still allowed to love her child, isn't she?" she retorted before taking a seat opposite to me. I couldn't help but smile as I continued to chat with the most important lady in my life. This was what I had missed so dearly, the small interactions, the chatting, the jokes and teasing. Everything seemed perfect, as if nothing had changed at all. Again it was just her and me, both of us seemingly against the world. For a while I thought all was fine. At least it lasted for a few blissful seconds before she decided to speak up,

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Her smile slightly dropped as she softened her gaze, her loving and concerned hazel eyes gauging my reaction as I tried to appear as nonchalant as possible. Apparently I wasn't the greatest actor as my mom's expression immediately saddened as soon as I turned my head away, averting eye contact as my voice lowered,

"There's nothing to talk about," I responded, my fingerpads sliding over the cleanly polished kitchen table as I fidgeted in my seat.

"Jay," she spoke up again, "You know you can talk to me about anythi-"

"I already told you there is nothing to talk about!" I raised my voice, spinning around to glare at her, fangs bared and muscles tensed. But as soon as my eyes fell on the surprised expression on her face, anger melted into guilt as I softened my gaze and tried to calm myself down, closing my eyes and taking a few calming breaths...

_10…. 9…. 8…._

_Inhale… exhale…_

_7… 6… 5… 4…_

I could feel her grasp as she slid her own paw over the table to grab mine, gently stroking it with her thumb, my ears picking up the faint sigh escaping her lips,

_3… 2… 1…_

Sighing tiredly, I opened my eyes just to see the heartbroken face of my concerned mother, her eyes misty as she watched her messed up son. Turning my paw I took hers into mine as I reciprocated the gesture, my gaze returning to stare blankly at the table as I lowered my voice,

"I… I'm fine, mom. Don't worry about it."

She didn't look satisfied with my answer, I wasn't either. But that's just the way it was. I wasn't ready for this kind of talk. Especially not now. Not tomorrow. Maybe in a few weeks. Maybe never. Who the fuck knows.

"Alright," she eventually huffed, putting on a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes as she regarded me, tightening her grasp on my paw, "It's late. Maybe you should go to bed.."

"Yeah.." I muttered before I stood up from my chair, the old wood creaking from my weight. Grabbing my backpack, I started to walk towards the door. The room was warm. The heater was up. Windows closed.

Then why was it so cold?

As I reached the threshold I stopped in my tracks before muttering a silent,

"Goodnight."

With that I left the kitchen and started to ascend the stairs towards my old bedroom. I didn't hear a response from my mother, not like I expected anything. I didn't think I really deserved an answer, not even a simple goodnight. Here I was, returning home and invading my mother's house, yelling at her without any reason. As I stood in front of the closed door of my old bedroom, guilt started to swell inside of me. I felt like dirt. I felt like the biggest disappointment.

I felt like my dad. It was always the same old story.

Eventually I tried to push these thoughts away as I opened the door, the hinges squeaking as it swung open, revealing the cramped space that was my room. As I entered the room, setting down my bag on the floor, I noticed how little had actually changed. The single bed to my right in the back of the room, my desk to my left, old wooden wardrobe right beside the door, and the shelves filled with novels, horror stories, and fables I had inherited from my grandfather. It was exactly like I had left it two years ago. The only difference being that it was clean. I raised an intrigued brow as I noticed that I was actually able to see the floor. My mom always hated how messy I was. Don't get me wrong, I don't like the mess either, but I was also incredibly lazy. Why bother making the bed when I'm going to sleep in it later anyways? I always told my mom that my room was less of a mess but more of an organized chaos. I knew where everything was. If I threw anything on the floor then I would remember exactly where it would be. There was a system behind it all. Well, my mom's reaction to that was calling my system dumb, and I honestly think that's the closest she ever gotten to an anarchist.

Sighing, I swiftly closed the door, not bothering to turn on the lights as the moon provided plenty of light through the windows as I crossed the room, steering towards my bed. To say I was tired would be the biggest understatement of the century. That's what thirteen hours of riding the bus do to your body. I specifically didn't want to go to a college here in Zootopia. I loved the city life, no doubt. But when you spend your whole life living on these streets you yearn for a change of pace. I wanted to see the world, I wanted to expand my horizon beyond the skyscrapers and streets I have seen my whole life. So I had decided to go to a college in Deerbrooke, a smaller city a few hundred miles south from Zootopia, away from all the hustle and bustle, away from friends and family.

As I reached my modest bed I immediately crashed onto the mattress, my body slumping and muscles relaxing in an instance as I closed my weary eyes. The clean sheets and the soft mattress felt like utter heaven. If there was a ranking list of things that felt the best, falling onto your bed after a long day would definitely be second place, right behind peeing after holding it in for hours. Chris had already asked me several times why sex wasn't in first place. Well, how was I supposed to rank sex if I was a fucking virgin? Chris only response to that was calling me a "Fucking loser", fair enough.

Speaking of the devil. As I thought about that certain snow leopard, my phone inside my pocket started to vibrate, announcing a call. Grumbling tiredly I rolled onto my side as I reached lazily for my phone, not bothering to open my eyes and keeping my bodily movements to a complete minimum as I answered the call and putting it on speaker before I grunted a muffled,

"Hello?"

 _"You're actually back!"_ a juvenile voice blared through the speakers, causing me to flatten my ears.

"Yeah, I'm back," I mumbled as I rolled onto my back, staring blankly at the ceiling as I listened to my best friend's voice,

 _"Holy shit, it's true! Sam actually said the truth,"_ Chris chuckled, causing me to smile as I answered, my mind slightly awakening as I talked to the feline,

"When was the last time Sam ever lied?"

 _"Tou-sh,"_ Chris answered amusedly. I raised a questioning brow as I tried to figure out what the hell he was saying, until it dawned onto me. I tried my best not to burst into laughter as I answered,

"It's 'Touché', dumbass," I laughed.

 _"Whatever, do I look like I speak Spanish?"_ Chris chuckled back. This time I actually raised my head to look at the phone screen. I was about to speak up before the snow leopard continued flatly,

_"I'm kidding. God, do you seriously think I'm that stupid?"_

"Do you want me to answer that?"

_"Don't."_

I chuckled as I laid my head back down on the mattress as I closed my eyes. Among the things I had missed the most, talking and spending time with Chris and Sam was definitely up top. I had known the two of them since my childhood and we were best friends ever since. Growing up in the same neighborhood allowed the three of us to see each other every day, so it was only natural for us to do just that, running around the streets, doing dumb shit kids just do, harassing the elder neighbors, and just being a huge pain in the ass for the other mammals. It was great.

_"Anyways. Since your ass is here now, we should definitely meet up."_

"That sounds gay as fuck. Continue," I chuckled.

 _"Shut up, you know what I mean,"_ he retorted, though I could hear him smiling over the phone, _"Let's go to the Central Park tomorrow. Just you, me, and Sam. Like the old times, you know? You and Sam can talk about the boring shit while I'm actually entertaining."_

"Har har, very funny," I answered.

_"I know. Thank you for finally acknowledging my humor."_

"Alright, walked into that one," I chuckled as I rubbed my eyes before releasing a sigh, "So what time you wanna meet up?"

_"Lunch time? Around noon?"_

"Sounds good. I'll see you guys there," I answered, my voice slurred and my eyes closed as my mind was already drifting into desperately needed sleep. My mind barely registered Chris' answer as he hung up and I was already on the verge of unconsciousness, my body growing numb and my mind falling asleep as I drifted into nothingness.

-o-

I didn't know how long I was actually asleep, but as I awakened drechned in my own sweat, panting heavily as my heart seemed to be racing a thousand miles per hour, I was sure it couldn't have been long. Putting a paw onto my heaving chest and trying to calm down my rigid body, I closed my eyes as I controlled my breathing.

_Exhale... inhale._

Slowly yet steadily my body relaxed until I was finally able to sit on my bed without worrying to throw up. My heart was still beating rapidly, but had slowed down considerably.

Why the hell did I wake up looking like a panicked pup? My clothes were literally soaked, I noticed as I glanced down on my body. I hadn't made the effort to change them since I came home, and now they reeked as if I hadn't showered in weeks. Scrunching my nose I quickly took off my sweater and shirt until I sat topless on my bed, my eyes staring blankly at nothing and everything at the same time. My mind was racing. My body was tense. I could still feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins. But as I sat on top of my sheets, I couldn't remember by my life what I have dreamt of. It was gone. Whatever I had dreamt of, it must have been obviously something terrifying. Something that shook me to the core.

But what was it? I could only remember faint images, not literal images. More like abstract perceptions. I could smell things, something murky, something reeking. I could hear screams, whimpers. Sickening thuds of flesh connecting with flesh. I could smell blood.

A shudder ran down my spine and I could suddenly feel the bile rising in my throat as I shot up from my bed before rushing over to my window. Swiftly opening it, I took several calming breaths, relishing the fresh night air as my wide eyes roamed blankly the streets. Everything was calm, everything was serene. A sickening contrast to the warzone inside my mind.

But as I stood there by my window, my arms supporting my weight as I leaned onto the frame, my lungs desperately yearning for fresh air, my body again slowly relaxed. For my liking I had way too many breakdowns in the last few hours. This wasn't like me. Normally I would get these kinds of panic attacks once in a while, maybe two or three times a month. Never in such a short interval. What was happening to me?

 _I'm just tired_ , I tried to tell myself as I continued to watch the streets from above. But if I was so tired, why couldn't I fall asleep? Glancing to my right, I could see my digital clock reading 3:24 am. It was way too early to wake up. My body felt like lead, my mind was heavy, and I was beyond tired. Yet I couldn't think of going to sleep. Something kept me from getting back into bed and falling into nothingness. I knew exactly what it was.

It was fear. Fear of returning to that world of uncertainty, of blood and screaming. So what do mammals like me do when they are scared? They make a run for it. Of course not literally. Instead I decided to just do something I had always done in my childhood when I was afraid.

Taking another steadying breath I returned to my bed to pick up my phone and to put on another sweater before I returned to the window. Swiftly and without sparing another thought, I climbed out of the window before landing on top of my projecting roof, the dark blue shingles beneath my paws felt cold as ice as I stepped further out into the night. Finding my spot, I seated myself on the edge of the roof as I started to stare out into the night. I wasn't exactly looking for anything as my eyes darted around the area. I watched how the spruces and firs danced in the wind, I listened how the forest a few yards away from my house whispered to me, the sounds of leaves rustling and crickets chirping, the sound of water rushing from a nearby river. The cold yet calming light from the moon and stars as they sparkled like tiny fires among the dark firmament above my head. It was wonderful.

I used to come up here all the time when I felt out of place. Whenever I felt like a misplaced piece of puzzle in this world, whenever I was sad or angry. My therapist had told me it was a good way of coping with these kinds of feelings, he had told me it was a good way of coping. I initially had thought it was bullshit, but after having spent a considerable amount of time just sitting here at night, watching how the world and time passed me by, I started to believe him. It was balm for my scarring soul. Staring up at the stars, into the broad expense of the universe, it made me feel so tiny. So small and irrelevant. It made me forget my problems, which were so puny and minor in contrast with the world out there. None of it mattered as soon as my eyes roamed the firmament above me. It calmed my soul to know, that no matter how much would happen, no matter how drastically my life might change, there would always be one consistency in my life. The stars would always be up above my head, they will always remind me of how meaningless my problems were, they would always reassure me that everything would eventually be alright.

I remembered how I used to sit up here with Chris and Sam. We would lay down on a blanket on the roof and have a picnic up here while watching the sunset or -rise. I remember how we chatted, joked and teased each other. I remember how he used to watch how the water rose dangerously as a storm flooded the Meadowlands a few years back, and how Chris joked about how cars would soon be irrelevant and how we would have to travel by boats and canoes. How Sam had socked him in his shoulder as she had scolded him for telling such a horrible joke, even though she had laughed as well. I remembered how genuine everything was, how carefree we had lived. It was just us three against the world. A smile tugged on my lips as all the wholesome memories reappeared in my mind. All the times I actually felt happy in this part of town.

_Rustle_

My ears shot up upon hearing the faint sound, my eyes immediately roaming the area as I looked around. It came from somewhere in the woods, among the shadows of the trees and bushes.

"Hello?" I called out into the darkness as I stood up from my seating position, my eyes locked with whatever was out there. Just as expected I didn't receive an answer. Was it just the wind rustling through the trees? No I couldn't be. The sound was way too loud compared to the faint rustling from the wind. It sounded distorted, unnatural. It sounded mammal-made.

"Who's there?" I called, again met with silence. But it wasn't serene silence. It was tense. I could feel my palms getting sweaty as I clenched my fists, my eyes focussed onto the trees a few yards away from my porch. My ears swiveled around, trying to pick up any more sounds that could tell me who was hiding among the shadows. I felt like I was being watched, I felt vulnerable not knowing who was there.

But as I continued to watch the woods, nothing reached either my eyes or ears. Whoever or whatever had been there, was gone. Tense silence returned to calming tranquility.

"Huh, weird," I muttered to no one in particular. Maybe it really was just the wind and my tired mind was playing tricks on me. Maybe it was my paranoia, or I was just nervous from the nightmare. It didn't matter, right?

I was about to sit back down as another sound reached my ears, causing me stop dead in my tracks. This time, it was definitely not the wind. No, it was way too close to me, way too loud to be something natural caused by the wind. I noticed that the sound came from below me.

Turning around and glancing down, my blue eyes landed upon a seemingly insignificant pinecone, laying in the grass. Swallowing nervously I looked back up as I glanced around the neighborhood. No trees.

 _How the hell did that pinecone get here?_ , I wondered. I was just about to just dismiss it and brush it off as something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Spinning around just in time, I was able to witness as something was hurled from the darkness of the woods as it flew straight at me, or at least into my direction as it landed in the grass below me right beside the other pinecone. It was another cone.

Now it was certain. Someone was definitely out there.

"Hey! Who's there?" I yelled as I stared out into the woods, my eyes watching for any movement at all. Not seeing anything, somehow my mind came up with the ingenious idea to investigate it further. Mammals always used to make fun of the actors in horror movies who were too dumb to just run away. Instead they would investigate the strange sound or something else, and surprise surprise! They die. I don't know why I did it, but my body was seemingly moving on its own as it was leading me right into the climax of the horror movie.

I swiftly climbed down from the projecting room before jumping into the slightly wet grass, ignoring the cold creeping up my legs as I steered for the woods from where the pinecone came from. I started running, not wanting the mystery mammal to run off. But as I reached the edge of the woods I halted in my tracks, my chest heaving from the running as my ears perked up, trying to catch any extraordinary sounds. My eyes darted around the place, looking for anything out of place, but after spending several minutes not picking up any sounds or seeing anything, I had to acknowledge defeat, my shoulders slumping as I let out a sigh. My lungs were still struggling to catch air as I slumped down, putting my paws onto my knees.

"Man, I should really quit smoking," I mumbled to myself, already knowing that I could never quit smoking. I remained for a couple more seconds just standing by the edge of the forest trying to catch my breath until I eventually decided to retreat to my house. Whoever had been here was gone. I felt nervous, and to be honest slightly terrified. The fact that someone had been watching me while sitting on top of the roof the whole time raised a lot of red flags, especially since I lived in the Meadowlands. The biggest crime spree ever seen in these parts of Zootopia were a series of vandalism as some shitty teens had been spraying graffiti all over the place. I knew of it because Chris and me were said shitty teens.

Trying to shake off the unsettling feeling I quickly turned around and started to jog back towards my house, leaving the woods behind me. As I came closer to my house my eyes fell upon the two pinecones lying in the grass in front of my porch and my projecting roof. Deciding to investigate them, I picked both of them up, my paws feeling the rough texture of the cones as I glanced over them. Aside from being ordinary cones they were…

… just that. Ordinary cones. Pinecones from pines. I didn't know what I had expected. Shaking my head I mentally kicked myself for being so paranoid. What did I expect from these cones? That they would somehow magically turn into grenades? That some sick stalker probably jacked off to some fucked up fetish that included throwing pinecones at lone teens? It was ridiculous! It wasn't like that there would be… would… a…

"What the..?" I uttered as my eyes fell on something strange stuck between the scales, something white. It was a piece of paper. Someone had stuck it between the scales just to throw it later in my direction. Whoever had been out there watching me had sent me a message.

Intrigued, I stuck my claws in between the scales as I picked out the small piece of paper, quickly noticing that it was folded together. I frowned as I dropped the cone, now fully focussed on the message, and as soon as I unfolded it, my curious expression quickly shifted into pure terror and confusion.

Three words. Three simple words that shook me to the core as I stood in my front yard, staring down at the message that would probably haunt me for the next few weeks. Whoever had been out there, who had been most likely stalking me was no stranger. It was someone who knew me, someone who knew my name and where I lived.

_Welcome home, Jay. *_


	3. Godless Youth

_"I woke up this morning and figured I'd call you_

_In case I'm not here tomorrow"_

-o-

I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel about the thing that happened last night. Don't get me wrong, I was pretty sure I was absolutely terrified. There was no need for discussion about that. The fact that I was occasionally glancing over my shoulder every couple of seconds, _while walking in my own house_ , fearing that whoever lunatic had been watching me might somehow attack me, was definite proof that I was going crazy. My therapist used to tell me, if I felt unsure about anything, I was supposed to just look for a silver lining, anything positive that might come out of the situation.

I don't know about you guys, but there is definitely no silver lining about a damn stalker.

But was I going to do anything about it? Hell no, I wouldn't even know how to go about it. I had no idea who that mammal might have been. Not once did I catch a glimpse of them, not even a scent. It was as if I was hunting a ghost. The only exception was that ghosts wouldn't be able to throw fucking pinecones with messages attached to them. And this mammal did it twice.

What was even more unsettling was that this mammal knew who I was and where I lived. This mammal knew exactly, when I was on that roof. To say it was creepy would be an understatement. But just as I had said before, there was no way I could have done anything about it. I couldn't just go to the ZPD with no leads at all, telling them that a forest spirit was harassing me with pinecones. They would have a good laugh and then send me off to Cliffside for being another nutjob.

So like any angsty teenager, I did the only thing a teenager would do when they were facing problems and fears; I bottled it up and threw it as far away as possible, somewhere where my mind couldn't find it in the hopes I would forget it. My therapist used to say that this behavior was extremely unhealthy, but I was here for a good time, not for a long time, right?

After putting on some decent clothes and brushing my teeth, I quickly descended the stairs as I walked into the living room, crossing it hurriedly. I tried my best not to appear suspicious, taking several steadying breaths before I entered the kitchen. I didn't want to give my mom any indications as to what had happened last night. That lady had enough problems to deal with as it was, the last thing she would need was a stalker outside of her home.

"Morning mom," I greeted her, the elder maned wolf turning her head to look at me, a beaming smile on her face as she flashed a warm toothy smile, the argument last night seemingly forgotten.

"Morning hun, did you sleep well?" she asked before turning back to the newspaper in her paws.

"Like a baby," I answered nonchalantly while leaning against the counter. It wasn't technically a lie. I mean, I didn't have a baby, but judging by the mammals that did have kids, I doubt their circles under their eyes came from sleeping children. So technically, I did sleep like a baby. Not at all.

"That's good to hear. Do you have any plans today? The weather is pretty nice, don't you think, considering it's in the middle of October," she asked, raising the mug of coffee towards her snout before taking a cautious sip from the hot brew.

"Yeah I guess. I'm going out soon, gonna meet up with Chris and Sam at Central Park. You remember them?"

"Oh, of course! Your little friends," she smiled as she turned around to regard me. Her eyes lit up as she recalled the two, "That little snow leopard and the hyena. Gosh, they were so darn cute! I wonder how they are doing, haven't seen them in a while…"

"Well, I'm more than glad to tell you all about them as soon as I'm back," I interrupted her mullings, an amused smile on my face as I started to move backwards towards the front entrance, but stopping in my tracks as she spoke up.

"Oh, okay," she turned back towards me as her expression slightly darkened, "Be careful though, alright?"

"Come on, mom," I huffed, "These are the Meadowlands! Nothing happens around here! The highlight of the week here used to be the ice cream man driving through. What's he gonna do? Ice me to death? "

"Oh hush, you. You know what I mean," she waves it off before the smile returned to her face, still a concerned sparkle in her eyes, "I'm just saying. You can't judge a mother for caring about her child, do ya?

"Well, you should go now. Don't want your friends waiting, right? You should drop by the church some time if you happen to be around."

"Yeah, will do. See ya later," I hurriedly said goodbye as I was already halfway out of the door, sending her a last wave before I left the building. Putting on my headphones and turning up my music, I swiftly crossed the street and started to move towards the bus station. My mom was right, even though it was halfway through October, the weather was quite nice. There were surprisingly few clouds up in the blue sky as the sun shone down on the streets of Zootopia. I watched how golden and amber leaves danced in the wind before they fell from their twigs, gliding towards the ground before the wind carried them away. I watched how mammals started to wrap themselves in thicker layers of clothes as they went about their business. But as I walked towards the streets, I also noticed how said mammals were avoiding me, especially prey. It was subtle, almost unrecognizable, but I could definitely see how they were steering clear of me. Some of them didn't even try to be subtle as they changed directions or sides of the street upon seeing me.

I couldn't say it didn't get to me, but at least I didn't feel angry about it. No, I felt disappointed. After so many years, after so much work, the gap between prey and preds seemed to get bigger and bigger everyday. It was like a wound, a laceration. Starting off as a small issue, but as soon as we start to work on it, as soon as mammals notice that there is something amiss, we would make it worse my touching and prodding the wound in the hopes it would somehow get better. But instead it gets worse. It gets infected. And mammals start to get sick.

Ironically, as I neared the bus station, I could make out a huge billboard in the distance depicting a gray furred bunny clad in police gear flashing a wide smile, buck tooth showing and all. Beside her a writing in bold letters reading **"In Zootopia, anyone can be anything!"**. She was holding a thumbs up, ears erect and vibrant eyes, etc etc. To make it short, she was disgustingly happy, as if the Mammal Inclusion Initiative had done any good at all. Sure, there were bunnies and foxes and God-knows-what inside the ranks of the ZPD, but what was the point? What were they trying to do? Were they trying to prove something? As if they were trying to say 'Hey! We have a bunny cop now! Racism is over!'. Complete bullshit.

I tried not to think about it as I quickly entered the bus before it drove off towards Downtown. Thinking about politics was never a good thing to do. I always thought if mammals focus too much on politics, they tend to label things, to compartmentalize mammals. They create borders. They create gaps that shouldn't have existed in the first place.

My solution? Well, if I was president or the ruler of the world or something like that, I would instigate a fucking anarchy. No rules, no border, no nothing. If mammals start to see how fucked up life would be, they would start to cherish the important things and see how irrelevant it was what kind of species someone was.

The sound of tires screeching eventually pulled me out of my thoughts as I pulled my headphones from my ears before quickly exiting the bus. Out of memory I swiftly walked through the streets towards the Central Park. It was only a few blocks away, so I shortly arrived at the park, my eyes already roaming the area as I looked for Chris. It didn't take me long to find the snow leopard as I spotted him further down the park sitting on a park bench, still wearing his football jersey from high school. His eyes were roaming lazily the park as he slumped in his seat until his green eyes fell upon me, immediately lightening up before he shot up from the bank as I closed the distance between us.

"Jay! Man, it's so good to see you," he greeted me enthusiastically as he wrapped me into a bone-crushing hug, one I gladly reciprocated before he lifted me off the ground, the two of us bursting out in laughter.

"Damn, did you lose weight? You're as light as a Feather," Chris chuckled before setting me back onto the ground. I couldn't contain my own laughter as I straightened out my clothes, his infectious smile tugging on my lips.

"Har, har, very funny," I chuckled.

"Man, you have no idea how much I've missed you sorry ass. I gotta say, the Meadowlands are even more boring without you."

"I can definitely tell, can't say I missed your jokes at my expense though," I smiled before the two of us sat down onto the bench, our eyes soon roaming the park, still smiling with bright eyes.

"Don't expect me to apologize," the snow leopard retorted with a smirk, "That's what you get for leaving me behind with all those prey! You know how I feel about them grazers."

My smile slightly dropped upon hearing my friend's quip. I had always known how Chris felt about prey. To say he disliked them would be an understatement. Chris hated prey. Passionately. And I couldn't really hold it against him. Chris had all the reasons to hold resentment against prey mammals because of his past, and it had always made me uncomfortable to hear it. While I didn't exactly like prey very much either, I always tried to keep my resentment to myself. It was my business whom I didn't like. And hearing my friend openly bashing them caused me to slightly frown as we chatted.

"I didn't leave you alone," I retorted, feeling slightly guilty as I understood how Chris might have been feeling. While he tended to joke, his jokes always held a grain of truth. Sometimes his quippings weren't just that, they were silent cries for help.

"Sam is still here right?"

"Yeah, but you know how she is," Chris sighed, "She's always been the goody-goody among us three. She's nice and all, and I love her, don't get me wrong. But she's no partner in crime."

I smiled upon hearing this. Chris was right. While Sam had always been trying to be the responsible one, Chris and me spent our time wreaking havoc in the Meadowlands. We were small time criminals, vandalism and petty theft always on our agenda. While I couldn't exactly say we didn't occasionally hurt mammals, accidentally mind you, I couldn't deny that we had a blast. We were young, living in the Meadowlands a vain attempt to keep out spirits in. We thought we were doing good by bringing some action into the lives of these mammals. But I had to realize sooner or later that we were nothing but a huge pain in the asses, so I stopped some time doing these kinds of stuff. Chris though, he seemingly never stopped.

"Speaking of, where is Sam?"

"Oh, she couldn't make it," Chris answered, an apologetic expression on his face as he turned towards me, "she's busy working at City Hall."

"City Hall?" I repeated, eyes widening in surprise, "What the hell is she doing in City Hall?"

"Well, while you were gone, she's gotten herself an internship at City Hall. Since then she's been working her ass off, barely has any time for anything. But I'm glad she's found something to do, at least she's not breathing down our necks anymore. She wants to run for mayor one day, you remember?"

I smiled upon hearing this. I was genuinely glad for Sam, finding herself such a fitting job. It was her dream job after all. Ever since we were kids, Sam dreamt of being mayor. She wanted to help so desperately, wanted to address all the issues that were plaguing the city, wanted to mend the gap between prey and preds. She was too good for this city.

"Doesn't surprise me," I chuckled, "What about you? What have you been doing?"

"Ugh, just working," he groaned, slumping in his seat, "You know the gas station down the road by the highway to the Rainforest District? That's where I'm spending my precious time. I swear my nose is already numb from all the smell of gasoline, and if only one more shitty prey decides to yell at me and demands to speak with the manager, I'm going to blow that place up."

We shared a laugh as the two of us continued to watch the mammals wandering around the park. It was past noon by now and the sun was up high on its zenith as it brightened up the green area of the park, while the clear blue sky above us promised a picture perfect day.

"But I need the money, Jay," Chris continued as a wistful smile tugged on his lips, his gaze lowering as he stared at his paws in his lap, "You know, I want to get out of here. This city, the Meadowlands, the mammals. I want to widen my horizon, Jay. I want to see the world, go somewhere where I can actually feel free.

"When was the last time you felt like you could be yourself, Jay? And I mean truly yourself."

I thought about it a moment. When was the last time I felt I could be myself? When did I feel truly free? Was it even possible to do that? After having lived my whole life in Zootopia, every predator has to come to the realization someday, that we're not as free as we like to think. We would always be chained to prejudices and predispositions. No predator would ever be free. After a moment I opened my mouth,

"Never."

"Exactly," Chris replied, "There ain't no way we as predators can feel free in this city, not until something changes."

"What about the Mammal Inclusion Initiative?"

"Come on Jay, don't tell me you believe in that bullshit. The only thing it did was to spread recognition to a problem that had been there the whole time. I don't need a reminder how oppressed we are, Jay. Bellwether did already enough on that matter. What I need is actual change."

Prey will always look down upon us. We will always have to wear a mask, a metaphorical collar that restraints us. I don't want to spend the rest of my life chained by societal expectations, Jay. I want to leave all of that behind. Like you did."

"But.. but I'm back, am I not?" I retorted as I listened to Chris.

"That you are," he replied as he gave me a meaningful look, "That brings me to the question, why the hell are you back in the city? You have actually managed to escape this hellhole. What the fuck happened?"

"I… I don't really want to talk about it." Memories flashed through my inner eye and I had to clench my fist, forcing them away as I took a quiet steadying breath. I don't know why I kept this secret, especially when it came to mammals like Chris. I've known the leopard for almost my whole life, I knew I could trust him. Then why the hell was I so reluctant?

"Come on, Jay," he smiled compassionately, "You know you can trust me. What's going on?"

I turned towards him as a wistful smile spread across my lips, "I think you already know, Chris. It's not like anyone could ever forget something like this.."

Understanding flashed across the feline's face before he turned back around to gaze around the park. We remained silent for a couple moments, none of us saying anything. I actually didn't feel like talking. I felt fine, I felt content just sitting here with my best friend, watching the world pass us by while we sat in our own world, a world where we could be the closest to be truly ourselves. A safe haven.

"Anyways," Chris sighed after a while, a genuine smile spreading across his face before he turned towards me, eyes sparkling enthusiastically, "Enough of that mushy shit. It's time for us to have a good time, since you're back. And I already have the perfect idea in mind!"

"What is it?"

"Tonight, Downtown, there's a party somewhere seclusive down the forest path. And we're going to light that party up! Just the three of us, just like the old times," the snow leopard suggested.

"A party? I don't know.." I had never really been the party mammal. I didn't feel comfortable around strange mammals, the loud music, and the smell of vomit and other other bodily fluids. Just the thought of it sent a shiver down my spine.

"Come on, Jay! It'll be fun!"

"Ugh, you know how I am at parties," I groaned as I let my head fall back onto the bench, "All I'm gonna do is stand awkwardly in the corner and drink until I pass out!"

"Then we're going to be your corner and we drink together until we pass out!"

"You don't even drink, Chris."

"Well, I don't need alcohol to have a good time. I get high of life. And weed."

We shared another laugh as we sat on the bench. Damn, it felt good to spend time with Chris. I didn't know how much I actually missed this, but as I sat here beside my best friend, I couldn't help but feel like that this was the first time I was the closest to be genuinely happy. Maybe going to this party with Chris and Sam wouldn't be so bad at all..

"Alright, you convinced me," I sighed while smiling, "I'm gonna go."

"Fantastic!" Chris exclaimed, "It's not like you had a choice in the first place, but I'm glad you felt like you did."

I socked him into his shoulder for that one before we bursted into laughter, my mouth actually starting to hurt after smiling so much. After we calmed down from out fit, Chris smile quickly dropped as soon as he glanced at his phone, seeing that we have talked for roughly an hour.

"Fuck! I'm late for work, my break's been over ten minutes ago!"

The feline frantically shot up from the bench and was about to run off before he regarded me a last time,

"Alright, I'm gonna pick you up later around 9. Be ready, or we're leaving you. See ya!"

With that the snow leopard dashed off down the way towards his car as I remained seated, my eyes amusedly following his form until he disappeared in the distance. Slumping into my seat, I thought about the party tonight. It had been a while since the last time I went to a party. I didn't even know what mammals do at a party. Drinking? Drugs? Did mammals dance? What kind of music was trendy right now? I didn't even think I had something to wear.

As I sat there alone in the park, I realized that none of that was actually important. The only thing that mattered, the only thing that could make me happy, was to actually spend time with my two best friends… Chris and…

-o-

"Sorry, Sam can't make it."

"What?" I stared wide eyed at the apologetically smiling feline as I sat in his car, his engine humming loudly as he parked in my driveway. I had just closed the door, wondering silently where the hyena was, but I guess Chris beat me to it.

"Why? Does that mean it's just us?"

"Yep, looks like it," Chris answered nonchalantly as he pulled out the driveway, his rusty mint green pick up truck swerving onto the empty streets, "She's pushing overtime at the office, says she's gotta take a raincheck this time."

My mood slightly dropped upon hearing this as I had really looked forward to seeing the hyena again after such a long time. I felt slightly disappointed, to be honest, but I understood. Sighing, I turned my head to glance out the window as I watched the rows of houses passed by and slowly changed into rows of trees and bushes until we were driving through what seemed to be a forest. I realized how seclusive this party seemed to be, and how quickly we were going to arrive. As the realization hit, I suddenly felt incredibly anxious, my lungs struggling to push air through my lungs. My eyes widened as I realized I was about to get an anxiety attack, my paws gripping my thighs as I turned around to look at Chris who continued to drive, but he seemed to have noticed my situation as he spoke up in a concerned tone as he frowned,

"You alright there, buddy?"

"Does it look like I'm alright," I wheezed, "Oh God, I think I'm about to throw up."

"Woah, woah! Not onto the cushion!" Chris exclaimed, his truck slightly swerving onto the other lane before he quickly corrected it, the truck rattling as I clenched my eyes shut.

"Alright, alright," Chris said panickedly, "Hey, Jay! Everything's fine, alright? It's just a party, I'm here with you, everything will be fine."

I tried to focus solely on Chris' voice as my heart raced inside my chest, but I could already feel my body slowly relaxing as I steadily calmed down, my lungs still struggling for air, but at least I didn't feel like I was about to throw up. Taking a few steadying breaths, I opened my eyes before I swallowed, glancing over to the concerned feline who was still driving,

"Thanks man," I panted, "I think I'm fine now."

"You sure? I can drive you home if you don't feel well," Chris suggested as he slowed the car.

"No, no," I waved it off as my lungs started to work properly again, "I'm fine, really. I can do this. Man, I hope there's a lot of alcohol, 'cause I'm going to need it."

I chuckled as I tried to lighten up the air. Chris quickly caught onto it as he joined in my laughter, the feline smirking before he retorted,

"You know, only losers need alcohol to have fun."

"Pfft, alcohol is great. It helps me loosening up," I quipped, silently appreciating Chris' attempt to bring some levity into the situation after what just happened.

"Exactly," Chris replied, his smirk widening, "That's why you're a loser."

"Fuck you," I laughed before he joined me, the two of us continuing with the light banter and teasing as he drove us down the dark road. It was quite dark, the clear sky allowing me to gaze upon the black ocean filled with stars as I looked out of the window. After a moment I decided to speak up,

"Say, how is Sam doing? I know what she's doing, but I think I never asked how she is actually doing."

"Oh, uhm, well," Chris stammered, seemingly hesitant about the topic, "She's busy, you know. Has a lot of problems lately, since you've been gone."

"Like?" I pressed further, suddenly intrigued by the feline's vague answers. He was hiding something, and I only got more curious as Chris was obviously evading a clear answer. After a moment the feline sighed,

"I can't tell, Jay. It's not my place to say."

Realizing that it must have been a rather sensitive topic, I decided to drop the issue as I turned back to stare into the darkness outside of the truck. My thoughts began to wander towards the hyena as I wondered what kind of problems Chris was talking about. She was busy at City Hall, that's all he knew. He knew that she wanted to run for mayor one day. So maybe she had some problems getting into politics? Just like foxes and weasels, it was rather difficult for hyenas to gain a good reputation. Maybe she had problems with the prejudice she was receiving due to her species? Wouldn't be the first time, so that's probably it.

As I thought about Sam's issues, I noticed the truck slowing down as we parked the car a few yards away from a gigantic mansion up the hill, the building illuminated brightly by what seemed like hundreds of lights as jazz music blared through the air. I could see mammals milling around the area, mostly prey dressed in rather fancy clothes, tuxedos and cocktail dresses. There were also a few predators, but only a few. But where was the party? This wasn't a party, this was a gala!

"Uhm, Chris? Where the fuck is the party?"

"What do you mean? You're looking at it," Chris answered as he unfastened his seatbelt before bending over the middle console, seemingly looking for something on the backseat as I spoke up,

"That's not a party! That's a fucking gala! Full of rich prey at that! What the hell are we doing here Chris?"

My eyes widened as the snow leopard returned to his seat, seemingly having found what he was looking for as he threw me some clothes into my lap. Quickly unwrapping them, I realized that it was a rather cheap looking tuxedo.

"We're here for a good time, that's what," he replied as he pulled off his shirt before starting to dress himself, "Now put on the tux, we're sneaking in."

"What?! No, what the hell is going on, Chris?" I was beyond befuddled as I watched the feline putting on his jacket, the tux fitting him rather well. Chris just turned to look at me dumbfoundedly,

"Are you serious? We're crashing this party, isn't it obvious?"

"Wha- no! No, I'm not doing this!" I exclaimed, throwing the tux back at the feline.

"Oh, come on Jay, don't be like that," Chris said as he was about to put on a bowtie, "This will be fun! Trust me, it's going to be just like the old times! Do you remember?"

I felt unsure about the situation. While Chris was definitely right that the times we used to crash parties was absolutely fun, I was still reluctant to crash this kind of party. This gala was full of rich prey and I was sure that they had dozens of security mammals. This was insane. But while I was unsure about the situation, I didn't exactly want to let Chris go alone. After not seeing him for such a long time, I really wanted to do something fun with him, and now here I was, sitting in a car with him and about to crash a party full of rich and self-entitled prey. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad at all…

"Fine," I grunted as I grabbed the tux, already pulling off my sweater and shirt, "This will better be good."

"Yes! I knew I could count on you," Chris gushed before he put on the last finishing touches on his tux. We exited the truck after the both of us decided that we looked good enough to blend into the crowd. I had to admit that we looked rather dashing, even though the tuxedos seemed rather cheap, they were surprisingly pristine. I didn't exactly want to know how Chris got them, so I decided to remain silent as we walked towards the mansion, the music and the sounds of mammals chatting and laughing getting louder as we got closer. I could feel my palms getting sweaty and my heart racing as we arrived the front door of the mansion. This was risky as hell. I knew if we were caught, then it would mean huge trouble for either of us. My mom would kill me if she knew what I was doing.

"Stop worrying so much," Chris spoke up from beside me as I turned my head, "I can see that you're freaking out. Deep breaths, everything will be fine, just see. The front door's open, there's mammals everywhere. No one will pay us any attention. This will be a piece of cake, trust me."

I couldn't believe it, but his words actually calmed me down as we walked through the entrance. My eyes immediately widened upon seeing the luxurious interior of the mansion, my mouth agape as we walked upon marble floors while golden chandeliers sparkled like stars above our heads. Huge windows and mirrors lined the wall while several humongous steps were leading to the second floor of the estate. Sharply dressed mammals were walking around the mansion, laughing and chatting gregariously as they sipped on their glasses of champagne. I wasn't sure how I should feel surrounded by so much luxury. It was insane. How could there be such rich mammals, having their time of their lives and living in absolute abundance, while there were literally hundreds of homeless mammals dying on the streets? It was bewildering to me as we swiftly crossed the lobby and entered what seemed like the ball room. A grand piano stood in the far corner of the room a stunningly dressed gazelle played an enchanting tune, the mammals around her watching her play with blissful expressions. Rows upon rows of food on tables were lined up on the other side, expensive and exotic dishes I've never seen before. My eyes lighted up as soon as they fell upon a pyramid made out of champagne glasses and I was relieved as I realized that Chris was steering right towards the buffet.

"Look at all this stuff," Chris gushed in a low tone as the two of us gazed upon the onslaught of delicacies, "God, I knew this would be a great idea! I don't know about you, man, but I'm digging in!"

Immediately the snow leopard grabbed a plate before scooping up any and every single niblet he could reach. I couldn't help but laugh as I watched him eating as if he was completely famished, the snow leopard seemingly having forgotten that we were in fact at a gala as he frantically ate,

"Chris!" I hissed as I tried to suppress a fit of laughter, "Slow down, man! Mammals are looking!"

Immediately stopping, the feline slowly turned around as he saw that mammals were in fact watching him in bewilderment, the feline staring back at them with a mouthful food. Swallowing down what he had shoved into him, Chris quickly straightened himself before clearing his throat. I could barely contain my laughter as he flashed a toothy smile before turning around to face me,

"Man, didn't know having fun was a crime. What do think how big it is?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, raising a quizzical brow upon his question.

"I'm talking about the sticks up their asses. Judging by their reactions it must be a damn tree trunk," he huffed before the two of us bursted out in laughter. Wiping a tear from his eye the feline looked around the room before he spoke up,

"Hey, look, I gotta pee real quick. You just stay here and wait, alright? Who knows, maybe I can steal some expensive soap or something."

"Yeah, do that," I chuckled before Chris left. My eyes followed him amusedly until his swishing tail disappeared around the corner. Turning back to stare into the crowd, I realized that the mammals have started to mill around in the center of the room, the gazelle at the piano playing a rather upbeat song as the mammals started to dance gleefully. Leaning against the table, I started to glance around the room, my heart beating rather fast as I noticed that mammals were starting to look at me strangely. There were whispers, there were dirty looks, all kinds of things to unsettle me as I tried to look away as if I wasn't paying attention. I was used to being treated like this because of my looks. To be a maned wolf included being treated like a shifty fox, while my size could be pretty intimidating as I was almost as tall as a wolf. That's just the way it was.

I carefully took a glass from the pyramid before I started to sip on the beverage. Immediately my body relaxed as the alcohol entered my system, heat rushing through my body as I let out a sigh of relief. I wasn't an alcoholic or anything, but I just tended to drink when I was out. It had always been difficult for me to open up to mammals, and alcohol was a good way for me to loosen up. Relishing the bubbly drink, I failed to notice a mammal nearing me until they were standing right beside me as they spoke up,

"Pretty lame, huh?"

The voice pulling me out of my thoughts, I turned around to look at the mammal and I was rather surprised to see a bunny. Her fur was jet black and was accentuated nicely by her form fitting blue dress that matched her vibrant sapphire eyes. She was holding a glass of champagne as she twirled it lightly in her paws, her eyes lazily roaming the room as she was seemingly waiting for an answer. It was unusual for prey to approach me, and I wasn't sure what to do. After shaking off the initial surprise, I answered slowly,

"Uhm, yeah. Sure." I tore my eyes away from the bunny, continuing to stare into the dancing crowd. I didn't exactly feel comfortable talking to prey, especially bunnies since they were in my opinion the worst aside from sheep. Most of them were arrogant and close-minded. I knew not all of them were, Judy Hopps from precinct one being a posterchild for being an open minded individual, as she had proven herself about five years ago during this whole Bellwether thing. But she was an exception. A huge exception. The bunnies I have actually met personally, were self-entitled and bigoted speciests who didn't give a damn about what was happening to predators.

But I didn't want to be rude and draw attention to myself, so I decided to play along and talk to her. The least I could do was to seem inconspicuous, right?

"You alone here?"

The bunny glanced at me from the corner of her eye before a smirk spread onto her lips,

"Why do you ask? You wanna ask me out or something?"

"Wha- no! What the hell?! No, I'm n- not trying to ask you out!" I stammered as I spun around to glare at her, almost spilling the content of my glass. My hackles raised just at the thought of what she was insinuating and I had to suppress a gag as pictures appeared in my mind. I frowned as the bunny suddenly bursted out in laughter, bending over as she held onto her stomach, the content of her glass spilling onto the floor as she continued to giggle,

"God, calm down!" she chuckled before looking at me mischievously, "I was just kidding, no need to piss your pants."

"Har har, very funny," I retorted before turning back towards the crowd as I took a sip from my glass, still frowning.

"To answer your question," she continued with a smile, "No, I'm here with my parents. They kinda forced me to come along, you know? I actually hate these kinds of parties, they're boring and dull. The mammals here are so full of themselves, ugh. At least they have alcohol."

She took another sip from her glass as I replied, my voice still tense from her joke,

"What, not enjoying the sweet life?"

"Pfft, sweet my ass," she huffed, "I hate this kind of life. It's boring and annoying to be always surrounded by mammals you can't possibly get along with. All they do is talk about work, about business, about their oh so exhausting life while they're wallowing in money. It's sickening."

"Oh, that must be so bad," I retorted, my voice laced with sarcasm as I tightened my grip around my glass. It infuriated me to no end to listen to these kinds of mammals, rich and self-entitled, thinking they have it so bad while mammals like my mom have to work their asses off just to barely get by, "To have everything you ever wanted handed to you on a silver platter and never having to worry about if you have money left for the next month. Yeah, sounds real bad to me."

Much to my satisfaction, her smile dropped and she began to glare at me, frowning as she crossed her arms before turning to face me,

"Hey, I didn't choose to be born into this life, alright?"

"And I didn't choose to be poor! You think you have a bad life? You think your biggest problem is being bored?! Now listen here, I'll tell ya what real problems are, alright? My mom works two jobs, works her damn tail off just to keep a roof above our heads and food on the table since the bastards of a father left us for no other reason because he stopped loving us. Everyday I try to pay her back what she has done for me, but my sorry ass keeps spending money on college tuition and therapy sessions, because I'm that fucked up! So your life might be boring, _Fluff_ , but at least you're not living at the brink of extinction, so be thankful for that. Now hop along and leave me alone."

I spun back towards the crowd, not sparing her a second glance as I continued to glare angrily at nothing in particular. I noticed how my paws were trembling. I was barely able to hold the glass still as I almost spilled the content. Clenching my eyes shut, I silently counted down, trying to calm my nerves as I focussed on nothing but the soothing melody of the grand piano. It happened again, I got heated and lost control. I felt how I my claws were slightly exposed, my hackles raised, my tail bristled. Clenching my teeth, I slowly exhaled through my nose as I felt my body relaxing, slightly calming down as I opened my eyes before staring blankly at the floor. I could feel the bunny beside me, I knew she was still there and started to wonder why the hell she was still here. I was about to speak up and voice my question as another familiar voice interrupted my actions,

"Jay! Jay, we gotta get out of here, real quick!"

A familiar snow leopard was running squarely into my direction, eyes frantically darting around as he was hugging himself. Immediately red flags were raised inside my head as I turned towards him,

"Chris! What's wrong? What happened?"

His arms wrapped around himself, he came to a stop in front of me, slightly panting as he spoke panickedly,

"Okay, so I was in the bathroom, I was looking for something to… to.."

The feline's words died in his throat as he glanced beside me, his eyes falling upon the black furred bunny as his eyes widened, before he stammered, "..uhm… to.. something to eat! Yes, something to eat. In the bathroom..."

He turned back towards me before he grabbed my paw, pulling me away from the befuddled bunny, much to my relief. I couldn't stand staying there for even another second. Just the thought of the bunny infuriated me. But I tried to pull my thoughts away from her as I focussed on my frantic friend,

"Okay, we gotta get out of here," Chris whispered, his eyes darting around as if he was looking for something.

"Will you tell me what the hell you've done?" I asked, until it finally dawned unto me. "Oh my God. What have you stolen?"

"Uhm…" he hesitated, his voice slightly pitching, "One.. or two.. spoons?"

I just stared at him deadpanned, "Chris. How much?"

"Alright alright! Maybe the whole silverware I could find, but that's not important!" He began to pull me further towards the door, his eyes darting frantically around as he hissed, "We need to go, now!"

I rolled my eyes before the two of us began to stride quickly towards the exit, but stopped dead in our tracks, eyes widening and heart leaping as seemingly dozens of security mammals started to fill the room. One of them, a broad shouldered ram, recognized us and exclaimed a deafening, "Halt!", before they started to move.

"Fuck," Chris cursed before the two of us quickly spun on our heels and dashed towards the glass doors leading to the balcony. Fortunately, the balcony wasn't very high above the ground, allowing us to swiftly jump over the rails and continue our run through the garden area. Mammals yelped and shrieked of surprise as the two of us dashed through the crowd, frantically trying to get rid off the relentless security mammals. I shoved and pushed, didn't care about casualties as I ran as fast as possible. Glasses and plates were shattered, mammals were screaming, panic was erupting. It was great.

My heart raced, my lungs were struggling for air, and my legs burned. Glancing over my shoulder, I realized much to my relief that we have managed to run quite a distance already, the security mammals several dozen yards behind us and the distance between us growing rapidly as we entered the forest. But the two of us didn't stop running as we raced through the woods until the sounds behind us completely died down, replaced by utter silence. I didn't know how long we have been running but after we were completely surrounded by darkness and trees, the sounds around us only consisting of chirping crickets and rustling leaves, the two of us finally came to a stop. Putting our paws onto our knees we panted heavily as we struggled to breath. I swore my heart was threatening to burst out of my chest as I let out a groan,

"You... fucking idiot," I huffed in between gasps for air, "why did you… have to…. steal their silverware?!"

"It was funny, wasn't it? Besides, they're filthy rich. Surely they can donate some of it to needy students, right?" Chris wheezed as he smiled sheepishly. I just stared at him for a moment before I couldn't help but to smile.

"I hate you," I chuckled, the snow leopard soon joining me as the two of us bursted into laughter in the middle of the dark forest with nothing but the stars above us to witness our insane escape. I hated to admit it, but I actually had fun. The adrenaline, the rush of excitement as we had been running away from these snobs. The feeling that coursed through my body as we jumped and pushed our way through the crowds. It was amazing. I felt truly free. But as the euphoria slowly settled and calmed down, I started to glance around us. I could see trees, bushes, undergrowth. Darkness.

I had no idea where we were.

"Uhm, Chris?" I spoke up, the snow leopard turning to me, "Where the hell are we?"

Chris started to look around as well, his ears swiveling around as he tried to pick up any sounds that might indicate where we were. Maybe a river, or mammals, or a highway. I soon joined him as the two of us stood in the dark, trying to figure out our location. Much to my dismay, I couldn't make out anything. We were in the middle of nothing.

"No idea," Chris spoke up after a while, before he turned his head up to stare at the clear night sky, the stars shining brightly due to the lack of light pollution, "You remember the stories we used to learn about in history class? About how predators used to look at the constellations and stars in order to find their way to the north?"

"When preds were enslaved? Yeah, how can I forget that?" I scoffed as I remembered the history lessons. Way back, when the Dark Ages haven't been too long ago, when prey used to enslave predators. It had been a horrible age, predators had been restrained with collars, shocking them whenever their adrenaline levels rose. It was cruel and barbaric. Every predator knew of the former slave and abolitionist Frederick Clawson who had freed the slaves and led them to the north where they could live freely. With the help of the northstar, the Polaris, he led them into freedom. It was the brightest star visible from the northern hemisphere, and was a part of the constellation Little Dipper. Looking up at the stars, I soon found said constellation before finding the bright sparkling Polaris, pointing into the direction we needed to go.

The two of us wordlessly started to walk through the forest, the dead leaves on the ground crunching under our feet as we treaded through the undergrowth, our eyes occasionally glancing upwards to make sure we were on the right track.

"Crazy night, huh?" Chris spoke up after a while as he proceeded to loosen up his bowtie. My head turning towards him, I just curtly nodded before responding,

"Well, thanks to you," I lightly chuckled, to which Chris just scoffed amusedly.

"Who was that bunny talking to you earlier, by the way?" he then asked as we were about to round a fallen tree that blocked the path.

"No idea," I curtly answered, shrugging as I remembered the black furred bunny, "Never asked for her name."

"Probably some snob, trying to boast about her wealth," Chris chuckled as he nudged me with his elbow, "They're all the same. Always in some kind of competition about who's the richest."

"Yeah, you know, befo-" I was about to add before a rather loud rustle nearby caused the two of us to stop dead in our tracks, immediately falling silent as we stared into the direction of the noise. My heart started to pick up a pace as I remembered the last night, the message, the very same rustle in the woods. I really wanted to brush it off, that it was probably just the wind.

But it was completely windless.

"What the fuck was that?" Chris whispered, his ears swiveling around as he stared at me with wide eyes. I started to sniff the air. Again, nothing.

"I… I don't know. Maybe we should find out," I suggested as I already moved into the direction of the sound. Ignoring the protests of the feline, I stepped closer towards where I believed the source of the sound was. The rustling of course had stopped as soon as we had stopped, and again I had no idea who it might have been. I could feel Chris following closely behind me, though reluctantly he still stayed rather close, not that I would have complained. Soon we rounded a rather thick tree, revealing something that could have been taken straight out of a horror movie, something that raised hundreds of red flags and caused me to stop dead in my track as soon as I realized what we have stumbled upon;

An abandoned shack in the woods.

"Oh of course, that's absolutely not creepy at all," Chris hissed as he stepped up beside me. It looked completely rundown and dilapidated, the roof having already collapsed as a huge hole gaped in between the wooden boards. The grimy windows were broken and destroyed, nothing I could see was intact. It was completely ransacked. But as I began to step closer to the remnants of the building, an unsettling feeling started to creep up my spine, as if I was entering a zone I wasn't supposed to be in. Something sinister was going on here, and I wasn't sure what it was. All I knew was that we weren't welcome here.

But even though I felt like this place was most likely haunted, I decided out of whatever reason my idiotic brain came up with to investigate the shack. I knew this was beyond stupid. If this would have been a horror movie, I would have been the first one to die horribly while Chris would be the one to run away like a coward to tell the tale of how fucking stupid I was.

I knew Chris and Sam would probably kill me for being this dumb, but nonetheless I stepped closer and closer until I reached the door, or what was left of the door. A slight push, and the wooden piece swung inwards as the rusty hinges squeaked eerily. If there would have been a contest for horror clichés, this shack would have won it all.

"Jay, I don't think this is a good idea," Chris whispered, his voice slightly trembling. I could hear that his voice was pretty close, and I had to do my best to appear unmoved by the growing unease as we entered the shack.

"I absolutely agree. But we've already done one stupid thing tonight. Why stop there when we can do Stupid Thing Nr. 2?" I retorted, the two of us walking deeper into the shack. It was even worse from the inside. There was trash, debris, wood, and God-knows-what dispersed all over the place. I wasn't even sure if there were any floorboards as I walked further into the room. It was insanely dark and I started to dig through my pockets, looking for my phone until I turned on the flashlight. Squinting my eyes from the sudden light, I started to look around. I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for, but I knew there was something here. I couldn't really pinpoint the feeling, but I felt like something was calling out to me. Something wanted to be found.

"Jay!" Chris suddenly called from somewhere behind me. Jerking up I turned around to regard the feline. I hadn't noticed that he had walked away while I had been looking for my phone. Chris was standing in the far corner, seemingly having found something as he had turned on his own flashlight. He was pointing as something on the ground as he crouched down.

"I think I've found something," he added as I walked over to him, careful not to step onto some of the debris. As soon as I neared the feline, I could immediately see what he had found.

It was a necklace with a heart shaped locket. It wasn't the object per se that caused me to pick it up as I frowned deep in thought. It was the condition of it. Looking back around the room, my suspicions seemed to be confirmed.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Chris asked as he stared at the necklace in my paws.

"Have you noticed how fucked up this shack is? I mean, look at this," I pointed at the debris and collapsed roof, "It's completely ransacked. As if no one had been here for the last ten years."

"And?" Chris asked with a quizzical brow. I turned back at him as I answered,

"This necklace is in absolute pristine condition. Not a single speckle of rust. Whoever had been here, lost this not too long ag-"

I was suddenly interrupted as a flooding bright light shone through the broken windows, blinding me and Chris as my heart leapt into my throat, almost causing me to drop the necklace.

"What th-" Chris grunted as he tried to shield himself from the light, holding up his paw in front of his eyes.

 _"This is the ZPD! Please step out of the building with your paws over your head,"_ a voice outside of the shack echoed through the air, and the both of us turned to each other with eyes wide like saucers.

"Shit," Chris cursed under his breath. Not seeing another way out of this, I sighed and put the necklace into my pocket before leading the feline towards the door.

"Seems like the game's over," I chuckled as the two of us exited the building with our paws raised, squinting our eyes as a blinding light shone directly into our faces. After a second the lights turned off and I had to blink a couple times in order to see something. As I was finally able to see clearly again, I stared into the smirking faces of two red foxes in police gear, one of them I had seen several times over the years, either in the news or the paper.

"Looks like we've got our culprits, right Officer Corsac?" one of the foxes said to his partner, a broad smirk on his face as he regarded us with his emerald eyes. The other younger fox just smiled as he answered in a just as cocky voice,

"That we have, Officer Wilde."

I was definitely fucked.


	4. Tit For Tat

_"I'm hopin' that I can borrow_

_A piece of mind, I'm behind on what's really important"_

-o-

I wasn't sure what was worse. To sit in this police cruiser, cuffs on my paws and basically being treated like a criminal, waiting for whatever punishment the Zootopian justice system would think was appropriate for stealing silverware, or the fact that my mom would most likely kill me by kicking my ass to the moon and back for being arrested. The worst part wasn't even the fact that we were arrested for petty theft. No, the worst part was that I was being arrested for something Chris did. Just because he had to be a dumbass and give in to his kleptomania, I now had to sit with him in the back of this cruiser.

"You think we gonna get mugshots?" Chris asked as he turned to me with a toothy smile, seemingly unaffected by what was transpiring. My eye twitching, I suddenly felt the urge to just grab his head and slam it a couple times against the mesh cage that was separating us from the two vulpine officers. Luckily for the feline, my paws were just as cuffed as his, and I chose ignore his question as I leaned back into the incredibly uncomfortable vinyl seat and I closed my eyes. This day couldn't get any worse.

"Dispatch, this is cruiser 311," the younger fox on the passenger seat began to talk into his radio, "We have the culprits, one male snow leopard and one male… uh.. fox?"

Okay, now they were definitely trying me.

"He's not a fox, Taron," the other fox chuckled as he kept his eyes on the road, an amused sparkle in his emeralds, "He's a maned wolf. Got longer ears and limbs, see?"

Turning around, the younger fox began to look me over, his curious hazel eyes giving me a quick once-over before he shrugged it off, turning back to stare straight ahead. It wasn't unusual for mammals to mistake me as an above-average fox who just happened to be slightly taller. At this point it didn't cause my blood to boil anymore, but it was still annoying as hell. Trying to ignore the onslaught of attacks on my nerves, I again turned my head towards the window as I watched the city passing me by. The many colorful lights of Zootopia at night were rushing by like a blur, the traffic lights, the shops and restaurants that were still open, the billboards and ads. The city never slept, and now I could really witness how alive Zootopia actually was, even at this time of the day. While Deerbrook could be considered a major city, it wasn't quite as a metropolis like Zootopia. So it had been to no surprise that I was beyond bored living there for a couple years. It was wonderful to see a whole city glowing up at night as if it was a breathing creature, the lights and mammals pulsating like blood inside the veins and arteries that were the streets, keeping the heart and spirit of the city I loved and hated alive.

As I was mulling over the nightlife, my eyes trained onto the streets outside of the cruiser, my ears perked up upon hearing the snow leopard beside me speaking up. It seemed like the constant silence was starting to get to Chris, so he decided to break the silence in the only way he knew; inappropriately.

"Hey copper, where's your partner? The bunny? I thought you were supposed to be partnered with her and not him."

Turning my head slightly, I could see Officer Wilde glaring at Chris through the inside mirror before he flickered his eyes back towards the road. His voice was tense and his answer curt,

"I don't think it's any of your business, Spots."

Chris just scoffed as he leaned back into his seat, a smirk on his lips as he continued in a taunting voice,

"Well, wherever she is, I'm glad she ain't here. Would ruin this whole night to be arrested by damn prey."

"Chris!" I hissed, spinning around to glare at my friend. It was actually quite usual for Chris to talk in such a disrespectful manner to other mammals, but this was the police. He could get in serious trouble if he would happen to say the wrong words. And if my judgement was anything to go by, then he was on very thin eyes. Turning my head back to the front, I tried to defuse the situation as I apologized,

"I'm sorry, Officer. He didn't mean it like that, right?" I hissed the last word through my teeth as I looked at Chris. The snow leopard just shrugged. It was infuriating.

"Don't worry about, kiddo," Wilde waved it off, his eyes still trained onto the road as he drove through the streets, the cruiser slowing to a halt as it neared a red light.

"Carrots can be a buzzkill sometimes, ain't that right Taron?"

"I'd rather not answer that, Sir," Taron answered tersely, the fox slumping in his seat as he leaned his arm on the door, his paw supporting his chin. The younger fox was lazily staring out the window, his body movement rather slacky for a police officer. While Officer Wilde was rather relaxed as well, he managed to do it with some kind of professional swagger, the fox appearing casual yet firm. It didn't take a genius to see that Taron was obviously Officer Wilde's protégé of some kind, being a temporary partner while Officer Hopps was gone. Well, where she was, that was another story.

My eyes started to unconsciously roam the interior of the cruiser and Officer Wilde's body and clothes. Putting a few pieces together through the method of selection, it took me a couple minutes before it finally clicked.

"She's on maternity leave."

Apparently I had said it out loud, as all three mammals inside the cruiser suddenly turned their heads to stare at me curiously.

"What?" Chris asked beside me, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"She's pregnant. Officer Hopps is pregnant, that's why she's gone."

The cruiser came to a halt at another red light.

"How the heck do you know?" Wilde slowly asked, his stunned expression slowly morphing into a frown as he glared at me through the mirror. Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I regarded the older fox as I stammered,

"W- Well, you just.. uhm.. confirmed it to me."

Seeing the still confused looks from the mammals in the cruiser, my embarrassed mind suddenly decided to just ramble, my tongue soon not obeying me anymore as I continued to talk,

"Uhm.. you see, there are only.. so many probable reasons for her absence. The only things I can think of that aren't too crazy are; she either left you.. she was fired.. or she is on paid leave or the likes.

"Y- You still have the wedding band on your paw. And judging by her... scent... all over you, you two must still be together. So it must be something work related. She couldn't possibly be fired, as otherwise it would be all over the news, you know, firing the first bunny cop and so on… uhm.. so she must be on paid leave or anything like that."

"And how are you so sure she isn't just home because she messed something up?" Wilde asked as he continued to drive, the traffic light having turned green. I could still feel the palpable tension growing inside the cruiser as I continued to talk, but somehow I just decided to ramble on,

"If she had messed up, you most likely wouldn't have accepted another partner, judging by how close you two are," I retorted. The story of how Officer Wilde and Officer Hopps came together through the Bellwether case a few years back was widely known in Zootopia. Everyone knew of it, it was considered general knowledge at this point.

"So you choosing a partner, Officer.. uh.."

"Corsac... Officer Corsac," the younger fox answered flatly, his mouth slightly agape and hazel eyes wide as he had been listening to my deductions. Clearing my throat embarrassedly, I continued,

"Yeah, Officer Corsac. Uhm.. you choosing Officer Corsac as a new partner for most likely a longer time span, together with everything I've said before, implies that Officer Hopps is probably on maternity leave… Uhm, congrats," I added meekly, my ears flat on my head as I stared at the three mammals. I could feel the heat rushing into my face and ears as I could feel the look Chris was giving me from the corner of my eyes. To say he looked overwhelmed would be an understatement.

"How is that even possible?" Chris spoke up from beside me, a quizzical and disgusted expression on his face, "He's a fox and she a bunny! That's not even possible!"

"Probably by a donor, you know?" I answered, "Someone donors the se-"

"Okay, I got it! Don't have to tell me all the details, alright?" Chris exclaimed before he acted as if he was about to throw up, the feline choking a few times to emphasize his point. I swiftly kicked him in the shin, causing the feline to stop before a throat clearing caused us to look at the older fox in the driver's seat.

"Huh," Wilde huffed from the driver's seat as the cruiser steadily neared the police station, "Impressive, you ever thought of a career as a detective?"

The two foxes in the front seat chuckled lightly as we came to an halt in the ZPD parking lot. I was squirming uneasily in my seat at this point as I tried to evade any eye contact. The two of us waited patiently in the backseat as the two officers exited the car and opened the backdoors, helping us out of the cruiser before they began to lead us towards the precinct. Chris and I weren't resisting much as we walked in front of the foxes, so there wasn't any need for force, the four of us walking lazily towards the front desk of the ZPD

I had only been a few times inside the precinct, some times as a visitor, some couple more times as a 'misleaded youth' as they would like to call it. But no matter how many times I entered the building, I couldn't help but to be impressed and look around in awe, my eyes taking in any and every detail of the interior which was built and decorated to appropriately resemble the savannah.

"That's fucked up," Chris suddenly spoke up from beside me, causing me to avert my attention towards the feline as I raised a questioning brow,

"What is?" I asked, my eyes occasionally glancing at the two police officers behind us. I wasn't sure if we were even allowed to talk, but it was rather late and it didn't seem like Wilde and Corsac were minding it at all, so I perked my ears as Chris continued in a discontent voice,

"Him being with a bunny," he hissed, throwing Wilde a glare the fox reciprocated, "It's wrong, and unnatural."

I frowned upon hearing my friends comment. It was well known among us that Chris held rather strong resentment against prey mammals due to his past. He didn't like to spend time with them, he tended to outright judge them based on their species, and once in a while something extremely insulting escapes his mouth. I didn't exactly agree with the way Chris tends to express his feelings, but I understood. I didn't condone it, but I understood.

"There's nothing wrong with that, Chris," I whispered, trying to appease the snow leopard as we came to a halt in front of the front desk, a rather big-boned cheetah greeting the officers in an annoyingly bubbly voice as they proceeded to put us into the system. I chose to ignore their conversation as I focussed on my friend.

"Interspecies relationships ain't illegal, you know that right?"

"That doesn't make it any less disgusting than it already is! I don't understand how such a thing can work, they're pred and prey! They shouldn't even be able to get along with each other!" Chris hissed, slowly growing angrier as he continued to talk. My frown deepened as I regarded my friend with a concerned expression. Chris had always been hateful towards prey, but never to this extent. It was obvious that his resentment got worse during my time in college, and I started to seriously worry about my friend. He couldn't continue to live like this, filled with hate and anger. I should know.

I was about to speak up again, but I was interrupted as Wilde and Corsac shoved us into the direction of where I presumed the cells were. Throwing Chris another worried look, I realized that the feline wasn't paying attention, the snow leopard staring at the ground as we walked. The four of us remained silent as we walked down the hallway until we arrived the cells, the rather spacious room completely empty. Blank walls, gray concrete, metal bars, and freezing air. Exactly what I expected from a prison cell. Without another word, Corsac opened one of the cells before we silently walked in. I squarely strode towards the bench attached to the wall before I sat down, Chris soon followed suit before he seated himself beside me with a sigh as he proceeded to glare at the two vulpine officers who were leaving the room. With a loud bang the door shut close, and it was just Chris and me.

My mind started to wander as I sat in the cramped cell with my best friend, wondering how long we would have to sit here, what my mom would do with me, and why the cells were so damn cold. But what really unsettled me, was Chris' situation. His resentment had worsened over the time, and while I could understand his hate, I couldn't let this escalate into something worse. It was once thing to dislike something out of personal experience. But it was another thing to right out hate and discriminate. Don't get me wrong, I didn't like prey either. But that's it. I didn't condemn them and sure as hell didn't have a problem with interspecies relationships. I wouldn't get into one myself personally, but what a mammal does in their private lives is their business, not mine.

"Chris," I spoke up after a moment of consideration, choosing my words carefully as I spoke, "You told me yesterday that you want to expand your horizon, that you want to see the world and be yourself."

The snow leopard's ears perked before he turned his head, glancing at me with a curious expression before he spoke up, "Where is this going, Jay?"

I let out a weary sigh as I continued, my fingers fiddling around with my shirt, "What I mean to tell you is, that if you want to expand your horizon, doesn't that include opening up your mind? All of this.. hate against prey. It has to stop somewhere, don't you think?"

The feline's expression hardened considerably as he retorted with a rather tense voice, causing me to regret my words immediately, "I am open minded, Jay. That's why I don't like them. You know exactly that my hate towards them isn't unfounded, I have all the reason to hate them. And you know that."

"And I won't tell you that it's completely unfounded, Chris," I tried to appease him, "It's just.. ugh... All of this hate won't do any good. You can dislike and them judge them silently behind their backs for all I care, but... don't take your anger out on mammals who didn't do anything wrong."

The feline averted his gaze as he glared blankly at the ground, his paws clenching as he fidgeted in his seat. After a moment he let out a sigh before he dragged his paw across his face before throwing me a weary yet amused smile,

"Alright, alright," he huffed, "If it makes you any happier, I won't insult them... openly at least. But," he raised a paw as I was about to respond, stopping me dead in my tracks as he regarded me, "I won't stop hating them. They deserve the wrath or Christopher Ayers."

I smiled upon feeling the tension dissipating into the cold air as my body relaxed, breathing out a light chuckle as I shook my head, "Yeah, I'm sure all of them are literally quivering in terror upon seeing a five foot snow leopard."

"Rightly so," he chuckled, me soon joining him as we sat inside the empty cold cell. It was strange. While sitting in this freezing cell, surrounded by nothing but cold and blank concrete walls while being incarcerated for something I didn't do, I realized I wasn't sad or devastated or anything like that. Maybe slightly annoyed, but I wasn't angry. As I continued to chat with my best friend about trivial things, as I joked with him about dumb stuff only he could come up with, as we laughed and teased each other, I realized that this was the happiest I had ever been since I had left for college. Hours after hours passed, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Man," Chris laughed after a while, "I can't believe we've been caught. Usually I'm better with this kind of stuff."

"You really shouldn't talk so loud about your past crimes," I chuckled, nudging him with my elbow as I leaned my head back against the wall, "They might want to keep you a little longer if they realize what a criminal you really are. You remember the time you stole Mrs. Hoover's car?"

"Oh, please," Chris huffed, "I merely borrowed it for a few hours. Really, she was absolutely overreacting for calling the cops."

"You stole her fucking car and smashed the window," I chuckled. He just scoffed and shrugged as he threw me an amused look,

"It was an emergency, alright?"

"You just needed a ride to a party, how is that an emergency?"

"Well, our Friday night was at stake, duh! If I hadn't stolen her car, we wouldn't have had the best night of our lives!"

"So you admit that you stole it?"

"... shut up."

The two of us barked a laugh as we started to reminisce all the times we got ourselves into dumb shit. It was always the same thing; Chris would have a dumbass idea, I would join him because why the fuck not, and Sam would beat our asses for getting ourselves in trouble. As Chris and me continued to talk, we were suddenly interrupted as the doors opened up again, the two vulpine officers entering the room before Corsac wordlessly unlocked the cell door.

"Alright, you two," Wilde spoke up, a smug expression on his face as he stared lazily at us, "You're free to go, someone's paid your bail and waits outside to pick you up. Now go."

Waving towards the door, the foxes gave us amused smiles as the two of us slowly got up from the bench before walking out the cell. To say the two of us were surprised would be an understatement. I wasn't sure who was waiting out there, but I was praying to any higher power up there that it wasn't my mother. It was bad enough if she would hear about me being arrested. But if the poor lady was forced to pick me up from jail, all hell would break loose.

Exiting the cell, the two of us mumbled a quick thank you before we steered towards the doors, passing by the two police officers as I tried not to look them into their eyes. I mentally kicked myself for acting as if I was hiding something and forced myself to act normal as I followed Chris out the room, before a dark furred paw on my shoulder stopped me dead in my tracks, my hackles raising and tail bristling as I glanced over my shoulder nervously, looking into the amused half-lidded stare of Officer Wilde. He looked past me and nodded at Corsac, who understood what he was trying to say, the younger fox swiftly leading Chris out the room until it was only me and Officer Wilde. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I couldn't say by my life why he wanted to talk with me in private. Turning around, I regarded the smaller mammal as he spoke up.

"I wasn't kidding earlier, you know," Wilde began, "With you and being a detective. It takes quite the observation skills to pull off what you did back there. Heck, I've been training Taron for more than four months now and he isn't half as astute as you."

I raised a quizzical brow and stared at him blankly as he continued,

"I saw your file, Jay," his smile slightly faltered as he regarded me. I immediately tensed as I understood, as I realized what he might have read.

"You still seeing your therapist?" he asked softly.

I silently shook my head. He just nodded before letting out a sigh. Putting his paws on his hips he regarded me one last time with a genuine smile as he spoke up,

"You're a good kid, Jay. You and him," he said softly, "You boys shouldn't be out there doing stuff like this. At least promise me to think about what I told you about being a police officer, alright?"

"I don't know," I huffed, a flustered smile on my lips as I averted my gaze, "Not really my thing to beat up mammals and poke dead bodies.."

The fox barked a laugh before patting me on my arm, causing a smile to tug on my lips as the two of us started to move towards the door, "Boy, you really have a wrong idea of what it means to be a cop. Carrots would have a field day with you."

The two of us exited the room and began to walk side by side down the hallway, none of us saying a word as we neared the front desk.

"Think about what I've told you, alright? Now go home, your friend is probably waiting outside."

Nodding, I turned around without another word and quickly strode towards the doors. I could clearly feel the fox following me with his eyes and forced myself to move faster until I was practically bursting through the front entrance of the precinct. I wanted nothing more than to just get as far away from the precinct as possible and quickly rushed down the stairs that led down onto the streets. Heaving a sigh, I closed my eyes and steadied my breath as my mind started to wander around. I didn't really have the energy or the motivation right now to think about what Wilde had said, so I decided to think about it later. Right now I had more pressing matters, for instance as to who the mammal was who was waiting for me and Chris in the parking lot. Honestly, I was rather reluctant to find out who it was. Nonetheless, I started to move after a few moments as I walked down the streets. It didn't take long for me to see the single car parking in the lot and the mammal standing beside it. My heart leapt into my throat as I stared with wide eyes at the mammal glaring at me with the fire of thousand suns, ready to beat my fucking head into the curb and run me over with her car. I hesitantly stepped closer towards the car, my body stiff and my throat dry as I neared the female spotted hyena. She wore a rather sharp suit, white shirt and black blazer with no tie, her mane was neatly trimmed, giving her a rather professional look I was used to see on her. Just like the angry glare she gave me. She hadn't changed a bit since I had left.

And as I reached the car, seeing that Chris was already on the backseat rubbing his arm and pouting, the only thing I could do was to flash a sheepish smile as I muttered a meek,

"Hey Sam, long time no see, heh.."

-o-

"I can't believe how fucking dumb you goddamn idiots are! Who shat in your fucking brain that you have to come up with such a dumbass idea?!"

"Geez, calm down Sam. It's not that bad," Chris mumbled as he sat on the backseat, the snow leopard shrugging it off as if nothing at all happened. I could only pray for the feline for trying Sam when she was in rage mode, while I squirmed in the passenger seat. I swear I could feel the heat emanating from her body. I chose to just shut my mouth as the two of them continued to bicker,

"Don't tell me to calm down, you two were literally arrested! I was in the middle of an emergency meeting, I was busy _working_ , while you two nutjobs just had to go breaking laws! And again I am the one who has to drag your asses out of this shit just because you don't seem to have a damn brain!"

"Come on, it's not like this is the first time or anything."

"That's exactly the point! You two need to stop breaking the law every single time you get the chance! Do you know how worried I was, hearing about my two idiot friends being arrested while I was at work? What if one of you was hurt?"

"Aww, you consider us your friends? You have no idea how touched I am," Chris cooed from the backseat, putting a paw onto his chest to emphasize his point. The car suddenly came to a screeching halt, all three of us lurching forwards as Sam violently floored the brakes before turning around with a death glare, her tone dangerously low and I could swear I smelled fear in the air,

"Do you want me to kill you, Christopher? Because if the answer is yes, just open your mouth one more time and I will gladly throw you out the driving car."

The feline just nodded quietly, his eyes just as wide as mine as we stared at the furious hyena. Even though she just literally threatened to kill him, I could see the amusement in Chris' eyes. He wasn't the slightest bit afraid of her. Quite on the contrary, he found it hilarious.

Spinning back around, the hyena proceeded to continue her way down the road, the only sound being the low humming of her car as she drove us back to the mansion where Chris had left his truck. I still didn't say a single word, I didn't think it was necessary. For one, I was scared shitless of Sam, she could be one hell of a woman if she was angry. And secondly, Chris was already doing all the talking for me,

"I don't understand why you're so angry at us," the snow leopard spoke up again, his eyes trained onto the city passing by the car outside, "Those prey mammals deserved it, why do they get to live such a lavishing life while other mammals are literally dying on the streets? I don't see the problem with that?"

"Oh, so you're Robin Hood now?" Sam retorted, her voice laced with annoyance, "Just because you think they don't deserve it, which I am sure of they do, doesn't justify the fact that you stole from them. I don't want to here anything about them being prey anymore, Chris. You don't get to play the species card anymore, not every prey mammal is evil and you better get your head out of your ass before I do it myself."

Chris just scoffed as he frowned for the first time since they started this conversation. I knew if Chris would lose his temper, then shit was about to go down. I really wanted to de-escalate this situation, but was I dumb enough to interfere a fight between an unstoppable force and an immovable mountain? Hell no.

"That's where you're wrong," Chris spat, "All of them are terrible mammals. They think of themselves so highly they don't give a shit about the mammals down here. They're selfish and prejudiced! Who gives them the right to claim they're afraid of us? I didn't choose to have claws and fangs! Why is considered okay for them to lynch us predators just because we're _scary_ , but when I steal one or two damn forks it's the fucking apocalypse?! They're all evil, it's what they deserve!""

The snow leopard grew angrier by the end of his rant, he was practically panting as he glared at the hyena from the backseat, seemingly forgetting about me as I watched the two of them. I glanced over to Sam to gauge her reaction. The hyena just let out an exasperated sigh as she slowed the car down to a halt as we neared a red light. Her paws resting on the steering wheel, she seemed to be collecting herself for a few seconds before she turned her head, speaking in a soft voice over her shoulders,

"No they're not, Chris. And sooner or later, you have to come to terms with the reality that you can't just label a whole branch of organism for the fault of one prey. That's not how the world works."

"Well, then I don't want to live in such a world any longer. See ya later," the snow leopard spat angrily before he opened the door, exiting the car in a rush and slamming the door closed, causing me to flinch slightly as Sam and I watched the angry feline walking down the road. I was about to reach out to him, but a brown furred paw caused me to halt and turn around to regard the hyena's sad expression,

"Let him, go. He'll be fine," she said softly before she slowly continued to drive, the small form of Chris disappearing in the distance.

"I'm sorry you had to watch this," Sam spoke up after a while, glancing at me from the corner of her eyes. I just uttered a meek, "It's fine," before I turned back around to stare at the passing lights of Zootopia at night. The never sleeping city suddenly appeared colder than before, the colors duller and the spirit dissipating..

"It's just... I don't know what to do with Chris anymore," Sam continued, her voice growing desperate as she continued to ramble, "Ever since you have left it's gotten worse. And now that you're back... it's probably getting even worse than before.."

"Why do you think that?" I asked, raising an intrigued brow as I heard about this. It was news to me hearing about Chris' habit worsening during my absence, but hearing it now from Sam kind of shocked me.

"He's changed, Jay. Ever since you left for college. It did him no good to be left alone, surrounded by prey mammals here in the Meadowlands," she sighed, "You were gone, somewhere far away, and I was busy in City Hall. I had barely the time to spend time with him, to keep an eye on him. And his best friend, his partner in crime was gone. You know how very much Chris hates prey, and to be surrounded by them for the last two years without his friends..."

The hyena let out a weary sigh as she gripped the steering wheel tightly, her face scrunched up in thought. I watched her for a moment, realizing how much older she had grown since I had left. I always knew that Sam was the responsible one among us three, the mature one who kept an eye on us. But now I was seeing her in a different light. She was exhausted, she was tired and weary. She was an adult now, she had work to do, and she won't always have the time to keep an eye on us anymore. And still, here she was picking us up from jail after we had messed up. I realized, she would be a great mother one day.

I averted my eyes after a moment, staring blankly at my lap as I fiddled with my shirt before I answered in a coarse voice,

"I didn't know... I mean, I do understand his hate towards prey, but... I've also noticed how much he's changed on that matter..."

"Chris will be fine," Sam retorted as she slowly neared my house, entering the suburban area of the Meadowlands, "He just... he just needs his friends around him since he doesn't have anyone else."

Nodding mutely, I let out a sigh before I decided to change the subject. Talking about such negative things couldn't do any good and I didn't want to sour the mood any more as it already was.

"How... how are you, Sam?"

"I'm fine, Jay. Just... just busy. Barely have any time to relax since I got myslef a job in City Hall. You have no idea how crazy things behind doors are," she chuckled, me soon joining her, thankful for her willingness to change the subject.

"Is it true?" I asked, "Chris told me you want to run for mayor one day."

"It's still a very long way until then, but yes. It's true," she smiled, "You know, I want to help the mammals in need. Our mayor right now isn't doing shit in helping the little guys like us right now, he's only focussing on all the big corporations and how to increase Zootopia's overall prosperity, which isn't a bad thing. It's just, he doesn't have his priorities straight, and I want to change that. I want to actually make a change in this city."

"Hm," I hummed as I smiled at the hyena, "That sounds great, your parents must be proud."

I expected her to chuckle or to laugh, or at least a thank you or something, but Sam suddenly fell silent, the hyena seemingly focussed on the road as she entered my street. Glancing over to her, I could see the slight frown, the tiny sparkle of discontent in her eyes as she pulled up into my driveway. I knew I had probably said something wrong, but as I backtracked our conversation, I couldn't see anything out of place. It irked me to know I had done something wrong, but not exactly knowing what it was. But feeling the palpable tension inside the car as it came to a halt in front of my house, I decided to drop the subject. There would be another time, a better time to talk things out. But right now I was tired, and I didn't need to look at Sam to know that she was beyond exhausted as well.

"Well, uh... Thanks for driving me home," I uttered before I silently exited the car, the hyena seemingly avoiding eye contact as she remained silent until I slammed the door shut. I was about to walk towards my house before her voice caused me to stop and turn around, catching her smile as she looked at me from the driver's seat,

"Jay?"

"Yeah?"

"... Welcome home."


	5. Full Bottle

_"My mind is really distorted,  
I find nothin' but trouble in my life"_

-o-

I think it was to no one's surprise that my mom was beyond furious. I was sure I was partly numb when I came home and she started yelling, telling me how stupid I was for doing that kind of stuff and getting myself arrested. It was like I was hearing Sam's preaching all over again. I mostly remained silent as I listened to the scolding. I honestly had never seen my mom losing her composure in such a matter, it was frightening. She was yelling, she was screaming, crying, sobbing, and then straight back to shouting. She was saying all kinds of things like me being a misguided kid and how she had failed me, until her demeanor completely changed as she said I was responsible for my own actions and it was about damn time I experience what it meant to take responsibility. Well, I couldn't really blame her, she was a wonderful mother, more than I deserved, so I decided to just listen to her ranting, waiting for her to calm down. As soon as she was done, I just calmly told her how sorry I was and that I would never do it again. Internally, I knew I would do it again, but I swore to myself not to get arrested next time, but she didn't need to know that. Apparently it was enough for her before she just sighed and told me wearily that I was grounded for a month. Fair enough.

That night I couldn't really get any sleep, too many things were on my mind as I found myself back on the projecting roof, my mind wandering into every and any direction as I mulled over seemingly trivial things. My mind refused to let me rest, so I could just as well let it run around until it would eventually tire.

I thought about Sam and Chris, how much they have changed over the time, and yet how much they didn't. They were the same mammals I've grown to love so many years ago, the same mammals that offered me a shoulder to cry on and supported me in every and any way. They were in for the ride, no matter what. But at the same time I had to realize that they had also changed when I was in college. Sam had grown up, she was an adult now, more mature than Chris and me could ever dream of, even though she was only two years older than us, 23 that is. She had a job, a dream and ambitions, and nothing could steer her away from that. I was proud of her, but a part of me couldn't deny that I had lost a part of her while I had been gone.

Chris was another story. I couldn't see it the first few times, but he too changed a lot. It was like he was bottling up all of his emotions and bad experiences over the last few years, not having Sam or me to vent and eventually resulting him to explode like a volcano as soon as I was back. I knew he tried to reminisce the good old times in his one special way, and I really appreciated it, but it was also dangerous and reckless. We weren't kids anymore, and eventually Chris had to realize that. But who was I to tell him that? I was just as bad, refusing to grow up and to take responsibility. The both of us were hopeless, that's the way it was.

But what was mostly on my mind was the prospect of me being stalked. It was impossible for me to forget what had happened to me the first night I came home. Additionally, I couldn't get rid of the weird sensation that the necklace I had found the night I was arrested up in that shack might be somehow important. It was just way too strange, way to particular for me to just brush it off. I could feel it, and my intuition was rarely wrong. But what was I supposed to do? I had no leads, I had nothing to go on rather than some assumptions and gut feelings. I didn't know who that mammal was that was stalking me and I had no clue who it might have been. So what other choice did I have other than to just mull about it and have the occasional anxiety attack? Zilch, that's what.

Over the next few days as I was grounded I spent most of my time either with my mom, making sure she was doing alright, or doing different chores out of boredom. I liked to keep my restless mind busy, so I did everything there could be done; cleaning the house, doing the dishes and laundry, or else.

Today wasn't different. As mom had left for work, I was again alone at home, not having anything better to do than to walk around my house and look for something to busy my mind. My body was fidgety and yearned for something to do, but over the last few days I had already done everything that could be done inside the house.

So I soon found myself _outside_ of the house, sitting on the lawn with a paintbrush and white paint as I was painting the dirty rundown fence that was already molding. With my mom living alone in this house she didn't really have the time to do such chores, so I at least decided to help her out on this matter.

Headphones in my ears, I lazily dragged the brush across the dirty wood, painting it a clean white and making it appear so much more pristine than it was. At this point my paw was kind of moving on autopilot, my muscles having already memorized the movements as I painted the fence in slow yet fluid motions. As usual my mind started to wander, thinking about trivial things as I failed to notice another mammal nearing me. I continued to paint the fence until a shadow fell onto the fence in front of me, darkening my vision and pulling me out of my thoughts, before I ripped my headphones out of my ears, turning my head and looking up at the mammal standing behind me. Much to my chagrin I looked up into the grumpy face of an elder goat, my old neighbor and former firefighter Mr. Lesterson. To say Mr. Lesterson didn't like me would be like saying the sun was lukewarm. Even though the old goat didn't show it too much, I could feel his hatred towards us, whenever he talked to me or my mom. I usually didn't pay it any mind as Mr. Lesterson actually minded his own business most of the time, rarely interfering if it didn't concern him directly. But once in a while the hateful goat just decided out of the blue to harass me and my mom. Like now.

"So it's true, eh?" he bleated, his hooves on his paws as he smirked down at me, "You really are back. Can't say I'm surprised. I was already wondering when you'd crawl back here."

Frowning and suppressing a sigh, I turned back to the fence as I continued to paint.

"Are you saying you missed me? I'm flattered, Mr. Lesterson. Really, I am," I retorted, my voice laced with sarcasm. My ears perked as the goat just scoffed.

"Is that all you're up to these days? Being a rude brat and sitting on your ass all day? I bet your mom is really proud of you."

"Oh, didn't you know?" I responded, putting as much fake enthusiasm into my voice as possible, "I'm running for mayor now, so I can finally bulldoze your house. Gonna open a BugaBurger instead, that'll definitely gentrify this shithole of a neighborhood. You're welcome."

Looking over my shoulder just in time to see his smile faltering, I threw him a satisfied smirk before I returned to paint the fence. I really tried to just ignore the old geezer, but he was making it really difficult for me.

"Why you… little brat," he spat, glaring at me as I regarded him over my shoulder, "It's about damn time you and your little criminal friends learn your lessons. Yeah, that's right. I've heard about your little arrest the other day."

My eyes slightly widened upon hearing this as my body froze. I wasn't aware of how quickly such news would spread around these parts. I didn't even think of it being spread in the first place as I haven't told anyone.

"Damn right," the goat continued, "That's what you get! You preds don't do nothing other than sitting around on your lazy tails while benefiting from honest taxpayers like us!"

"Oh fuck off, will ya," I growled before tossing the paintbrush onto the lawn as I stood up from my seated position, the fence already forgotten. I was about to walk to my door before the goat continued to rant after me, his dirty smile audible in his tone,

"Don't you think it's ironic to have a fox arrest another shifty fox? At least this Officer Wilde has the common sense to put his own species in their place."

Stopping in my tracks, I could already feel my blood boiling as I clenched my paws. I could feel how I was slowly losing control, but I forced my anger down as I turned around to face the goat,

"I'm not a fox," I growled, "I'm a maned wolf."

"Doesn't matter," Lesterson scoffed, crossing his arms, "You preds are all the same; dangerous criminals.

"Don't think I've forgotten what you've done. No one will forget such a thing. This is your legacy, Mr. Feather. So you better watch your back. Otherwise someone might get hurt very soon."

With that the old goat turned around, not waiting for an answer before he steered towards his own house and slammed his door closed, the neighborhood returning to its usual serene atmosphere. My mind on the other paw, was like a raging sea as I stood on my lawn, my eyes clenched shut and body tense as I internally counted down. I forced my rigid body to relax, I tried to steady my breathing, I tried to push his hateful comments away. I was pissed. I was angry. But I had to keep ahold of myself. I couldn't prove him right. Not again.

Spinning around, I let out a shuddering sigh before opening my eyes, noticing how drained I already was even though it was barely noon. Letting out a sigh I started to walk towards my own house, opening the door before I entered my home, my only safe haven as of now.

-o-

_"Hey man, I'm really sorry about the other day. I know now it was dumb, and…. and I'm sorry for getting you into trouble."_

I smiled upon hearing his genuine apology. I was lying on my bed as I was talking to Chris over the phone, the snow leopard having called me a few minutes ago and having told me how sorry he was for getting the both of us arrested. I was genuinely touched by how much it was affecting him, and honestly, I had never been angry with him in the first place.

"It's alright man, I told you already. It's not a big deal, we're not in jail anymore, right?" I chuckled as I stared lazily at the ceiling, my paws behind my back as I listened for my friend's answer.

_"You sure? I mean, your ass got grounded for weeks!"_

"Not a big deal, Chris," I repeated, shrugging as my tail swished to and fro, "At least I get to spend some time with my mom. Have I told you already how pissed she was? I've never seen her so angry before."

 _"I don't need you to tell me that. I bet the next time she sees me she's going to beat my ass,"_ Chris answered, actually sounding afraid. I had to stifle a laugh at the thought of my mom beating up Chris who was about two heads taller than her. I could definitely see it.

"Don't be ridiculous," I chuckled, "My mom loves you guys. She could never beat anyone's ass. She's a religious woman, remember?"

 _"That just means she's going to beat me with all the wrath of God! I'm going to land in hell for this,"_ he dramatically moaned. Unfortunately I lost the battle and couldn't help but to laugh at his antics.

_"Don't laugh at me! I'm seriously having a crisis right now!"_

"You're having a crisis over _my_ mom beating you? I'm the one being grounded, Chris," I chuckled, the snow leopard soon joining me. I was about to speak up again as a sudden vibration from my phone interrupted me, causing me to lift my head and glance at the device. Seeing I had a text message from an unknown number, I raised a quizzical brow as I picked up my phone. An unsettling feeling suddenly started to churn inside my guts as I remembered the other message from my first night. Who's to say that stalker didn't get ahold of my number, sending me creepy messages and else? Swallowing nervously, I tried to sound as casual as possible so I wouldn't raise any suspicions. This was my business, not Chris'.

"Hey, Chris?" I spoke up, "I gotta go real quick. Gonna talk to you later, alright?"

_"Sure, I think I gotta end the call anyway. If I talk any longer during work my boss is going to kill me. See ya."_

With that the phone call ended, silence returning to my bedroom as I sat up. Even though I was alone in my room all along, it suddenly felt even emptier. Nervously, I opened the text message and mentally prepared myself for whatever creepy shit this lunatic had sent me. I was about to go crazy as pictures were flashing through my inner eye. What if the message was some kind of blackmail, or even worse, some disgusting picture of a dead body or something. Or maybe that mammal had secretly taken pictures, using it to scare the shit out of him.

All of those scenarios soon proved themselves to be wrong as I opened the message and read the rather benign words,

**T: Hey Jay. How are you? It's me, Taron Corsac, the one fox who arrested you the other day, lol**

My body immediately relaxed upon reading the message. Heaving a sigh, I shook my head and mentally kicked myself for being such a paranoid wuss. It was just Taron, Officer Wilde's partner, a police officer. There was absolutely no reason for me to be scared. Returning my eyes to the phone, I quickly typed an answer,

**J: hey, whats up. sorry, not trying to sound rude but how did u get my number?**

Even though it was Taron who texted me, it was still weird for him to just text me out of the blue. Not scary, but still weird.

**T: I'm a cop, Jay. It's one of the few perks, helps with picking up the girls, if you know what I mean ;p**

**J: thats pretty creepy dont u think?**

**T: …Maybe.**

**J: alright. well Taron, why r u texting me?**

**T: Well, what you've done the other night, deducting the reason for Officer Hopps' absence with practically no leads, that was pretty impressive. And you know, I think you're a pretty cool guy, so I thought maybe we could hang out, get some coffee some time, you know?**

**J: uhm, really bad timing. my mom grounded me so..**

**J: yeah**

**T: Your mom still grounds you? Aren't you like 21?**

**J: my mom can be a very scary mammal sometimes**

**T: I bet lol. Well, too bad. But we should definitely hang out some time :)**

**J: uh sure. why not**

**T: Cool! Well, I gotta go now, Officer Wilde and me are about to go on patrol now. Talk to ya later :)**

**J: see ya buddy**

With that I shut off my phone as I sat on my bed, my mind refusing to acknowledge what had just happened. I could barely grasp the prospect of a police officer just texting me and asking me out to get coffee. It was baffling, it was crazy. But who was I to refuse? I mean, Taron seemed like a genuinely nice guy, so why not? It couldn't hurt to get to know him a little bit better, right?

Shaking my head I just brushed it off, it wasn't weird to ask out mammals to get a coffee, right? How else were mammals supposed to meet new mammals? Deciding to think about it later, I hopped off my bed and quickly descended the stairs before entering the small living room. My eyes immediately fell upon the relaxed form of my mom sitting on the couch, her legs pulled up and her eyes completely focussed on her book with a small pair of glasses on her snout. I casually greeted her before I walked into the kitchen, about to get myself a glass of water as my ears perked up, picking up the muffled voice of my mom from the other room.

"Jay, honey, can you do me a little favor?"

Walking back into the living room and stopping in front of my mom who was still focussed on her book, I regarded her with a quizzical brow,

"What kind of favor?"

"I need to pick up an order from the florist in Downtown. Could you get it for me please?" she asked, not once lifting her eyes from her book as she turned a page. Crossing my arms, I just answered flatly,

"What's with the florist here in the Meadowlands?"

"The one in Downtown has way better bouquets, I can't decorate my church with low quality bouquets, Jay. Come one," she scoffed amusedly.

"And why aren't you getting it yourself?"

"Because this is a very intense chapter, Jay. I can't just stop now, that would break my reading flow," she answered, a smirk on her face as she turned another page.

"Have you forgotten that I'm still grounded?" I retorted, a light smile on my lips. It would have been for me no problem at all to go Downtown and get the order for my mom, but I decided to keep on this exchange for just a little longer, just to see where this might be going.

"Well, then you're ungrounded," she groaned as she finally lifted her eyes from the book, regarding me with amused eyes, "Would you please get me my order now? Please?"

"Alright," I shrugged as I began to move backwards towards the door, smirking at the elder maned wolf, "But just so you know, I would've done it anyway the first time you asked."

"Then why are we having this conversation?" she huffed.

"Just wanted to hear you ungrounding me officially, thanks mom. Love ya!"

With that I rushed out of the door before walking down the street towards the bus station, a satisfied smirk on my lips as I put on my headphones and turned on my music. Glancing at the clock on my phone I could see that it was already afternoon, the shops soon closing as I turned my sluggish walking into a brisk striding before I quickly reached the bus station. Seating myself in the back of the bus, I started to glance out of the window as the city rushed past me in a blur. Bobbing my head lightly to the music, my eyes began to watch the spectacle upon the sky, the red and orange hues of the autumn sun slowly fading and long shadows stretching across the streets of Zootopia as the sky slowly turned purple. Looking higher up upon the firmament, my eyes could see tiny sparkles, the few stars already visible before they could be completely drowned out by the light pollution in the city, the lamp posts already turning on one by one as the city was slowly engulfed by darkness. I noticed that the days were getting shorter and shorter, it was already getting dark even though it was only 6 pm. I had about two hours to get to the florist. More than enough time.

As the bus lurched to a halt, I quickly exited the bus as I glanced around the streets. Only few mammals were still out, either walking home or on their way to work for their late shift. I was about to turn and walk towards the florist just a few blocks down the road as a paw upon my shoulder suddenly stopped me dead in my tracks, my heart leaping into my throat as I spun around, staring with stunned eyes at a rather tall caracal behind me. The feline was smiling and regarding at me with a rather strange expression before he let go of my shoulder, taking a few steps back before he spoke up,

"Hey, do I know you?"

Frowning slightly, I pulled my headphones out of my ears before I regarded the feline with an uncertain voice,

"Uhm, I'm not sure… I don't think so?"

"Yeah, yeah! I know you," the caracal exclaimed after looking me up and down with a scrutinizing gaze, his predatory smile growing as he continued, "You're that kid from back in high school, right? What was it again, Jay? Jay Feather?"

"Uh.. I- I'm," I stammered, unsure what was going on. Glancing around the bus station, I noticed much to my disdain that the street was rather deserted, the few mammals not paying us any mind as they walked by.

"Yeah, I remember I was a junior and you a senior. Didn't you beat up this other kid, I think he was a capybara or something. Didn't you beat that poor kid to a bloody pulp? Man that was sick!"

It finally clicked in my mind. Frowning deeply, I glared at the feline as I clenched my paws, my voice low and tense as I responded,

"What the fuck do you want from me?"

"Woah, hey," the caracal chuckled tauntingly, "Chill out, will ya? All I want to know is why the hell are you still here?"

"What are you talking about?" I spat, quickly growing tired of this mammal.

"I mean, why the hell aren't you in some kind of psychiatry? You're a damn lunatic! Beat that fucking kid up until he was completely knocked out! You're obviously messed up, man. You should be locked up for good!"

He then shoved me rather harshly, catching me by surprise and causing me to trip before I landed painfully on my tail.

"You're a messed up motherfucker, man," the caracal spat, a devious glint in his eyes as he smirked, "Aren't you like, ashamed that you'll be forever remembered as the guy who beat up another kid into the hospital for no other reason than being a fuck up?"

I clenched my eyes shut as I laid on the ground, my paws flexing as I tried to focus on anything else than that caracal, I had to calm myself down before things would escalate. I could feel myself growing furious, the rage steadily building up.

"I heard your dad used to beat up your mom as well before he left your ass," the feline taunted, "Figures, the apple never falls far from the tree, ain't that right?"

Then it finally clicked. Like a switch inside my head, the fuse finally blowed. All the anger, all the rage, all the emotions I had bottled up over the course of the day, over the last few weeks, all of it spilled out of the bottle like a geyser. My mind went blank, my body on autopilot, my blood was boiling and rushing through my body as I shot up from the ground, my fist violently connecting with the feline's face before the two of us tumbled onto the pavement, grunting and scuffling like two savage mammals.

I had barely the time to react and get a grip of the situation as the taller caracal was already onto me, grabbing me by the collar of my hoodie as he managed to get on top of me. I struggled, I tried to get the upper hand, but it was to no avail. Even as I was practically blinded by rage, I knew I had lost this fight before I had even started it. The caracal was way bigger than me, he was way more muscular, and most importantly. He was in control of his emotions. Even though it hurt like a motherfucker, it was to no one's surprise as the feline began to smash my head into the pavement, his fist repeatedly connecting with my skull as pain shot through my body, numbing my mind as I struggled to get free.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed. Maybe it were seconds, or minutes. Maybe it were hours. It felt like an eternity until the caracal seemingly had enough as he got off of me, leaving me lying sprawled out on the ground, bleeding and grunting. Taking a step back, the caracal wiped the blood from his mouth with a satisfied smirk as he grinned down at my wrecked face,

"Serves you right, fucking asshole."

My ears twitched as I could hear the caracal leaving, his steps growing fainter as he walked away. My body immediately relaxed upon realizing that I was more or less safe now, except for the excruciating pain shooting through the whole of my face as I tried to pick myself up, groaning in agony. Spitting out blood after I had bitten on my tongue from the onslaught of punches, I tried to steady myself onto my wobbly legs, my head spinning like crazy. I could already feel my face starting to swell as I managed to stand on my own two feet. It was humiliating. It was the fucking cherry on top of the cake that was one of the shittiest days of my life. I had lost my fucking composure like a fucking mess that I was, and the worst of all; that damn caracal was right. I was a lunatic. I was a fuck up and a danger to this society. Maybe this was what I deserved. Maybe this was karma.

Fucking poetic justice.

I felt beyond miserable, all I wanted to do right now was to go home and crawl into my bed and maybe cry myself to sleep. Maybe smoke a whole package of cigarettes, it didn't matter. I just needed something numb the pain, maybe I should have just passed out on the street. That way I wouldn't have to walk home. That seemed like way too much work right now.

At least the day couldn't get any worse.

But I couldn't just pass out here on the streets. My mom had told me to get her the order, and if he would be away from home any longer, she would get worried. And if my mom started to worry, there would be nothing left to save me. I was already in enough trouble as it was.

After taking another steadying breath and trying not to collapse for the next for moments, I soon started to move into the direction of the florist. At first my steps were still unstable as I swayed uncontrollably, but as I walked a few feet my steps started to get more steady and soon I was walking almost normally, my paws in my pockets and head held low as I walked through the streets. I knew the florist was just a few blocks down. Fortunately it seemingly took me only a few seconds to reach it. I guessed time just went by faster when you had a lot on your mind.

Wordlessly entering the quiet shop, my eyes lazily roamed the interior before the door closed behind me, causing a chime above it to announce my entrance. It was quite warm I noticed as I walked further into the room, and the serene environment, to be surrounded by so many flowers and brightful colors, was really balm for my wounds, either on my soul or face. Sweet fragrances and smells, the earthy and calming scents started to invade my senses, and I could feel my tense muscles relaxing, my shoulders slumping as I closed my swollen eyes. I felt like I had finally escaped the horrendous world out there and had entered a bubble of comfort and security. I felt like I wanted to just stay here forever in this flower shop, to just keep on relishing the sweet aroma of the many flowers.

But as much as I wanted to just enjoy this moment, the night wasn't waiting for me, and neither was my mom, so I reluctantly pulled myself out of my relish as I moved towards the counter in the back of the room. Clearing my throat, I spoke up with a coarse voice, my eyes roaming the interior and not seeing anyone,

"Hello? Excuse me? I'm here to pick up the order for, uh.. Mary Feather."

Upon speaking up I could hear some shuffling and some grunting from somewhere in the back of the shop, before a young female voice called out, her muffled voice coming from the other room,

"One minute! I'll be right there!"

I waited patiently for whoever had been back there to pick themselves up, as my eyes returned to look around the shop. It didn't take the mammal very long though as they soon bursted through the door, stepping up from behind the counter. Turning my head around to regard the mammal, my breath almost hitched as my eyes widened, immediately recognizing the mammal behind the counter. All I could do in this moment was to stare with my mouth agape at the black furred bunny, her familiar blue eyes just as wide in disbelief as we stared at each other.

I was wrong. This day was seemingly getting worse by the second.


	6. Red Star

_I'm fortunate you believe in a dream  
This orphanage we call a ghetto is quite a routine_

-o-

I was sure the universe had some personal resentment against me. As if some version of my past self had fucked up big time and now I was the one who had to get all the bullshit. I could safely say that this day was by far the worst day of my life, and now as I stood before the counter, staring with wide eyes at the black furred bunny, I knew I shouldn't have praised the day before the evening.

"I- It's you.." I stuttered as my head finally registered what was happening. We began to glare at each other as I started to remember the time we first met. The gala, the ignorant shit she'd said, my anger... All of the things I had to go through during this day were still boiling inside of me and I could already feel how my body tensed up from just thinking about this bunny. I wanted to yell, I wanted to just shout at her, tell her all the awful things and insult her until she would run away crying.

But everything came to a violent halt as her own glare suddenly turned into shock, and then, much to my surprise, concern.

"My God, your face! You're bleeding!"

Stunned, I watched her wordlessly as she rounded the corner before hurriedly approaching me. I took a few steps back, still wary of the whole situation. I wasn't sure how to feel about all of this. I had already received a beating and I wasn't ready for another round.

"What happened?" she asked, grabbing me by my hoodie so she could pull my face down to her level. She then began to inspect me very closely, way too close for my liking, holding me with her free paw in place as her scrutinizing gaze wandered around my face.

Grunting I slapped her paw away before taking another step back, still glaring at her as I growled,

"It's nothing. Why would you care anyway?"

Her shocked expression quickly turned into annoyance as she put her paws on her hips,

"Are you kidding me? A customer is walking into my shop, blood all over his face and clothes, and you think I wouldn't care?"

I just scoffed before averting my eyes. I didn't have the time for this.

"Listen, bunny. I'm just here to pick up an order for my mom, alright? Just... do your job and leave me alone."

"Not gonna happen," she retorted, causing me to intensify my glare as I turned back around, "I'm not going to let you leave this shop looking like roadkill. Either you let me help you, or you won't get the order, understand?"

"Are you blackmailing me?" I growled, not believing what I was hearing. Why couldn't she just give me the damn order and leave me be? All I wanted to do is to get this goddamned order and then go home to think about how miserable my life was.

"It's called civil courage, you idiot," she huffed before grabbing my arm, pulling me towards the door behind the counter as she completely ignored my protests. I wanted to pull my arm away, but her vice grip around my arm eventually caused my resolve to falter. I was tired, I was fucking exhausted. Let her do whatever she wanted, it didn't matter anymore. So I just followed her, my body on the verge of passing out as the two of us walked into the backroom. I noticed how her grip considerably loosened up as she apparently noticed that I wasn't resisting anymore. Gently, the bunny lead me towards an old couch by the back wall before she told me to sit down.

Following her orders, I seated myself on the couch, my body immediately slumping upon contact with the soft cushions. It was balm for my sore joints and I felt like lying on a cloud as I practically melted into the couch, my body relaxing as I closed my weary eyes. My ears twitched as I heard the bunny rummaging through cupboards, apparently looking for something. Maybe a first aid kit. Or a shotgun to kill me. I didn't care. I was too tired to think about what she's doing.

Heaving a sigh, I could slowly feel my mind drifting into sleep as I laid on the couch, my ears barely registering her voice as she returned to me,

"Hey, fox! Don't fall asleep on me, alright?" she barked. I merely grunted, my eyes still closed as I felt her jumping onto the couch, the cushion beside me moving from her weight.

"Mmh... no... foss... maned.. wolf..." I slurred. It was growing harder and harder for me to keep myself awake. My eye-lids, arms and legs, my whole body felt heavy like lead and I couldn't find the strength to lift myself up. If only there wa-

_SLAP!_

Immediately my body jerked up from the sudden pain that shot through my face, my paw holding my cheek as I stared at the frowning bunny beside me in bewilderment. My body now fully awake, it took me a few moments to realize what she had done.

"You... you slapped me," I breathed, my paw absentmindedly rubbing the spot on my face. The bunny just grabbed my paw and pulled it away from my face as she began to inspect the wounds, her eyes fully focussed on her task as she spoke up,

"Yeah, well. You didn't listen, so I had to resort to harsher methods," her expression softened slightly as she turned around to rummage through the kit beside her, not once looking me in my eyes, "It would have been no good having you passed out back here. Now let me see your wounds."

Not resisting, I turned my body to face her as I regarded the bunny. I hissed and clenched my teeth as she began to clean my wounds with a rag soaked with alcohol. It surprised me how gentle she was, her soft touch as she wordlessly instructed me turn my head occasionally so she could inspect my whole face. The two of us sat there for quite a while, I wasn't sure how long. Not once did we look each other in the eyes, not once did either of us say anything, the only thing audible in the cramped room being the sound of fabric being dragged across my fur and my hissing from the burning sensation.

I couldn't quite believe it. Here I was, my injuries being treated by a bunny. A predator under the treatment of a prey mammal. It wasn't actually that strange of a concept, it just felt... weird. I never felt like spending time with prey, never really cared. I felt comfortable around predators, so why making the effort to please everybody by befriending prey when I couldn't be myself?

The worst thing was how vulnerable I felt this moment, to sit like a completely helpless pup on this couch while a bunny was babysitting me. It was humiliating. But on the other paw, the way she carefully cleaned the blood out of my fur, the way she patiently waited for me to swallow down the pain before continuing... It felt good.

"You know," she suddenly spoke up, her eyes still focussed on her task, "I'm sorry for what I said... the other day. I didn't know I..."

She sighed, her paws stopping for a moment before she finally looked me in my eyes, "I didn't know I hurt you... with what I've said. I'm sorry, really."

"Yeah, you better be," I spat as I crossed my arms. I mentally kicked myself as I realized what I had said. I knew I was acting childish, I knew she was trying to help. God damn, she was treating my wounds and apologizing! When was the last time a prey did something like that?

My frown faltering, I glanced at her face just to see her slightly disappointed expression before she continued to clean my wounds, causing me to flinch. But I wasn't flinching at the burning pain from the alcohol. That pain was long replaced by guilt as I gazed into her sapphire eyes, seeing genuine guilt.

"S- sorry," I stammered, "Didn't mean it."

The bunny halted her movements for a second, before she continued to gently drag the rag across the bloody spots, this time a slight smile on her lips.

"It's fine, I know you didn't," she answered patiently, causing my ear to twitch again. Slightly flustered, I averted my eyes, letting her work in silence as I didn't answer.

"So," she spoke up again, my eyes returning to her, "Are you always in such a sour mood, or only after getting beaten up?"

I just harrumphed.

"You wanna tell me what happened?" she asked softly as she stopped her treatment, her arms falling into her lap as she regarded me. I knew she was talking about the wounds, and while a tiny sparkle inside of me was tempted to tell her, I also knew I couldn't just tell a stranger everything about me. Especially not something like this. Averting my eyes, I answered curtly,

"Not really... Not now at least."

I was met with silence, the two of us sitting on the couch without any of us saying anything for a moment. I could feel her eyes on me, I could feel that she was silently begging for an explanation. Eventually the bunny sighed before she continued to clean my fur. Apparently she had given up to spark up a conversation with me as she remained silent, her movements more rigid than earlier. I could see how tense she had gotten, how annoyed she was with my thick headed behavior. A pang of guilt sparked inside of me. She was trying to be nice, she wanted to help. Why was I such a douchebag? Clearing my throat, slightly embarrassed, I decided to speak up,

"Uhm... you.. you work here?"

_Smooth, Jay. Very smooth._

The bunny just nodded curtly, not answering as she cleaned the spot above my eyebrow, which I raised questioningly as I continued,

"How come? I thought you were rich or something?"

She just chuckled upon my question, her paws falling back into her lap as she regarded me with a strange look, as if she was trying to ask me if I was serious.

"You know I wasn't lying the other day, right?" she asked me, putting her paws on her hips. I just looked at her quizzically, causing her to heave a sigh before she continued,

"I said the truth when I said I don't like the... what did you call it? Sweet life? Sweet my ass."

Her eyes became distant as she began to reminisce, seemingly lost in thought as she told me the reason why she was here and not in some mansion far away from the city. I found myself actually listening to her, genuinely intrigued by her story, not like the other night at the gala. This time I was paying attention, and I had no idea why.

"To be surrounded by mammals who didn't give a damn about you, mammals who only cared about business and numbers. Barely saw my parents, would probably need an appointment to talk to them," she mirthlessly chuckled, her paws absentmindedly fiddling with the rag, "I never had any friends, the only thing closest to a friend were the housekeepers.

"So one day I decided that I didn't want to live such a life, to have everything handed to you on a silver platter, to get everything you wanted just by simply asking for it. I wanted to make my own living, I wanted to be independent and actually work for my own money. So I ran away. I moved to Zootopia, and found work here at Mr. Otterton's flower shop since I already know pretty much everything about botany from living on a farm most of my life.

"I finally found a purpose, a thing I can strive for. That's why I'm here," she smiled as she looked at me, "You were right, you know. No one can choose the life they were born in, but you can choose where to go from there on. I have made my choice, I ran away from a financially secure life so I can work in a flower shop with a minimum wage and live in a tiny apartment I can barely afford. And you know what? Not once did I regret my decision."

I watched as the bunny picked up the rag and returned to clean up my wounds. I barely acknowledged the pain anymore, my mind was too busy digesting her story. I thought about what she had said, about taking my life into my own paws. About her choosing a life on the brink of extinction over a financially secure one. It was crazy, it seemed insane to me. I couldn't possibly say that I fully understood her, but the small part that did understand her, that was the part that caused me to find a whole new respect for the bunny. It caused me to see her in a different light, and I couldn't deny that I liked what I saw..

"Done," she huffed after a moment, turning around to throw the rag into the first aid kit before she turned back towards me to look over my face. Apparently satisfied with her work, she just nodded with a smile before she hopped off the couch to put away the kit, my eyes following the black furred bunny as she walked over to the cupboard. Slowly my eyes began to trail down her small frame, I watched as her tiny puff of a tail bobbed up and down as she walked, how she swung her hips in an almost enticing manner...

Shaking my head, I reluctantly averted my gaze as the room suddenly became considerably hotter. This really wasn't the time to think something like this. Jumping off the couch I started to move towards the door, wanting nothing more than to just get this damn order and then get the hell out of here. I was sure if I would stay here any longer it would only end badly.

"Uhm.. t- thanks, I guess," I stammered, "And sorry... for yelling at you... again."

"It's fine. Just try to solve your problems with words next time, alright?" she waved it off as she approached me. My body tensed as I noticed the black furred bunny steering straight towards me, an oh so sweet smile on her lips as she winked at me. Luckily she rounded me to return to the shop, not noticing how tense I actually was before I let out a sigh of relief.

Putting a paw onto my chest and feeling my racing heart, I again shook my head to clear my mind before I turned around and followed her back out. My eyes roaming the room, I quickly found her standing behind the counter, my mom's order already on it as she tipped something into the cash register. Walking out into the shop, I nervously waited for her as I tried my best not to look into her direction. It was already awkward enough to even stand in the same room as her.

Fortunately the bunny didn't take long to do whatever she was doing before she handed be the rather big bouquet, a warm smile on her lips that I would definitely keep in my memories.

Grabbing the bouquet I hurriedly bid her goodbye before turning around, not wanting to spend another second in this shop. Not because I didn't like it here, but because I was slowly liking it way too much.

But as I was already halfway out the door, I halted dead in my tracks as a nagging question arose in my head.

Turning back around to regard the amused bunny, I decided to voice my question,

"Uhm... I'm sorry, but I never... I never got to ask what your name is. I'm Jay, by the way."

The bunny's smile widened upon my question, a warm glint in her eyes as she chuckled,

"I'm Holly."

-o-

After leaving the florist and bidding Holly goodbye, I returned home with the bouquet in my paws. Obviously I tried to hide the several cuts and bruises on my face, not wanting my mom to freak out again. After all she just ungrounded my and after tasting the freedom after a few weeks I really didn't want her to repeal it again. Of course hiding something like that from your mother was completely in vain, as a mother seemingly was able to smell if their child was injured. The moment I came through the door she was all over me, demanding to know what had happened to me and who she should bring the wrath of God upon. Obviously she didn't say it, but I was almost sure she thought it.

After telling her several times that nothing had happened and that I just tripped and fell face first onto the pavement, she finally relented, though only reluctantly. I didn't really think she bought it at all as it was a pretty bad white lie, but after having raised me she knew better than to prod me about things I didn't want to talk about. Bless her soul.

I knew I was treating her unfairly by keeping such things to myself. She was doing everything she can to keep me from harm, to help me in any way she can. And the least thing I could do was actually talk to her and tell her what was keeping me busy. But I wasn't sure if I was ready for such a kind of conversation. The only person I used to talked to about such matters was my therapist, and even then I did it very hesitantly. I wasn't the type of mammal to wear his heart on his sleeve. Rather than spilling everything out of my heart, I liked to keep things to myself, to see if I was able to handle it myself before I reach out. It was a bad habit, I knew it. But bad habits were hard to unlearn.

As I retreated into my bedroom, I wanted nothing more than to just collapse into my bed and sleep for a week or something. I couldn't care less if I'd fall into a coma, at least I would be able to rest in peace.

So it came to no surprise that I immediately slipped into unconsciousness the moment my head came into contact with the pillow, my weary body melting into the sheets as my mind drifted into a dreamless slumber.

-o-

"Are you doing anything tonight?"

My ears perked up as heard the soft voice of my mother beside me, causing me to turn my head to regard my mother.

The two of us were currently sitting in the kitchen at the table, enjoying dinner as the elder maned wolf spoke up. I was absentmindedly poking into my bug salat, my mind wandering all over the place before I realized that she had asked me a question,

"Wha?" I mumbled, my mouth still full of food as I stared at her befuddled. She reacted by chuckling lightly before slapping my shoulder,

"Swallow before you talk," she chided amusedly, "I asked you if you're doing anything tonight. You know, it's Saturday evening. Don't you young folks usually do something fun on such a night?"

Swallowing my food and clearing my throat, I grabbed my glass of water before I answered,

"Actually yeah," I answered, taking a sip from my glass before setting it back onto the table, "Chris and Sam are going to a poetry slam session later and asked me if I wanted to come along."

I continue to poke into my salad as my mom answered delightedly,

"Poetry slam? Oh that's exciting!"

"Meh," I mumbled, shoving a fork full of greens into mouth, "it's poetry. It's as exciting as it can be, I guess."

"Don't be such a low-brow," she chuckled, "Poetry is beautiful way to express oneself. Did you know that I used to write poems when I was your age?"

"Really?" I retorted, regarding my mother with a raised brow upon hearing that. I never took her for the poetry type of mammal, so it was quite the surprise for me. "You and poetry?"

"Yeah! I was one of the best, oh it was wonderful," she began to gush, her own salad seemingly forgotten as she dropped the cutlery to clasp her paws together, "You know, they used to have these competitions over the newspaper, where a mammal could submit their own works and they would publish the best poems every week. And your old mother managed to get her work published numerous times over a decade!"

"That's great, mom," I smiled, genuinely surprised by my mother's achievement. It warmed my heart to see the usually so down-to-earth maned wolf in such an ecstatic manner, and I realized how rarely my mom actually was able to laugh and gush about something like this. Maybe I just needed to push her into the right direction.

"Maybe you want to give me some tips, so I won't utterly fail on stage," I chuckled as I set down my fork. Immediately her green eyes lit up before she turned to face me,

"Oh, of course, I'm more than happy to," she gushed. I had to stifle a laughter upon seeing her sitting on the edge of her chair, uncharacteristically ecstatic about the prospect to show her son some poetry. Admittedly, I wasn't a great fan of poetry. While I did enjoy music, I preferred the lyrics to be accompanied by melody and music, as I thought it emphasized the meaning and emotions of the song. Poetry just seemed to lack these things, and therefore I thought it was kind of dull. But as I saw how happy it made my mother to have seemingly found some common ground with her only son, I just couldn't help but to smile. I could at least give her this one thing, right?

"Alright, listen very closely, this is very important," she began, "Poetry is not about what you say... it's not about the rhymes... or how skillfully you're able to write some verses. Any simpleton can do that," she laughed, me joining her before she continued,

"This is not what poetry is about. Just like music.. or.. or movies, the thing the artist tries to do... tries to convey is how they feel. Poetry is a form of expression, a wonderful one of that. If you truly want to express what you're feeling, what's inside of your heart," she put a paw onto the left side of her chest, "Then you have to stop thinking, and start feeling. Don't break your head over what you're going to say, or if what you're saying sounds good. Heck, it doesn't even have to rhyme. Just listen to your heart, and poetry will be born."

"That sounds pretty cheesy, don't you think?" I chuckled. I wasn't used to talk about such mushy stuff. Hell, I had problems talking to my mother and friends about my problems, so how the hell was I supposed to tell a full room of strangers about how I feel?

Her expression softened as she gave me a warm smile, a smile only a mother could give her son when she knew exactly what was going through his head. Reaching for my paw, she gently squeezed it before she spoke up, her voice laced with worry and sorrow, but warm from all the support and love that was seeping through her words,

"Your emotions are your greatest asset Jay, don't you ever forget that... Don't let anyone say otherwise. It's what makes you a wonderful mammal, it's what makes you an animal. Don't be ashamed to express yourself, because that's the most genuine way to tell a mammal what you are, my wonderful emotional son."

I was speechless as I could just stare at her, my mouth slightly agape as I took in her words. Giving her a soft squeeze, I broke the contact as I pulled my paw away, averting my gaze as I cleared my throat.

"Thanks... uh, thanks mom. F- for the tip," I choked, feeling incredibly awkward as I could feel her gaze on me, wiping the tears from my misty eyes as I took my plate and moved over to the sink. She knew how I incompetent I was in this matter, why was she doing this to me now?! What would Sam and Chris think if I ran up to them bawling my eyes out over some mushy stuff my mom said to me. While I knew that her words deeply moved me, I couldn't just show her that! I was an adolescent, for fucks sake! We didn't just show emotions! That stuff was for mammals that were going through their mid-life crisis and I wasn't there yet! Damn it, mom!

"You alright there?" she spoke up from behind me, her voice laced with worry as I tried my best to hide my face.

"I'm fine," I hurriedly answered, silently taking a steadying breath before I turned around, giving her a reassuring smile.

"I... I think I should go, Sam and Chris are probably waiting for me."

Giving me a last warm smile, the elder maned wolf just turned around to continue eating her salad as I moved towards the door. Before I could leave the kitchen though, I halted halfway through the threshold as I looked over my shoulder, uttering a simple, yet meaningful, "Love you, mom. See ya later."

With that I left the house, slamming the door shut as I began to walk down the streets towards the bus station. And as I was taking in the suburban area of the Meadowlands at night, the stars shining brightly upon the navy sky, her words began to resonate inside my head, causing me to smile all the way until I was sitting in the bus, keeping this particular moment deep inside my heart as I knew I would want to look back at it if she would be no more.

-o-

"Took you long enough, twat!"

Taking my headphones out of my ears, I couldn't help but grin as I saw the two familiar figures standing on the curb in front of the club.

"I'm only two minutes late, don't wet yourself, asshole," I laughed as I greeted the snow leopard, the two of us grinning ear to ear as I fist bumped him. Sam just rolled her eyes as she put her paws into her pocket of her leather jacket.

"You two are goofs, you know that?" she commented, trying to sound annoyed even though I could see clearly that she was smiling. Hip bumping the hyena and causing her to trip lightly, I laughed as she gave me a playful glare.

"We're _your_ goofs, don't forget that."

"God, you make me sound like I'm your mother," she groaned as the three of us began to move towards the entrance of the club. It was a small building, relatively thin in comparison with the others in the street. The dark red brick building was sitting almost constrained between two higher ones, some office building and a kiosk, while a large sign hung above the entrance, depicting a quill pen illuminated by blue neon lamps. As far as I knew, the club itself was established sometime around the 50s, a hotspot for aspiring artists and other hipsters trying to find like-minded mammals to spend their days with. Since then it became a pretty popular spot for teens and adolescents to drink their night away while enjoying the fine arts.

"As if it was such a bad thing to have such great mammals like us as kids," Chris retorted, sending Sam a cocky smirk, "Any mother would be proud to have such charming and handsome guys like the two of us."

"Charming and handsome?" Sam snorted, "Just five minutes ago, you literally... tried to pick up that lioness by telling her that she had something on her butt and you'd be glad to get it for her! If that's charming then I would date the next crackhead on the spot!"

"Well, then prepare to be crack addicted, because in case you already forgot it," his smirk growing as he waved the little piece of paper in front of Sam's eyes, "I managed to get her number!"

The hyena just slapped his paw away from her face before Sam sent him a glare. I just chuckled as I listened to the two of them bickering. Sam raised a brow as she regarded me, smirking as she spoke up, the three of us seating ourselves into a booth in the back of the club,

"What about you, charmer?" she began, "You got your eyes on anyone yet?"

Immediately my smile faltered as I cleared my throat, my face heating up as I tried my best not to look into anyone's eyes. This was a personal question I was absolutely not ready to answer yet. Ever.

"No?" I meekly replied, hoping it would satisfy them.

"OhhhhhH! Jay has a crush!" Chris exclaimed, causing several mammals around us to turn their heads and glare at us before they returned to their own conversations. I felt like I just wanted the earth to swallow me up into the ground, my face felt like on fire as I listened to the teasings.

"Who is it, Jay? Who stole your heart?" Chris laughed, nudging me with his elbow while Sam just smiled at me expectantly.

"No one, alright? No one _stole my heart_ , geez," I replied grumpily as I looked anywhere but at my two friends. Eventually they bursted out in laughter but thankfully decided to drop the subject as the three of us fell silent, our ears focussing on the smooth tunes of jazz music that was blaring through the speakers, the melodic sounds of saxophones and piano filling the room with a calming, yet rhythmic atmosphere. I started to look around the club as I took in the interior. Only a few lamps hanging from the ceiling provided dim light while the spotlights illuminating the stage did the rest. It was fairly cramped, only a few booths providing a place to sit while other tables allowed mammals to stand while they could enjoy their drinks. All kinds of mammals were milling around the club, predator and prey alike, while most of them were adolescents ranging from 20 to 30 years.

"You guys know what to drink yet?"

I was pulled out of my thoughts as a female voice spoke up, causing the three of us to avert our attention towards a young sow, apparently a waitress judging by her outfit as she stood in front of our booth with an expectant gaze and a warm welcoming smile.

Reciprocating her smile, Sam started ordering in a friendly voice,

"Just water, please."

Quickly scribbling it down onto her notepad, she turned towards me with a patient smile as she waited for my order.

Thinking quickly of something, I decided to go for something that would loosen me up a little,

"A beer for me please, thanks."

Eventually it was Chris' turn, the snow leopard answering curtly with a barely noticeable frown,

"Coke."

I had to raise a quizzical brow as I noticed the snow leopard's mood seemingly souring, his arms crossed and body rigid with a slight frown on his face. Fortunately the waitress didn't seem to notice as she spoke in a friendly voice,

"Alrighty then, I'll get right to it."

As soon as the waitress left to get our orders ready, giving us another warm smile before leaving, I decided to voice my concern,

"What's gotten your tail all of a sudden, you sounded like you were about to hit her or something," I tried to joke as I gauged his reaction. My smile faltering, I watched as Chris averted his eyes to glare at the leaving form of the waitress. Then it finally clicked.

"Come on, Chris," I sighed, "She was friendly, wasn't she?"

The snow leopard just snorted before turning to me, "That's just part of her job, don't let that smile fool you. If she had it her way, she'd probably spit into our drinks."

"Not this again," Sam groaned beside me before sending Chris a glare, "She wouldn't spit in our drinks, Chris. Not all prey mammals are hateful murderers, and you've gotta get this into your thick skull."

"On whose side are you even?" Chris retorted.

"There are no sides, you idiot," Sam answered, glaring at the feline, "This way of thinking of yours is the reason why we almost had a fucking apocalypse five years back with Bellwether. Do you want that?"

The snow leopard just fell silent before he let out a scoff. Crossing his arms and averting his eyes, Chris apparently couldn't find a retort as he started to slip out of the booth before speaking over his shoulder,

"Whatever, gotta take a piss."

With that the snow leopard left to go to the bathroom, the two of us following him with our gazes until Chris disappeared through the doors. Eventually I let out a sigh of relief after having remained silent during their argument. Apparently Sam was right what she had said the other night. Not even a night together, when we were supposed to have fun, could distract Chris enough from his hatred towards prey.

"You know what," Sam spoke up after a moment, "Gotta go, too. Be right back."

Without looking at me, the hyena slid out of the booth and went into the same direction as Chris, leaving me to sit alone in the booth, while the two of them were most likely sulking in their respective bathroom stalls. Heaving another sigh, I slumped into my seat as I look towards the stage, my mind starting to drift as I thought about my two best friends.

Their relationship as of now was obviously a little rocky to say the least. While Sam tried her best to convince Chris that not every prey was an evildoer and criminal, Chris refused stoically to believe it. It was infuriating, even for me. I could very well understand Chris' resentment, but sooner or later he had to realize that this kind of hatred wasn't getting them anywhere, right? And most importantly, what could I do to help either of them? How could I possibly be of any help if I wasn't able to figure out my own feelings?

This was supposed to be a fun night, a time for the three of us to come together and enjoy ourselves after not having seen each other for so long. And while I sat in this booth, alone and thirsty, I silently hoped the two of them could at least get their heads out of their asses, so that we could actually have fun.

-o-

Fortunately, the two of them had managed to calm themselves down enough to ignore what had happened a few minutes ago. Upon returning from the bathroom, both of them acted like none of their argument had happened, the three of us returning to blissful teasing and chatting. Not that I would've complained.

While I could definitely sense some subtle tensions between them, I was glad they at least acted like adults and kept their shits for themselves. As the night went by, the three of us loosened up more and more, even though we haven't gotten our drinks yet. But we didn't exactly care. We watched the contesters, we listened to their poems, some of them deep and profound, others silly and straight up horrible. We laughed and joked, we cried and yelled. It was an onslaught of emotions, and I could gladly say most of them were positive ones. I genuinely had fun as the three of us seemed to forget about all the problems and shitstorms outside of this building. The world could collapse, kingdoms could fall and angels could call for all we know, but we couldn't care less. Because here, in this cramped club, filled with smoke, bad poems and jazz tunes, we found happiness. Ignorance was bliss, and hell, it had never felt so good to be indifferent.

"Thank you very much for this... very particular performance," a stag spoke up into his microphone as he walked on to the stage, the three of us barely able to stifle our laughs upon hearing one of the worst poems of the night. While I wasn't an expert on poetry, it didn't need a literary genius to distinguish between a well written piece and a huge steaming pile of shit. Of course, this club didn't take poems as serious as a few decades ago, allowing every and anyone to share their works, be it a serious piece or a lewd joke that rhymes. Nothing was forbidden.

"Now, do we have any more volunteers for the night? Anyone?" the stage began to look around the room, trying to find any mammal who wanted to keep the night going. I started to look around as well, intrigued by who might wanted to improvise something up on stage. Just the thought of going up there completely unprepared was terrifying and I was curious who would want to throw themselves into this.

"Come on, Sam. You do it," Chris whispered, leaning over the table to regard the hyena with smirk on his face.

"No way!" she hissed as she crossed her arms, "I'm not trying to make a fool of my-"

"Yo! This friendly hyena lady wants to rock the stage!" Chris yelled into the room, causing the stag and the rest of the room to turn towards them.

I completely lost my shit upon seeing the stunned expression upon Sam's face, the hyena considerably reddening as she looked around the room, all eyes on her. She was barely able to utter anything as the crowd started to cheer, demanding her to walk on stage and to be swept off their feet.

Reluctantly, the hyena slipped out of the booth, the mammals starting to cheer and applaud her bravery as she was shoved onto the stage, the usually so extroverted hyena suddenly appearing very meek and flustered. I swore I could hear her heart beating from the back of the stage, and the two of us had to put our paws in front of our mouths so we wouldn't burst out into laughter.

"Uh-.. uh,... hey?" she uttered, her eyes wide like saucers as she stared into the massive sea of eyes, her mind seemingly blank. There she stood for what seemed like minutes in complete silence, her mouth agape and body stiff like a candlestick.

Eventually Sam collected herself as much as possible as she swallowed, the sound audible through the microphone in front of her, before she finally spoke up with a quivering voice,

"Uh.. I- I've never done this before, heh," she chuckled awkwardly, "But.. o- okay.. Here we go.. Uh...

"R- Roses are red.. uh.. violets are blue... uh-... you've.. got something on your butt, let me get it for you?"

Complete silence. Not a single sound. Not even crickets.

Eventually Chris started to bang on the table, the two of us unable to contain it any longer as we bursted out into hysterical laughter, soon the crowd joining us. I swiped a tear from my eyes as I could barely breath from all the laughing, Chris beside me not faring off any better. I wasn't even sure if he was crying or laughing.

Sam wasn't as amused as we were, the hyena stomping back towards our booth with a death glare in her eyes. Her body was tense, her fists clenched, and murderous intent was glinting in her eyes as she stepped beside the still laughing snow leopard, Chris seemingly failing to notice the raging hyena beside him.

I've never heard a clap of thunder from so close before, but as her fist connected with his shoulder, I wasn't sure if I should call the ambulance or not because that definitely sounded like bones breaking. Or maybe I might have been mistaken as I couldn't really hear it, the sound being drowned out by Chris' scream of agony before the snow leopard collapsed into his seat, rubbing the sore spot on his shoulder as Sam seated herself beside me.

Not wanting to be doomed the same destiny like Chris, I contained my laughter before scooching over a few inches away from the fuming hyena. She was pissed. She was fucking pissed, and I feared if I tried her she would fucking kill the both of us.

It was hilarious.

"Oh God, I think you broke my arm," Chris whined as he straightened himself, his paw still clutching his arm as he glared at Sam. The hyena just crossed her arms as she snorted,

"That's what you get, asshole. You're next," she hissed, pointing a clawed digit towards the stage, as the stag from earlier was already thanking Sam for another particular poem and looking for another volunteer.

Flashing a toothy smile, the snow leopard dropped his paw before slipping out the booth, sending her a cocky grin as he walked onto the stage, snatching the microphone out of the stag's hoof.

Sam and I were staring at him with wide eyes, absolutely not expecting him to walk this readily onto the stage. But then again, this was Chris...

"This one's for the ladies," he spoke smoothly into the mic, flashing the crowd a charming smile before he cleared his throat.

"Just lay down,  
With your head on my chest,  
And listen to heartbeats  
The syllables of your name,  
Until I penetrate,  
And spend hours,  
Bringing you to a cataclysmic climax  
That will realign the juxtaposition,  
Of our entire solar system,  
Our dreams will intertwine with reality,  
And fantasy will animate,  
The moon will dance with the sun,  
And embrace the sky,  
In an eclipse of lust,  
Casting purple, gentle stillness,  
We'll cause an apocalypse,  
Decimation of your insides,  
Your eyes,  
Will widen like skydiving  
Over a volcano."

Dropping the microphone upon finishing the poem, Chris sent the crowd another toothy smile, causing several females to whistle, the snow leopard then returning to his seat with such a lackadaisical swagger only Chris could achieve.

I was completely flabbergasted, and judging by Sam's wide eyes and open mouth, I could only assume that she was just as stunned by his performance. Sliding into the booth, the snow leopard sent us a cocky smile before he spoke up in a husky voice,

"And? How was that?"

"T- That... That was... fantastic," Sam uttered, a smile tugging on her lips as she finally recollected herself, my own smile growing as I gave Chris a pat on his shoulder.

"I didn't take you as a poet, big guy. That was awesome!" I said, causing the snow leopard to grin proudly, before his eyes lit up mischievously.

"Well, now you, Jay," he then said, looking at me expectantly, my tail falling limp upon realizing what he had said. I just shook my head profusely, waving my arms as I backed away from Chris,

"No way, no no no," I said, "I'm not a stage person, I can't do this."

"We all had to go, now it's your turn," Sam chimed in, a toothy smile on her lips as I bumped into her, turning around to look at her, "There's no way we're going to leave this club without a poem from you."

Hackles raising, I could only stare with wide eyes at my two friends, "I- I'm not sure about this. I... woah!"

Before I could protest any more, the two of them shoved me out of the booth and onto the stage, not leaving any room for discussion as they were practically forcing me to perform. Sending me another last smile and a thumbs up, they returned to their seats, an expectant smile on their mugs as they waited for me to embarrass myself. Assholes.

But there was no going back now, the crowd had already approved me and were expecting another great poem. I couldn't disappoint them, I had to deliver something good, something that will sweep them off of their feet. Taking another steadying breath and closing my eyes, I tried to recall what my mom had told me earlier.

To listen to my heart, and speak out my feelings.

"I am those fist punched holes in bedroom walls

That paint the stages of

Your first broken heart in middle school.

I am that child who scares parents

Sneaking out the back door at 16,

Careless,

3 AM.

Bottle of Jack Daniels

Flying off the handles of life

And landing in shambles,

I am everything between high and low,

Sometimes the hero

A knight's mare,  
Sometimes the zero

A nightmare."

Opening my eyes, I was met with silence. The crowd was frozen, their eyes solely focussed on me as I stood on stage, squirming under their gazes. Was it so bad? Had I failed to meet their expectations? Sure, this was a fun competition and no one could win, but I still wanted to deliver something good.

I was about to leave the stage, ready to return to my booth to receive my fair share of laughter and teasings, before the crowd suddenly erupted in applause and cheers, the loudest of them coming from the back as Chris and Sam were standing on their feet, clapping their paws fervently as they cheered me on with wide smiles on their lips. It warmed my heart to receive such a feedback, and I silently thanked my mom for her advice as I descended the stage to return to the booth, my face already hurting from all the smiling.

"That was great, man!" Chris exclaimed as I seated myself beside him, "I swear, Sam cried during your performance."

"Did not!" she exclaimed as she threw a napkin at him, "I just.. had something in my eyes."

"Yeah, they're called tears, dumbass," Chris retorted, the three of us laughing as we continued to enjoy the night.

"Man, I'm parched," I commented as we watched the stage, another mammal already on stage to perform their poem.

"Yeah, same here. My throat is almost as dry as the space between Sam's legs," Chris chuckled, earning him a kick under the table and causing him to yelp as Sam sent him a death glare.

"Just saying," he whined, rubbing his leg, "I mean, where the hell is that sow? It's been what, two hours? And we still haven't our drinks."

"Yeah, weird." I had so much fun and was so focussed on the night, I barely noticed a particular lack of drink on our tables. I completely forgot that we had ordered something a while ago. Looking around the crowd, I couldn't seem to find the waitress among the mammals much to my chagrin. I was starting to think that she had ditched us.

"You know what," I spoke up after a moment, "I'm not going to wait for her, I'm going to drink from the faucet, be right back."

With that I slipped out of the booth before I steered towards the bathroom in the back of the club. Walking through the crowd I soon reached the doors leading to the male's bathroom, entering the white tiled room as the door fell shut behind me, the muffled sounds of music and mammals audible still audible as I stopped before the sink.

Turning on the faucet, the ice cold water splashed into the sink and I was about to drink from the deliciously tempting water as I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks. Looking into the mirror, I looked into my reflection, into my ice blue eyes and brown fur, I watched as my nose began to twitch. A sudden smell invading my senses. A familiar smell that caused my blood to rush, my hackles to raise, and my tail to bristle. It was a sickening smell, a stench that cause me to gag.

Looking past my shoulder though my reflection, I looked towards one of the stalls in the back of the bathroom. It was an ordinary stall, white walls and doors, metal door handle and the usual gap between the door and the red tiles.

Wait.

Glancing down onto the ground, I looked at white tiles beneath my feet, my eyes widening as I turned my head to look at the tiles below the closed door of the stall. They were red. What I smelled, the sickening stench. It was blood. Unmistakeably fresh blood.

Ears falling flat on my head, I swallowed the lump in my throat as my body seemed to move on its own, my legs slowly stepping closer towards the bathroom stall. I now noticed that the stall was open, the door slightly ajar and granting me glance into the stall and the tiled walls. My mind was starting to race, cruel images flashing through my inner eye as I reached the stall.

My body was stiff, I was breathing heavily and my heart was threatening to burst out of my chest. With a trembling paw, I slowly reached out to push the door inwards, and as my eyes finally fell upon what was inside the stall...

Oh God... Nothing could prepare me for this. Nothing.. I gagged, I retched onto the floor, onto my clothes. I didn't care. My eyes remained locked with hers. Her blue eyes, her lifeless blue eyes.

Chris wanted to know where our drinks were. I guess I found out why they never made it to our table.

Right in front of me, sitting on the bowl, sprawled out and lifeless, was her body, the sow, the nice waitress with the warm welcoming smile. Her clothes were stripped of her body, her throat slashed open violently, her body soaked in blood and other bodily fluids. I couldn't look away. It was terrible and cruel, and I couldn't steer my eyes away.

My eyes eventually fell upon her bare chest. Five clean cuts. Five lacerations that together formed a star. A simple pentagram. Looking up onto the wall behind the body, my eyes widened upon seeing all the blood that was smeared onto the once white tiles. But it wasn't so much the excessive amount of blood that caused my breath to hitch, that caused my whole body to tremble in fear, that caused me to collapse onto the floor as I stared with wide eyes at the wall.

It was the row of numbers and the daunting message, terrifyingly familiar as I recalled my first night back home.

**18•15•14•9•13•1•19•18•21**

**Let's play a game ***


	7. Aftermath

"And last night was just another distraction or a reaction,  
Of what we consider madness."

-o-

I remembered the times when I was just a small kit, barely five years old. Had just learned to walk on my own feet, learned to speak properly in coherent sentences, was able to think rationally. Well, as rational as a five year old kit could think. Other than knowing that my childhood was nothing but blissful, there were some memories that ended up to be stuck with me. Memories that taught me a lesson, a moral I can learn from whenever I find myself in a similar situation.

The memories were blurry, I remembered gray skies, heavy clouds. A lot of black. Some statues or stones, no... Tombs. It was a cemetery. I couldn't recall what the pastor had been saying, or what anyone had said during the service, I hadn't been really paying attention. My mind had been filled with other matters.

I remembered how I couldn't tear my eyes away, away from the unmoving form of another maned wolf, lying in a casket, the red brown wood immaculately polished while the inner lining actually looked rather comfortable. It looked warm, and welcoming. Pretty even. My mom told me to stay away from it. I was jealous of grandpa Morris.

If I remembered correctly, my mom's words were actually the only things that really stuck with me.

"Don't be afraid of death, Jay," she had said, "It's a part of life. Mammals come and go. It's the way it is. There is no reason for you to be afraid, alright?"

Of course I had just nodded, my mind not able to fully comprehend what she had been saying. I was too young, couldn't think in such abstract ways. And still, her words were seared into my mind, and eventually I understood. There were two certainties in this world, in this short life; Time will always pass, and yours will eventually too. I understood that there was no reason whatsoever to be afraid of death. What was there to fear? It couldn't be painful, because if you were dead, you couldn't feel anything. Maybe you could have lived longer, experienced all the things that you missed out on, but did it matter? In the great scheme of the universe, our lives are nothing but a tiny drop in a vast ocean. So why being scared, if our limited time was so irrelevant anyway?

Why? Why? _Why? WHY?!_

I wasn't sure how long I had been standing in this restroom, wondering why I was so damn scared, even though I knew very well why I was about to lose my goddamn mind. My muscles were beyond tense, I was sure I was about to get cramps all over my body. Was my heart racing, or did I have a cardiac arrest? I didn't know. I didn't care.

But what I did know, was the reason I was scared shitless, why I had vomited all over myself upon seeing the mutilated corpse of the waitress, the friendly sow who had welcomed me and my friends with a warm smile. Now she was staring blankly with empty eyes at nothing at all, her soul and life violently ripped out of her throat as if she was nothing but dirt. It was disgusting, it was cruel. It was the epitome of what a mammal was capable of.

I wasn't afraid of death itself. I was afraid of what ways death could be brought upon. And this poor waitress had experienced it in the worst way possible. To be murdered brutally in a bathroom, her body sprawled out on the bowl, left behind to rot.

_Get ahold of yourself, Jay! Deep breaths goddamnit!_

Clenching my eyes shut and turning my head away, I tried my best to calm my erratic breathing down. It was bad enough to vomit once on the floor in front of a fucking crime scene, I couldn't lose my composure like that a second time. Swallowing down the rising bile, my body finally began to listen to my mind as I started to back away from the bathroom stall.

_Okay, you're gonna be fine. Everything's fine. Peachy! It's just a fucking body. You've seen worse._

No, I hadn't. But crying about it wouldn't help. I needed to remain calm, tell myself that even though nothing was going right at the moment, I could at least help to try steering the situation into the right direction. Opening my eyes, I reluctantly glanced back over to the dead waitress. But this time I forced myself to look slightly higher, over her head as I regarded the bloody tiled above her.

Smeared in blood onto the once pristine white tiles were a row of numbers and a rather menacing message;

**18•15•14•9•13•1•19•18•21**

**Let's play a game. ***

Forcing myself to focus on the message, I took a few steps forward, my nose scrunching up from the sickening stench of blood. It was written in a rather sloppy handwriting, the blood being smeared onto the tiles in a rather erratic fashion, almost as if the culprit was in a hurry. The murderer didn't have a lot of time, apparent in the messy way he had executed the murder and wrote the message. Her throat was slashed open, literally ripped out. Only a mammal with insanely sharp claws would be able to do such a thing, to lethally maim another mammal in a very short time span. So the murderer must have been a predator.

Glancing back up, my eyes fell upon the message.

"A game," I mumbled to myself. The culprit was obviously a psychopath, if the way they had murdered the waitress wasn't already anything to go by. They were playing with their victims, they were playing with the police. And they were starting with a code. Squinting my eyes, I noticed something else. Something particular that should've immediately rang a bell inside my head.

There was a star, an asterisk at the end of the message. Maybe some kind of signature, a signature I had seen before.

My first night, the first message I had received. _**Welcome home, Jay. ***_

The culprit was the same, and they wanted to play a game with me. A gruesome game including murder and mutilation.

Shaking my head and deciding I couldn't stay here any longer, or I might otherwise make myself seem suspicious, I quickly pulled my phone out of my pocket. This case was rapidly growing more concerning. What I thought had been a simple, yet creepy case of a stalker had turned into something I would have never hoped to experience.

I couldn't possibly ignore this.

So I decided to take a few pictures of the scene, making sure to only photograph the message and not the body. I had stared at her body long enough, I didn't need to take a picture of her to make it memorable. I would look at the pictures later and would eventually figure out what to do next. But now, I needed to get out of here.

I called the police.

-o-

"Way to go to destroy a club's reputation, I guess."

I was sitting on the curb, head and ears low as I was listening to Chris beside me. The snow leopard and the hyena hadn't left my side since the police came, since I told them why we never got our drinks. An evening promised to be fun one, a night I could have spent blissfully with the most important mammals in my life had turned into a fucking episode of Law & Order. My ears twitched as I picked up the sound of a fist connecting with a shoulder, followed by a yelp.

"Stop joking," I heard Sam speaking up from my other side, the hyena glaring dangerously at Chris who was sulking and rubbing his shoulder, "A mammal died. Can't you be considerate just once?"

Chris didn't answer, instead he just huffed as he turned to look around the area. My eyes soon followed as I roamed the streets in front of the club. The once so empty and dark street was now filled with mammals, police cruisers, and flashing lights from the ambulance. Police mammals were milling around, interrogating witnesses and securing the crime scene. Sirens were blaring, mammals were talking, shouting, whispering. It was chaos, and all I could do was listen numbly to the onslaught of sounds.

After I had called the police, it didn't take them long to arrive at the club. Since I was the one who had made the gruesome discovery, it was to no one's surprise that I was the first one to be interrogated. Even though I didn't exactly had a lot to tell, other than wanting to go to the bathroom because I was thirsty and therefore stumbling upon a surprise package in form of a dead body. I think the officer's were more interested as to why I was going to the bathroom when I was thirsty.

"You alright there, buddy?"

My ears perked up upon hearing the familiar voice, causing me to lift my head as I looked into the friendly yet concerned expression of Officer Corsac. The young fox was as usual in his dress blues as he held two cups of coffee in his paws, one he soon held out for me. I was stunned for a moment, before I finally reached out and thankfully accepted the warm brew. I didn't usually drink coffee, I thought it was bitter and disgusting, only self-loathing mammals who hated themselves would drink something like this.

Maybe I would enjoy it.

"I guess," I mumbled, taking the cup as I held it with two paws, my eyes staring at it numbly, "It's not everyday I get to see a body."

"Yeah, no shit," Corsac smiled sympathetically, taking a sip from his own cup as he regarded me warmly, "Hey, listen. If you ever need anything, you know you can come to me whenever you need to, alright? And I'm sure your friends will be more than glad to help you as well."

I just nodded as I felt my two friends at my sides scooching slightly closer to me, a slight smile tugging on my lips. I appreciated their efforts to calm me down, to comfort me, and it truly relaxed me as I thought about how these mammals always had my back.

I was about to take a sip from the cup as something from the corner of my eye caught my attention, causing me to turn my head, my eyes falling upon Officer Wilde who was just walking out of the club. His movements were stiff while having a grim expression on his face as he rubbed his forehead. It didn't take a genius to see that he, too, was beyond tired. It was late, hours past midnight, and here he was, investigating a fucking murder case. I could absolutely understand Wilde's weariness.

The older fox didn't stand there long though as his eyes roamed the area, soon falling upon the small group of mammals surrounding me as I sat on the curb. My ears perked slightly as I watched him starting to walk over to us, a sympathetic glint in his emeralds as he soon stopped beside Corsac, mutely nodding at the younger fox, before turning towards me.

"How you doing, kiddo?" he asked in a low voice, his worries apparent in his tone as he regarded me.

"I'm fine," I sighed, slowly growing tired of the same question all over again, but still appreciating the concern.

"You sure?" Wilde asked, frowning as he regarded me with a skeptical look. I responded by just nodding, too tired to speak up as I took a sip from the warm cup in my paws. It was hot cocoa.

"Alright," Wilde eventually sighed as he averted his eyes, his paws swiftly pulling out his notepad, "You wanna tell me what happened?"

"I already told you," I sighed, savoring the sweet taste of chocolate, "I walked into the bathroom because I was thirsty. I saw the blood. I discovered her body. What's there to repeat?"

I knew they were just trying to do their job. I knew they needed everything they could get, every tiniest lead they could get their paws on, but it was late and I was tired. Having discovered a corpse was pretty exhausting.

"Why were you in the bathroom... when you were thirsty?" Taron spoke up, actually sounding intrigued rather than as if he was interrogating me, the young fox raising a quizzical brow as he regarded me.

"There's things called faucets, guys," I groaned irritatedly. Why the fuck was it so strange for someone to drink from a faucet?! It wasn't that weird, right?

"Alright, alright," Wilde relented tiredly, "You kids should go home. Get yourself some sleep, and... try not to get into more trouble, alright?"

The three of us nodding, we picked ourselves up from the curb before we waved the two officers goodbye and moved towards Chris' mint green truck. None of us said a word, too tired and still too shocked to do so. I knew Chris and Sam were trying to look strong, trying to act as if none of this was getting to them for my sake. They didn't want to worsen the situation for me, and I really appreciated it. But I wanted them to be sincere with me, I wanted them to freak out, because it would actually confirm my own panic. We were all in this, and if it was getting to me, I was sure it was getting to them.

We silently entered his truck, Chris in the driver's seat, me beside him and Sam in the backseat. I barely acknowledged how the car swerved onto the street, the faint humming of the engine as we started to drive. No words were exchanged, nothing was said. The silence was getting to me. The thing was, whenever it was silent, I was basically left alone with my thoughts. Usually that wasn't such a bad thing, as I actually enjoyed time alone to think. But in this case, I wasn't just left alone with harmless thoughts and mulling. I was let alone with gruesome pictures and memories.

Finally reality settled in, the shock slowly wearing off and making place for sheer terror as I realized what was happening. I had seen a body, a bloody corpse, violently murdered and left behind for me to see. The murderer was the same as the one who had given me the message on my first night. The same culprit who knew where I lived, who I was. This psychopath was willing to play a game, a game that included murdering mammals in the most disgusting way I've ever witnessed, a game I wasn't ever ready to join.

It was too much.

"Oh God, Chris. Stop the car," I breathed, my lungs yearning for air as I felt the bile rising, my paws clutching my thighs as I stared with wide eyes into space.

"What? Why?" Chris asked, glancing over to me with a concerned expression before looking back at the road.

"Stop the fucking car!" I yelled, causing him to floor the brakes as the car came to a lurching halt. Before any of them could say anything, I bursted out of the car, my paw in front of my snout as I tried to hold in everything I could. But it was too much.

Retching onto the side of the street and collapsing onto the ground, I tried desperately to heave for air, my throat burning from the acid as I coughed. I felt like shit. I could do nothing but sit on the street, staring blankly at the vomit in front of me as my rigid body trembled, my muscles tense yet shaking, my heart racing and breathing erratic.

I barely acknowledged their voices as Sam and Chris exited the car before running towards me, the two of them at my sides in an instant as they tried to calm down my body. I could feel their touch as they put their paws on my shoulders, as they rubbed my back to relax my tense muscles, I could feel their concern. But none of that reached me, all the terror and fear was blocking out any efforts of them.

Eventually I picked up Sam's concerned voice, the hyena kneeling by my side as she stared at me with wide concerned eyes,

"-at's wrong, Jay?"

"What's wrong?" I huffed, finally turning around to glare at her, "What do you think?! I saw a fucking body, damn it! I- I, she- she's dead, Sam! Oh my God, I'm- her throat.. her—"

I finally broke down. It was too much. I thought I was able to handle it, I thought I had it behind me. But I had been in shock, it never really settled in, until now. Those messages, the game... All of this was meant for me. I knew it. It was obvious. I should have realized ever since the first night. This psychopath was calling me by name. I was in danger. Everyone around me was.

"Jay, you gotta ca-" Chris tried, but was interrupted as I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, staring at him in a panicked state and my paws trembling.

"You have to understand," I breathed, "That murder, the body... The message. All of it was meant for me to see! Whoever fucking lunatic that did all of this, they did it because of me!"

"What... what are you talking about?" Chris muttered, looking extremely confused as he put his paws over mine.

"I'm scared, Chris," I breathed, "I'm scared for my mom. I'm scared that something will happen to her, or you guys.. I- I don't know I could-... what if-"

The snow leopard interrupted me as he suddenly grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. I fell silent as I felt him squeezing me, my arms slowly wrapping around him as I reciprocated the gesture, relishing the contact and warmth as I buried my snout into his shoulder and closed my eyes. I felt how my body slowly relaxed, I was still trembling slightly, but most of the tension was already melting as I tightened the hug. His touch, the scent of my friends surrounding me, it pulled me back into the bubble, my safe haven. It calmed my nerves to know that they were still here, accompanying me in my sorrows.

"Everything will be fine," Chris said, his voice low as he then broke the hug to look me in the eye, a comforting smile on his lips, "I promise you, that nothing will ever happen to you, or to your mom, or to us, alright? We'll be fine, buddy. Always have been."

"He's right, Jay," Sam spoke up, kneeling down beside me to give me another short hug, one I gladly reciprocated, "No matter what will happen, we're here for you. Don't you forget that."

I just nodded mutely as I held onto her, my breathing finally calming down enough so I was able to properly push air through my lungs. My body was relaxing considerably, and I didn't feel like throwing up anymore. Their presence was like balm for my soul, and I wasn't sure I could ever let go.

"Let's get you home," Chris said, the three of us soon moving towards the car as I had managed to pick myself up. I still felt horrible, no doubt in that. I didn't expect something like this to wear off easily, and honestly there was still a small part inside of me that couldn't quite believe what my friends were saying. But right now, I didn't care. Maybe there was a murderer out there playing mind-games with me, maybe we were all in danger. Maybe I was next, who knew.

All I knew, and that I was absolutely sure of, was that I wasn't alone. Never. I would always have Sam and Chris, I would always have my mom. Just like the stars above me, the tiny lights upon the dark sky and the uncountable amount of constellations, I remembered that no matter what will happen, they will always be there for me, their light always reaching me whenever I needed them.

-o-

If there was ever a good way to cope with stress, it was smoking. At least for me. I couldn't remember the first time I started sucking on these little sticks of death, but I remembered the feeling of relaxation and ease it gave me. The feeling of the nicotine entering my body, relaxing my tense muscles, calming my nerves, and bringing the whole world to a standstill for just a second. I knew very well that I would most likely get cancer or some other sick shit because of this habit, but let's be honest. My life was already this fucked up, I couldn't care less if I would die this moment. I wasn't suicidal by anything, mind you. I couldn't kill myself, under no circumstances. Just the thought of taking my own life, leaving my friends and my mother to fend for themselves, to leave them behind to grief, was an unbearable notion. I couldn't do that to them, and I didn't think suicide was any way to solve one's problems. You're just shifting your problems and sorrows to the mammals around you, and that would just be cruel. But if, say, a car would run me over, then that's just how the universe works. If it was meant to be, then let it be.

If I was meant to get cancer, so be it. If I was meant to discover a corpse in a bathroom stall, so be it.

If I was meant to be murdered by a psycho stalker, well.

So be it.

I knew how fucked up that kind of mentality was, how I was treading in a moral gray area, but what was I supposed to do? How does someone cope with something like this? Deny the facts and reality? Lie and tell yourself that everything will be fine while I'm sitting in a burning house? No, I wasn't going to brush off something as grave as this. I had to come to terms with reality. Either that, or I would have to try to distract myself from said reality.

So I spent the last few days doing just that.

It was late October, the trees having already lost their leaves as their naked twigs and branches danced in the wind. Their orange and yellow dress was stripped from the seasons as the many uncountable leaves were dispersed all over Zootopia and the Meadowlands. Heavy clouds were looming over our heads and promised us rain and storm, and yet there was not a single drop of water falling.

I was in my front yard, headphones plugged into my ears and music turnt way up, the bass lines and melodies blaring into my head, almost painfully. I didn't care. I was busy raking all the leaves from the yard and didn't have the time or the energy to pay that any attention. From an outsider it might just seem like an everyday thing; a young maned wolf raking the leaves from his own yard.

For an insider, and for someone who might look closer, it was anything but. My paws were cramped, tightly gripping the garden tool as if my life depended on it. My music was turned way too loud, so I couldn't hear my own thoughts. My eyes were trained on everything and nothing at all, my muscles tense. My mind was blank, I was paying attention at everything and nothing. I was forcing myself to think of anything but the other night, which eventually resulted in me doing just that.

These were the days after the night at the club. Finding anything I could do around the house to distract myself, to get my mind off of that night. I mowed the lawn, I cleaned the whole house, I helped my mom around the church, just so I could think of something else. My smoking habit got worse, I smoked more than I used to. I stopped counting the packages I emptied through the day. I could barely sleep. Barely eat. These were the worst days of my life.

As I was busy raking the yard and my mind clean, I almost failed to notice another mammal approaching me. Almost. Due to the increased paranoia that was plaguing me the last few days, I was practically on high alert 24/7. I spun my head around and ripped the headphones out of my ears as I regarded the approaching mammal, and much to my disdain it was a very familiar neighbor.

"I've heard what happened the other night," Lesterson sneered as he crossed his skinny arms, regarding me with a condescending glare.

Frowning, I decided to ignore the old goat as I continued to rake the leaves. I didn't have the time or the energy to talk to that geezer.

"You know, it's all over the news, your little stunt," he continued, " _Dirty pred maims prey_."

That caused me to look up. Staring at him with wide eyes, it took me a while to realize what he had said.

"What?" I uttered numbly, my body frozen from what I was hearing. To add to the confusion and horror, Lesterson just smirked with his shit-eating grin.

"Well, might be that the news didn't word it exactly like that," the goat continued, "But that's the way I understood it."

He then bursted into laughter, a sound worse than dragging your claws across a chalkboard. Not because it was so high pitched or anything. But because it was coming from him. I wanted nothing more than to just beat that satisfied smirk from his face.

"You really think I did this to her?" I growled, my grip tightening around the rake as I glared at Lesterson, clearly feeling my blood boiling.

"It wouldn't really surprise me," he taunted, "I've always known that you and your mother are little dirty miscreants,"

_10... 9... 8..._

"Violent and despicable,"

_7... 6... 5..._

"Don't give me that look, you know very well that it's true. Bellwether had proven her point very well, you know? You're nothing but.."

_4.._

"...dirty..."

_3..._

"...savage..."

_2..._

"... chompers!"

_Fuck it._

It might have been a little harsh, or maybe I was overreacting. Well, on hindsight it was absolutely an overreaction. But could anyone really blame me? I was a mess over the past few days, a walking chaos, lacking anything of order. So was it really a bad thing for me to bash the old goat's fucking head with my rake?

Maybe.

I was completely gone. My mind was blank, my vision was red. Emotions numb. The only thing I felt this moment was utter rage as my paws were tightly gripping the gardening tool. Repeatedly I pulled back just to hit that fucking goat. I wanted nothing more than to just break his damn bones, to beat him black and blue until he would crawl back to the cave he came from. I was pissed, I was tired, I was mortified.

But I didn't care as I continued to wordlessly beat him, the old goat squirming on the grass as he told me repeatedly to stop beating him, as he yelled and struggled. I didn't care as he finally grabbed the rake as I went for another hit, as he pulled it away and dragged me with him onto the ground. I didn't care as he began to pay me back, as he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and punched me several times into my face, knocking the consciousness out of my head as my mind went blurry. I had never been the fighter, so it was to no one's surprise that I wasn't struggling at all.

If I was meant to be beaten to a pulp, then so be it.

"Jay!"

The pain was beginning to become unbearable as Lesterson's weight finally shifted, my body slumping passively onto the grass as I groaned in pain. My body felt like I was run over several times by a truck as I tried to pick myself up, rolling onto my side as I spit out a mouthful blood. Clenching my teeth, I eventually looked up, my eyes slightly widening upon seeing Chris of all mammals stepping beside me as he helped me up.

"Chris? Wha- What are you doing here?" I mumbled, the snow leopard pulling me onto my feet as he glared at me.

"I should be the one asking that!" he yelled, "What the hell is going on here?"

"T- That savage attacked me!" Lesterson spoke up angrily, causing us to turn to him as he stood a few feet away, staggering slightly as he pointed a hoof at me, "He assaulted me!"

"You've had it coming," I growled, "You fucking assh-"

"Okay that's enough!" Chris interrupted, glaring at me and Lesterson as he turned to regard the goat, "You're both idiots! You're goddamn adults, so please, for the love of God, act like it!"

Silently, I thought it was pretty ironic that Chris would be the one telling me one day to grow up and act like an adult. But he was right, I was behaving like a hot-headed child. Guilt started to churn inside my guts as I straightened myself up, already feeling slightly better. Before I could do anything as utter an apology, Chris suddenly grabbed my paw and started to pull me away towards my house. Sending him a surprised look, he just ignored me as we reached the door, the snow leopard opening it and the two of us entering my house, leaving the angry goat alone standing in my front yard.

Upon slamming the door closed, the two of us fell silent as we stood in the hallway. I didn't dare to look him in the eyes, too ashamed as I rubbed my arm absentmindedly. The pain on my face was already starting to dissipate, it was still pulsating, but it wasn't hurting that much anymore. Other than that, I could also feel the piercing glare coming from Chris as he just stared at me, arms crossed and tail swishing agitatedly.

Eventually he broke the tense silence, "What the hell happened, Jay? And I want a clear answer, understood?"

Nodding mutely, I opened my mouth, still not looking at him, "I- I was raking my yard. Minding my business, when Lesterson decided to harass me. He insulted me... and my mom... He blamed me for the other day, you know... at the club..."

Glancing up, I could see Chris' expression slightly softening as he uncrossed his arms. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he let out a weary sigh,

"So you attacked him?" he asked, regarding me with a tired look. I just nodded.

Shaking his head, he answered with a soft yet firm voice, "You can't just attack mammals, just because they aggravate you, Jay. Yell at them, insult them or something, I don't know, just... just don't start to fucking beat them up, alright?"

"You think I want to beat them, Chris?" I retorted, sending him a desperate glare, "You think I haven't tried to control myself? I can't Chris! I'm a fucking mess, and this is all I can do!"

"You're not a mess, Jay!" the snow leopard yelled, causing me to fall silent, "You're not a mess. You're a normal mammal with emotional baggage, alright? I mean, who the fuck doesn't?"

His expression softened as he continued with a lowered voice,

"Those mammals, like Lesterson. All they want is to get a reaction out of you. They are petty little haters, who have nothing better to do than to walk around and be a pest to other mammals. You're better than that, Jay.

"Not every action requires a reaction. Remember that, alright?"

I didn't answer. I just nodded as I averted my eyes. It was bad enough to having assaulted that goat, no matter how much of an asshole he was. Chris was right, beating up another mammal wasn't the right way. Wanting to steer away from that topic, I spoke up after a moment, my voice low and tense,

"Why are you here, Chris?"

The snow leopard sighed as he regarded me for a moment, "Actually, I just wanted to pass by and make sure you were doing alright, you know. Sam would've come too, but she's busy right now. Sends you her best regards, by the way."

"Thanks," I smiled, genuinely appreciating their efforts to make sure I was doing okay. More than ever did I need their presence around me, just to reassure myself that they weren't in any mortal danger.

"You're welcome, asshole," Chris smiled, causing me to chuckle lightly, "Alright, so what do you wanna do? Play some games? Do sports? Wreak havoc around the Meadowlands?"

"Actually, I kinda just want to hang out, alright?" I retorted, thinking about his suggestion as I regarded him. I was tired, and felt kinda off. Maybe it would be for the best if I take it slow for the next time being. And I already knew the best place for the two of us to get our minds off of all the problems around us.

-o-

"Alright, alright! My turn. So... would you... rather eat a whole jar of mayonnaise... or... or a whole tub of butter? Go."

The two of us were currently sitting on a blanket on the projecting roof, the usual spot for us to hang out during our childhood. It filled me with a familiar sense of bliss to be back at a place I had cherished so much, a place I was able to share with one of the most important mammals in my life. We had been talking for quite a while now, I wasn't sure but it was probably hours ago since the incident with Lesterson. The sun was already on its way down, nearing steadily the horizon as stretching long shadows across Zootopia, while the autumn sun glowed above the evergreen trees of the forest beyond my backyard, bathing the world around us in a warm orange hue. It was beautiful, and for the first time since the incident in the club, I felt truly calm. None of my worries reappeared as the two of us sat up here, staring into the wide vast ocean of trees, drinking and chatting about dumb stuff, laughing and teasing each other. It was bliss.

"Hmm... Gonna go with the butter. I hate mayonnaise," Chris answered, his face scrunched up in disgust and causing me to chuckle as I regarded him with a raised brow.

"Really? You would rather eat a _whole tub_ of butter, just because you don't like mayonnaise?"

The snow leopard just shrugged as he took a sip from his can of coke, "Mayonnaise is disgusting, man. I honestly would rather die from a skyrocketing cholesterol level after eating a tub of butter, than eating a single spoon of coleslaw. God, just the thought of it makes me wanna throw up."

The two of us shared a laugh as I took a sip from my beer, my eyes turning back to stare at the sunset.

My ears perked up as Chris spoke up,

"Alright, it's my turn," he spoke, rubbing his chin as he thought about his question, "Would you rather... live without music, or without TV? Go."

I just snorted, "Too easy, man. TV of course."

"How come?" Chris asked, taking another sip from his coke.

"TV is dumb, man. All they do is show that brain-frying shit like reality TV and stuff. It's dumbing down the youth. I can live without that."

"We _are_ the youth, Jay," Chris retorted with a smirk, "You talk like you're in your fifties."

"Shut up," I chuckled, elbowing him lightly and sending him an amused glare, "It's my turn. Would you rather... die-"

"Yes."

"Shut up and let me finish," I chuckled, elbowing him a little harder as we shared a chuckle.

"Would you rather die by being eaten by maggots from the inside out, or die by being eaten by ants from the outside in? Go."

"Damn, that's a fucked up question, buddy," Chris chuckled before he thought about it, "Gonna go with the first one I think, maggots from the inside out."

"Why's that?" I asked him, taking a sip from my beer as I turned to listen to the feline.

Chris just scoffed before raising a finger to point at his face, "Come on, Jay. My good looks are the only thing I have. If I'm already dying in this fucked up and completely realistic scenario, then at least I'm gonna die looking beautiful."

"Don't be ridiculous," I chuckled, "You have way more than just your looks. You're funny, and smart. And a really good friend.."

"This is getting gay," Chris chuckled as he turned away. I could clearly see him blushing under his fur and had to stifle a laugh as I turned back to the sunset. Chris might act like a tough guy, but on the inside he was a softie. Perfect meal for hypothetical maggots.

"Alright, enough of that gay shit," Chris huffed with a smile, "My turn, and this time it's a hard one."

"A _hard_ one? I thought we were done with gay shit," I laughed, earning myself an empty can of coke on my head as the feline threw it at me, causing me to laugh as he just glared at me.

"Shut up," he grumbled before clearing his throat, "Alright, would you rather... die one day like everyone else, or become immortal and live on forever?"

This one made me think. Averting my eyes, I stared at the dancing treetops of the forest in front of us and the setting sun as the sky slowly turned black. His question might have seemed easy to answer, but as I thought about it, I had to realize that both scenarios had their pros and cons. I eventually made my decision.

"First one. I would rather die."

"What? Why?" came the feline's rather surprised question, "Why would you rather die, I mean if you're immortal, you could witness all the crazy stuff that science has in store for us, like aliens and shit!"

"Sure," I chuckled, "Might be that we could have flying cars and robots or stuff like that, but... is it really worth it? If I would be able to live forever, that would mean that I also have to witness how all of the mammals around me, including you, Sam, and my mom to die. I couldn't do that, to see you guys leaving this world without me ever being able to follow.

"Immortality is a curse. I would rather bite the dust before seeing any of you doing it."

Chris didn't answer. Instead he just smiled warmly at me, one I gladly reciprocated. The two of us fell silent after that, none of us having anything to add as we watched the sun kissing the horizon, engulfing us in darkness as the firmament above our heads turned black, bringing out the cold sparkling of the numerous stars. I was relishing in the breathtaking sight as my phone suddenly vibrated. Reluctantly averting my eyes, I glanced onto my phone and raised an eyebrow upon seeing that Taron had texted me.

_Why is Taron texting me?_

Deciding to answer my own question, I quickly unlocked my phone and read his message.

**T: Hey Jay. It's me, Taron. Just wanted to hit you up and make sure you're alright.**

Humming surprisedly that Taron would be concerned about my wellbeing, yet strangely touched by his efforts, I quickly typed in my answer.

**J: thanks buddy. I'm doing fine btw. What r u up to?**

**T: That's good to hear! I'm just on patrol with Officer Wilde, doing boring police stuff lol**

**J: thats cool. Tell him I said hi o/**

**T: Will do!**

"Who are you texting?" Chris spoke up, glancing suspiciously at me as I turned my head.

"Just Taron, wanted to make sure I was doing okay," I answered before putting down the phone, lifting the bottle for another sip.

"Heh, you're friends with a cop now?" Chris chuckled, "Man, things sure have changed."

"Yeah," I said, a light smile on my lips as I rolled the bottle in my paw absentmindedly.

"You know, I've been thinking," I spoke up after a moment, causing the feline beside me to bark a laugh.

"That's never good," he chuckled as I elbowed him lightly, the feline reacting by raising his paws placatingly.

"Shut up, I'm trying to tell you something," I smiled, "I was thinking about what Officer Wilde had said the other day, you know... about me being a police officer. I think that's not that bad of an idea, don't you think?"

That caused Chris to stare at me with surprised eyes, his whiskers twitching as he regarded me,

"Really? I- uh, wow! Sorry it's just... so sudden, how come?"

I didn't look him in the eye as I stared blankly at the bottle with the now lukewarm beer in my paws, shifting it between my paws as I answered,

"I feel like I've been missing something in my life, Chris. Some kind of... I don't know. Purpose. I mean I don't have any goals in life," I chuckled mirthlessly, glancing at my friend who was listening attentively with perked ears.

My smile sightly faltered as I continued, "Well, not really. Just look at you, or Sam. You guys have it figured out. You have your dream of... seeing the world, to leave this place so you can find your own home. And Sam is going to be a fucking mayor, passing laws and shit.

"And then there's me. No job. College dropout. No ambitions whatsoever. I've always wanted to help, you know? Doing all those shit back then, breaking the law and stuff. It was my fucked up kind of way to help these mammals here. The Meadowlands were so damn boring, I thought I was helping them with bringing the mammals here some excitement. But now, I think there's a better way to help, and what better way to help others than being a cop, right?"

I turned to look at Chris, the snow leopard having remained silent throughout my speech as he stared at me with glinting green eyes. Eventually the shock apparently settled as he gave me warm smile, his eyes reflecting the pride and the love as he had been listening.

"I never thought I would say this," he chuckled lightly, "But damn it. I think you would be one hell of a cop."

He lightly punched me in my shoulder, causing me to reciprocate his smile as I turned to look at the stars above us.

"Thanks buddy, maybe you can join me one day. We could be one hell of a team, don't you think?" I chuckled, taking a sip from the beer just to spit it out again. Warm beer was disgusting.

"Oh no, I don't think so," he shook his head profusely, "While I do enjoy shooting - You remember my exceptional skills at marksmanship? Yeah, of course you do. While I do enjoy it, I don't think I could ever shoot another mammal."

"I think you have a really bad idea of what cops do, man," I laughed. Ironically it was the same thing I had said to Officer Wilde when he had suggested me becoming a cop. Chris was right, I did remember his old days in high school when he used to practice shooting with his shotgun and clay pigeons. Admittedly, he was pretty good.

"Well, I beg to differ," Chris retorted, "Have you ever been to the ghetto in Sahara Square? It's like a damn battleground out there."

We two shared another laugh before we again fell into a content silence. This was good. This right here, just sitting here on this roof and talking to one of my favorite mammals in this godforsaken city filled with mammals who didn't give a shit, to just gaze at the stars and talk about all kinds of stuff. This was one of the moments I truly lived for. It filled me with warmth and determination, with hope and love to know that I would always have a friend by my side who would readily listen to anything I'd say, and supports me no matter what.

My mind began to fill itself with thoughts about me being a police officer. Chris obviously approves the idea, and I was sure Sam would say the same thing. Maybe I had just found out my future, my purpose. Maybe helping mammals was what I was supposed to do. This felt right, this felt good.

But as I thought about me being a police officer, I began to think about the things a police officer is bound to do. Besides the usual stuff one would know about being an officer like patrolling, filling out paperwork, solving crime, and catching culprits, it also included a wide range of rather uncomfortable things. Things like murder, homicide, and rape. Things like finding a corpse in a bathroom stall.

Clenching my teeth, I realized that I was back to filling my head with bloody pictures and gruesome memories. I wanted to steer away from it, I wanted to forget. I never wanted to see something like this again. No mammal should ever see something like this.

But wasn't that basically the purpose of being a police officer, to ensure that the mammals around you, the innocent citizens, were safe from those kind of things? I wanted to be a police officer, so seeing these things was just part of the job. Someone had to do it. And if I was the one who had to do the job of confronting myself with these situations, just so mammals like Chris, Sam, and my mother would never have to experience it, well then so be it.

It was time for me to take things into my own paws. I had a murder case, and a psychopath out there targeting me. They wanted to play a game, they wanted to taunt me and the police. They tried to drive me insane by showing me the darkest sides of Zootopia.

_Well, newsflash asshole, I'm back on my bullshit. You want to play a game? Fine, then I guess it's time for my turn._

But I couldn't do this alone. I needed help, I needed the support and the wits of mammals who I could fully trust, mammals who I knew had my back.

Mammals like Chris and Sam.


	8. Aster

_"I know exactly what happened,  
You ran outside when you heard my brother cry for help"_

-o-

This wasn't how I had expected the evening to go. Initially I had planned to just hang out with Chris, maybe invite Sam over so the three of us could have a nice evening together if she had the time, just drinking and chatting. But somehow my brain came up with the idea to gloriously ruin the evening by deciding to tell them about what had been haunting me for the last few days. Chris was of course very reluctant to pick that topic up after what had happened a few days ago in the club. I knew the snow leopard was just trying to protect me from myself overthinking and worrying about things I shouldn't think of in the first place. Seeing a dead body shouldn't have been ever a part of my life, but when did something ever go according to plan? So why not also fuck up my own plans and just do whatever I wanted?

So after telling Chris that I had to tell him and Sam something very urgent, the snow leopard had eventually relented. Getting down from the roof and entering my room, we closed the door and dialed Sam's number. Fortunately, it was already pretty late, the hyena already done with her work for the day as she had gladly agreed to come over. Of course I hadn't told her what this was about. Sam wasn't dumb, and if she could hear just a single implication that this invitation was anything but a harmless hanging out, she would immediately ditch us or call the cops if she'd see the necessity. Sam wasn't a snitch by any means, but she did work for the government. It was pretty much her job to keep us in line, and having already picked us up from jail once was more than enough.

It didn't take her long to get to my house and soon the three of us were standing inside my cramped bedroom, the hyena closing the door behind her as her hazel eyes roamed the interior.

"Man, it's been a quite while since I was here," she commented as she walked deeper into the room before coming to a halt in the centre. I just watched her as I fidgeted on my bed across from the door, Chris sitting on the office chair by my desk beside me.

"So, you have anything to drink, or should we pick some stuff up from the liquor store?" she asked before walking up to the bed and making herself comfortable on my mattress beside me, letting out a sigh as she relaxed her body.

I just glanced at Chris from the corner of my eyes before I cleared my throat, suddenly not so sure anymore if this was a good idea. But now it was too late, she was already here, and both of my friends were waiting for me to explain why I had called them.

"Uhm, actually... actually there's something else I wanted to talk about," I began, awkwardly scratching my neck as I watched the hyena turning her head, glancing at me with a confused look.

"What?" she asked as she sat up, turning to face me. Suddenly her eyes widened before she spoke slowly,

"Oh my God, Jay. Are you finally confessing that you're gay?"

"What?! N- No! I'm no-"

"It's alright man, we already know," Chris joined in, before the two of them bursted out into laughter.

"What? No! I'm not gay! God!" I exclaimed, glaring at the chuckling hyena as I sat ramrod straight on my bed. My face heated up as I listened to the two of them laughing until I eventually spun around and socked Chris into his leg, the feline yelping of surprise as he began to rub his leg.

I just grumbled under my breath as I waited for the two idiots to finish, crossing my arms and closing my eyes. Here I was, trying to have a serious conversation and those two nutjobs decide to fuck up the atmosphere! Bloody hell..

"Alright, alright," Sam finally managed to speak through her own laughter, still smiling widely as she regarded me, "I'm sorry, buddy but I just had to. Alright, what is this about?"

I could actually see the genuine curiosity in her eyes as I glanced at her, even though she was still smiling from her joke. I turned my head as Chris rolled the office chair over until he was sitting across from me and Sam, the snow leopard still rubbing his leg absentmindedly as he regarded me with an intrigued look.

"Yeah, you said it has something to do with... you know.. the other day," he said, his smile dropping as he addressed the sensitive topic. Sam's own smile dropped upon hearing this, the hyena suddenly staring at me with a worried expression. It was only natural for them to act like worrywarts upon hearing this, and I really appreciated their concern, but I wasn't some kind of porcelain figure, threatening to burst into thousand shards upon contact. I could handle myself.

….Okay, no I couldn't, which was exactly the reason why I had called them here.

"Alright, what I'm about to tell you guys, has to stay between us," I began, throwing both of them a serious look, "Nothing what we're about to discuss leaves this room, understood?"

"W- What's going on?" Sam asked with a concerned voice, "Jay, what's happened?"

Averting my eyes, I tried to organize my thoughts. I needed to be careful about this, I couldn't just straight out tell them everything like some conspiracy theorist. They would think I was crazy and brush it off as paranoia. Even though I trusted both of them enough to believe me in this matter, I still couldn't afford to take any chances. I needed both of them in on this.

Swallowing the lump in throat, I eventually spoke up, trying to keep my voice steady as I retold them my suspicions,

"Alright, so... I think... I think the murderer, the mammal who killed that waitress... I think they're targeting me."

Looking at my two friends, much to my surprise they just stared at me for a moment before letting out a sigh, both of them slumping in their seats as they shook their heads. Confused about their reactions, I threw Sam a questioning look, the hyena regarding me with a disgustingly pitiful look,

"Jay, we already told you. There's nothing you have to worry about," she said in a comforting tone, putting a paw on my leg, "There's no one targeting you, it's just some... crazed maniac trying to-"

"No, you don't understand," I interrupted her, shaking my head as I tried to make my point, "I- I've been getting all these... these weird messages."

"Weird messages like... spam mail?" Chris slowly asked, his brow raised in a confused manner.

"No, not spa-"

"Porn bots? Are you talking about porn bots? You know, you just gotta bloc-"

"I'm not talking about porn bots! Guys! This is serious," I finally yelled, rendering both of them silent as they regarded me. Dragging my paw across my face I tried to regain my composure as I took another steadying breath. Fortunately my friends didn't interrupt me this time as I spoke up slowly,

"I... The day I came back home, some mammal sent me a message. Here I-"

Realizing that this was actually hard to explain without any visual help, I got up from my bed as I stepped to my desk, quickly opening a drawer and getting out the things I needed in order for my friends to understand what I was onto.

Returning to my bed and to my two confused friends, I sat back down before showing them what I had in my paws.

"This is the message I have received," I said as I handed Sam the small piece of paper. She hesitantly took it, throwing me a confused look before opening and reading the note. Her expression just grew more confused as she looked up.

"It.. It's just saying 'Welcome home, Jay', I don't see the problem," she stuttered.

"You're freaking out over a welcome home letter?" Chris commented, throwing me a perplexed look as I just shook my head, before pointing at the note she was holing. I was slowly growing desperate and annoyed by how badly I was handling this. Fucking stress...

"No, no!" I groaned, "Look at the end of the note, what do you see?"

Glancing back down at the note, Sam slowly answered before handing over the note to Chris who took it, "It's.. some kind of scribble... I don't know where this is going Jay, and I'm seriously worried."

"Look closer, please... just do it," I pressed, urging them to look closer at the note. Heaving a sigh the two of them looked at the note before Chris eventually spoke up, still sounding beyond confused,

"It looks like some kind of star."

"Yes, thank you," I sighed, before pulling out my phone. I could see from the corner of my eyes how they exchanged looks and I didn't need to be a genius to know that I wasn't even close to convincing them that I was literally targeted. Admittedly, I haven't showed them anything that was very convincing, but I was sure that when they would see the next thing, they would finally understand.

"Here, look at this," I said after finally finding the pictures I was looking for.

The two of them looked exactly half a second at the picture before the shoved the phone away from them, both of them groaning as they clenched their eyes shut.

"Good God, Jay! Why did you take a picture of her?"

"What the fuck dude, you took a picture of a fucking corpse?!"

"Ugh, no just... just look at what's above her, on the wall, will you?" I pressed as I handed them the phone, Chris eventually taking the phone as he looked at it with clear disgust on his face. Slowly his expression faltered until he looked rather intrigued, Sam soon following suit as the two of them focussed on the cryptic code on the wall written in blood.

"Some... numbers," Sam thought out loud, "And another message saying 'Let's play a game'."

"Look at the end of the message," I commented, gauging their reactions as I saw understanding flashing across both of their faces.

"A star," the two of them answered before looking up at me. I just nodded as I watched how the two of them slowly came to the same realization.

"So... you think the mammal who kil- who did this," Sam spoke up, "Is the same mammal that sent you the welcome-home message?"

I nodded.

"And you have no idea who it is?" Chris asked. I nodded again.

The feline just let out a sigh after hearing this, staring back at the picture on my phone as he seemed to be thinking. Sam on the other paw was just staring blankly into space, apparently not being able to come to terms with the situation. She was frowning slightly, her eyes unfocussed, and I could almost see the gears in her head spinning. I could understand her, really. To witness a murder and then realizing that the murderer was most likely the same mammal who had been sending you creepy messages over the last few days was a pretty disturbing thing, to say the least. Honestly, the three of us were handling this surprisingly well, I had expected one of us to at least break down and throw up or something...

...Oh wait, yeah. I already did that.

"That's all?" Sam eventually spoke up, causing me and Chris to turn our heads. Regarding her serious expression with my own, I quickly tried to recall any more messages I might have received over the last few days. What more was there? What else had happened? I came home, I met Chris, I went to the party, the shack in the woods...

_The shack! The necklace!_

I remembered I still had the silver necklace with the heart-shaped locket I had found up in the shack. Honestly, I wasn't sure if this necklace had anything to do with those messages, but as I thought about it, I couldn't deny the nervous churning in my guts. All of my instincts were telling me that there's more to it. And my instincts rarely disappoint me.

"There's one more thing," I said before getting up from the bed to walk over to the pile of clothes by the window. Kneeling down and digging through my clothes, I quickly found what I was looking for. I grabbed the silver necklace and hurriedly returned to Sam and Chris who were waiting expectantly, seemingly starting to realize that this whole thing was way more than just paranoia.

"The night Chris and me got arrested," I began as I handed them the necklace, Chris taking it into his paws as I talked, "We were up there in that abandoned shack in the woods, and that's where... where... Sam? You alright?"

My words died down as soon as I glanced up to look at Sam's face, my heart leaping as I watched the blood being drained from her face, her wide eyes blankly staring at the necklace as if she was seeing a ghost.

"S—Sam? You alright?" I repeated as she slowly reached out to grab the necklace before swallowing. She didn't answer as she began to fiddle around the object, her paws feeling the texture of it before she finally uttered a response, her voice low and coarse,

"Where... I mean how..." she breathed, sounding as if she was desperately trying to get a coherent thought. I frowned upon seeing the usually so collected hyena in this state. Putting a paw onto her shoulder and causing her to flinch as she looked up at me, I tried again with a calming voice,

"Sam, what's going on?"

For a moment I thought she didn't hear me, the hyena seemingly frozen as she just stared at me with wide eyes, until she finally came out of her reverie. Glancing down at the necklace, she swallowed audibly before answering, trying to keep her voice steady as she spoke up,

"T- This necklace, it's... it belonged to my mother," she breathed, frowning sadly as she stared at the silver object in her paws, "She passed it onto me after she... after..."

My heart ached as I watched one of my best friend staring at the necklace, seemingly lost in her own thoughts and memories, the real world around her forgotten. I wasn't dumb, I knew what was going on. It was so obvious, and yet I didn't see it. I didn't think it was possible, never did. No one ever thought or hoped that those kind of things would happen to you. They just do, and then they hit you like an oncoming train...

"Sam, you don't have to.." Chris spoke up in a soft tone, the usually so jovial feline sounding like a concerned father. But Sam just shook her head before she wiped the tears away from her eyes, choking a mirthless chuckle before she answered, her eyes still trained on the necklace,

"No, no, it's fine," she said before looking up at me with grieving eyes, "You deserve to know. My... my mother... when you left for college Jay, she got sick. She..." she took a deep shuddering breath as she tried to collect her hurtful memories, "She was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It was already too late to start any therapy or chemo... She passed away six months after you left. That's why I've been so busy working. My dad is too old and sick to keep working, and with mom gone I'm the only one in my household who's still able to make ends meet."

Even though I already knew what was going on, it didn't prevent all the emotions to tighten in my chest as I listened to her. A lot of things had happened while I was gone, a lot of things I couldn't possibly account for, things I would have never expected to happen. Sam had lost her mom, Chris' hatred for prey was out of control, and I was being chased by a killer.

And on the other paw, some things never changed at all. It was still the Meadowlands, boring and dull. Prey and preds still didn't get along. Days will end and turn into nights. The stars will continue to shine above our heads, looking down at us with their cold lights.

We were broken. We were godless youth.

"I'm so sorry Sam, I... I didn't know," I spoke up softly before I wrapped by arms around her for a gentle hug. She quickly reciprocated the gesture, the two of us burying our faces into each other's shoulder as we shared a moment. It broke my heart to see her like this, to hear how something so unjust could happen to such a good soul as Sam. She didn't deserve any of this. She deserved the world, but not this.

"It's fine," she choked, her voice muffled by my hoodie as she tightened the hug, "I'm fine, thank you Jay, but... I'm fine."

After a moment we broke the hug, the hyena taking a shuddering breath and wiping the tears from her face as she gave me a reassuring smile that didn't reach her eyes. Eventually she glanced back down at the necklace in her paws.

"This necklace," Sam continued after a moment, interrupting my thoughts as I looked at her, "She gave it to me before she passed away. It's what reminds me of her, so I carry it with me at all times."

She then frowned, her expression darkening as she looked up to regard me,

"Which brings me to my next question; how did you find this? I mean, I lost it a few weeks ago, I thought it went down the drain when I showered or something but... you said you found it in a shack in the woods? Hell, I didn't even know there was one..."

I honestly didn't have a clue how to answer that question. I remembered how Chris and me found it in the shack in the woods. I already had the feeling how out of place it was, that it didn't belong there. Apparently I was right, but it did nothing to calm my nerves as I thought about that question.

How the hell did it get there, if Sam carried it around her at all times?

Hoping he could help me out in this matter, I glanced over to Chris and just as I expected, the snow leopard looked just as befuddled as I was. None of us had anything to go on. Even though I felt like there was more to it, that the fact we found the necklace couldn't possibly be a coincidence, I also couldn't deny that it seemed strangely out of place. Who was to say that it was even related to the murder and the messages? It didn't seem like it was as it didn't included any new message. And it was in pristine condition, no rust, no scratch. No star.

"A—Alright, this is all very weird and all," Chris spoke up after a while, causing me and Sam to turn to face the feline, "but I think we have something else to address. I mean, that... guy, whoever killed that waitress obviously left you a coded message. Have you looked into it yet?"

Slightly frowning, I grabbed my phone as Chris handed it me. Glancing at the picture I took of the bathroom stall, I answered slowly,

"I... I actually haven't had the time, or really I didn't exactly want to look at it yet," I answered, my eyes trained on the picture as I thought about how to encode it.

_18•15•14•9•13•1•19•18•21_

It honestly didn't seem like a very complex code. Maybe I just had to replace them with the respective letter from the alphabet?

"R... O... N... I..." I mumbled, mentally picturing the alphabet and recounting it with my fingers as I looked at the numbers. It almost seemed like I was on the right track, but the more I thought about it, the further I decoded the message, I soon realized that maybe I wasn't on the right track at all.

"Roni Masru?"

Tearing my eyes from the picture, I looked up at Chris who was staring at the picture as well, a perplexed expression on his face as he had seemingly managed to decode it as well. But judging by his and Sam's expression, it was obvious that they had no idea what it was supposed to mean.

"Maybe it's a name?" Sam suggested as she exchanged looks with Chris, the two of them shrugging.

"What kind of mother would name their child 'Roni'?" Chris then chuckled, earning him a light slap on his shoulder as Sam sent him a playful glare.

I frowned as I looked back down at the code. Something wasn't right. Obviously that couldn't be the message, maybe I was doing this all wrong. Maybe it was an anagram? Or maybe I had to just read it backwards?

_Ursam Inor? No, that can't be... Maybe Urs..._

And then it hit me.

"Ursa minor," I mumbled, my eyes lightening up in understanding as I looked up at my two friends, "Ursa minor, that's the message."

"And... how is that different, because I still have no idea what's that supposed to mean," Chris stated flatly as he regarded me with a quizzical expression.

"Well, when in doubt, ask Zoogle, right?" Sam added with a light smirk as she pulled out her phone. Opening her browser the hyena quickly typed in the two words, and much to her surprise she immediately received a clear answer. My ears perked as I listened to her reading out loud what she had found,

" _Ursa minor_ , or _Little Bear_ , is a star constellation in the Northern sky, commonly known as _Little Dipper_ ," she read out loud, confusion still apparent in her voice and on her face, " _Ursa minor_ has been traditionally very important for navigation as the brightest star of the constellation, the _Polaris_ , is also known as the _North Star_."

"That's it?" Chris snorted upon Sam finishing, "That's the message? That guy fucking kills a mammal and tells us to look at the stars?"

I frowned as I listened to the article. I couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was amiss. Something was wrong. No, I was definitely sure that this wasn't it at all. This code was way too easy to decode, and the solution was completely out of context. Whoever did this wanted to play a game, they wanted me to play along. And much to my disdain, I had to realize that playing along would include more riddles, and therefore more murders. Either that, or I would have to wait for the killer to slip up. No mammal was perfect, it was only a matter of time until they would make a mistake. That I was sure of.

"No, this isn't it," I chimed in, causing Sam and Chris to look at me, "This is only the first part. The killer said they want to play a game, and this is only the first round. We need to wait out until I get the next message. We'll see what to do from there on."

"I'm sorry, what do you mean 'we'?" Sam snorted as she regarded me with a questioning look, "You don't seriously think we're going to handle this alone, do you? I don't know about you guys, but I'm definitely going to report this to the police."

"You agreed to keep this secret," I retorted, to which she raised herself from the bed to glare at me,

"I didn't agree to anything, Jay. This is a fricking murder case and you're obviously being targeted. If you think I'm just going to stay silent and get you possibly killed, then you're seriously mistaken."

I shot up from the bed and rounded Chris, who just watched with wide eyes as I took a step towards her, desperation and anger lacing my voice as I regarded her,

"You can't go to the police with this! None of this must leave the room!"

"Are you delusional?" she huffed, "You're in danger, Jay! There's a dangerous killer out there, some maniac who plays with their victims and you're just going to willingly play along without contacting the authorities? Are you that dumb?"

"Don't you understand that I'm not the only one in danger?!" I eventually exclaimed, rendering her silent as she watched me with concerned yet stoic eyes. My lungs were heaving for air, my heart was racing, and my paws were nervously flexing, but I paid none of that any attention as I maintained eye contact with the hyena.

"Don't you understand?" I repeated in a softer voice as I swallowed the lump in my throat, "This killer isn't stupid, Sam. They know everything about me, they know where I live, they know who I am. They've probably been stalking me for days, so who's to say that they don't know about you? Yes, I am targeted, but so are you just by mere association.

"I can't take any chances, Sam. Not this time. If any of this leaves this room, the killer will know, and I honestly don't know if I could live with myself... knowing that I was responsible for the death of my mother or my best friends..."

The hyena didn't answer as she just stood there in front of me. But I didn't need her to say anything. All I needed to do was to look into her hazel eyes. I could see anger, I could see reluctance and worry, I could see fear and love. But I could also see understanding. No matter what she would say, nothing could deter me from my decision. The killer wanted to play a game, and I was going to play. But not Sam, Chris, or my mother. I would die before seeing any of them getting hurt.

"Alright," Chris then spoke up after the tense silence, the snow leopard raising himself from the office chair as he walked over to us, putting a paw on my shoulder as I glanced at him, "We promise you we won't tell anyone about this, _right_?"

He threw Sam a pointed look to which she just huffed before turning back to me, giving me a soft smile as he continued,

"It's late, buddy. You should go to sleep. Call us if you need anything, alright?"

I just nodded mutely as I gave him a reassuring smile which he reciprocated. Glancing back at Sam, I could see that the hyena was still unsatisfied with the situation. I was well aware that she wanted nothing more than to just take care of her friends, but I also knew that a mammal was only capable of doing so much. She was already busy enough as it was. She had a family to take care of, I didn't need to add to her stress.

"Go home and rest, Sam," I smiled at her, "I'm fine. I promise I will call you as soon as something happens, alright?"

The hyena seemed to consider this for a few moments before she eventually relented. She nodded and gave me a short smile before pulling me into a hug. After breaking apart Chris and Sam left my bedroom and the house without another word, my two friends leaving as I returned to my bed. Even though it was quite the relief to have finally told my friends about the things that kept haunting me for the last few days, I couldn't shake off the feeling that I had done a grave mistake. I frowned as I glared blankly at the ceiling, my paws behind my head as I tried to relax.

Had I done the right thing by telling Sam and Chris about this? What if I had ultimately endangered them by entrusting them with this secret? The killer was targeting me, so much was clear. Maybe I shouldn't have told them, maybe this was one huge mistake...

But as my mind continued to wander around the endless possibilities of the future, I slowly drifted into much needed sleep. My body soon melted into the mattress as my eyelids began to feel like lead, my body unable to keep itself awake. And as the border between consciousness and slumber started to fade, I slipped into a dreamless sleep, filled with darkness as I was swallowed by the void.

-o-

It didn't seem like I was able to sleep very long as I suddenly awoke with a start, my body jerking from my bed as I opened my eyes, the sunlight almost blinding me as my exhausted mind was trying to catch up with reality. A bloodcurdling scream echoed through the house as my mind struggled to wake up, and yet my instincts were screaming at me that something was very wrong. Reality finally settling in, I widened my eyes as my body shot up from the mattress, my legs already carrying me across the room before I sprinted down the stairs.

I was awakened by a scream. A scream that caused my blood to freeze. It was a female voice, belonging to a mammal I loved more than my own life. A mammal that had given me so much over her life and never, not once asked for anything in return. I clenched my teeth as I ran through the small building, the cramped space suddenly seeming as if it was miles wide. Time seemed to be standing still, my heart pounding out of my chest as only one toxic thought started to infest my mind and filled my body with crippling fear. All the thoughts about yesterday reappeared in my head like a cascade of terror. The killer. The messages. The murder. The game...

It came from outside.

"Mom!" I yelled. No answer. The fear. It was growing.

"MOM!" Again no answer.

After what seemed like an unbearable eternity, I eventually reached the front door, slamming my whole weight against the door and bursting out of the building into the fresh morning air. But my brain registered none of the cold as I stumbled onto the grass, my wide eyes screening my surroundings as I looked for her, lungs struggling for air and heart for blood. And then I finally saw her.

My heart leapt into my throat as my eyes fell upon her unmoving body, sitting on her knees on the wet grass.

"Mom!" I again exclaimed, running towards the elder maned wolf before I collapsed onto my knees beside her, my paws starting to pat her down as I checked if she had suffered any injuries, looking for blood or anything out of place. Fortunately I couldn't see any indications that she was harmed in any way, in fact she was completely fine. Nothing was amiss. The only thing that kept bothering me though, was her frozen state.

Not once did she move a single muscle.

"Mom?" I asked in a concerned voice, swallowing nervously as I regarded her. No answer.

She was still kneeling on the grass, her eyes wide like saucers and her body rigid, but as I inspected her closer, I could see her trembling. Her whole body was trembling, her breathing was erratic, her lips quivering as she continued to stare at something.

And as I decided to follow her gaze, curious and terrified at the same of what she was looking at, I soon followed her suit as my body froze. My mind went completely blank. My mouth went dry. My heart reached its peak and I stopped breathing. Fear was the only thing I felt at this moment.

There was so much blood. The grass. The tree from which he hung. His fur. Everything was soaked. Everything was red. His empty glazed over eyes. His throat, slit open violently as the blood oozed out from the wound.

I never liked Mr. Lesterson. No one did. He was a pain in the ass, a speciest, a grumpy old goat. But no matter how much I actually disliked him, never did I wish him to die this way. No one deserved to die this way. This wasn't murder. This was straight up slaughter.

And as I kneeled beside my mother, finally managing to pull myself together enough to close my mouth, a single thought started to echo through my mind like a broken record, playing a cruel melody that was ultimately announcing the start of a game of cat-and-mouse.

A game between me and the killer. Between me and Aster.


	9. Author's Note

**AN: I AM NOT DEAD**

Hey guys, I am so sorry for the monthlong delay, but I've just been so busy with life. After graduating high school this summer I immediately started an internship, causing my time to be filled with work and such. I had barely any time to work on my fics, or even think about them. But now that my internship is over, I finally have some free time to work on them again. I will primarily focus on WTSWMD, and even though I have some free time, I can't be constantly working on it, so I would say one update per month. I'm really sorry for the long wait, and I hope you guys are still reading this, but I want to thank all of my readers for your patience. :)

I'm already working on the next chapter, so expect it in a few days, or a week.

Sorry again ;)

**END OF AN**


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